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Approach burnout

anonymous12345

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So, during the summer I did probably a couple of hundred day game approaches and it practically didn’t lead to anything. All day game approaches these days are also fruitless for me, no interest in talking no matter what. I social dance some, there’s no interest in dating, girls there go for leisure or are hung up in their own issues/lives.

These days I encounter good opportunities now and then but I realize I have developed basically a fear for women. In my world it would be absurd or really strange if a girl, like at all would be interested in even talking. I haven’t really experienced it in a long time, tbh. I trip on many thought traps here, see the rejections before I’ve tried, as I’m used to experience them.

It’s not lines/SMV/game (although it surely can be improved) that is the issue, it is the strong emotion of being scared/anxious/fear that leads to passivity/avoidance, that is the issue. I barely feel it though, it’s latent under some surface. I’m basically a teen boy again.

So, approach/player’s burnout. How does one fix this?
 

Slowhandluke

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If we are to believe this guy, you need to talk to more "diverse" people. If you hit on the same people, you will likely get the same result.
 

user252009

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If we are to believe this guy, you need to talk to more "diverse" people. If you hit on the same people, you will likely get the same result.
He's saying you should change yourself to the most extreme version, which is dumb
 

momentomori

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Just stop approaching, lol.

It doesn't work and you've discovered that, so move on with your life. At most, just do the occasional approach or two while out and about. Long sessions will just waste your time and leave you frustrated.
 

corrector

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Improve your looks by a couple of points and try again. Reach out to other sub5s like @characternote and use his feedback to manage your expectations.
 

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MtmVaott

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It’s not lines/SMV/game (although it surely can be improved) that is the issue, it is the strong emotion of being scared/anxious/fear that leads to passivity/avoidance, that is the issue. I barely feel it though, it’s latent under some surface.
What thoughts do you have in the moments these emotions come?
 

Slowhandluke

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He's saying you should change yourself to the most extreme version, which is dumb
It worked for him and he seems happy. Are you happy with your dating life? :)

Basically, he saying you must apeal to a niche. Trying to be classically attractive when you don't have the tools and attributes is not a smart move.

Your aren't going to apeal to girls who are into Chad if you don't have the bone structure, the muscles, the looks, etc... you can try, but it will be in vain if you are overweight, short and have no money, etc. It's just a bridge too far and you will start to become like every other guy trying to be Chad. The more you desperately try, the more you blend into the huge population of guys doing the same thing. Ultimately trying to compete with men who have won the genetic lottery (strong, tall, masculine facial structure, naturally charismatic, etc..) is a losing proposition.

Basically, be yourself (or an extreme version of yourself) to standout and start meeting a lot of women. At some point, you will meet a girl who is into rock collecting, skinny nerd body, with a penchant for over analyzing things. If she has a fetish for that, then you win because the typical Chad will not be able to compete with you.
 

anonymous12345

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What thoughts do you have in the moments these emotions come?
It's catastrophic thoughts, stuff like "she'll reject me/get mad/it'll never work". Been conditioned this way by poor game, for various reasons.

In approaching, a challenge is to be equipped in the manner that losses, which are inevitable, doesn't condition you (negatively). There's always uncertainty involved so some girls will turn you down, for reasons you cannot predict. I think the key here is be brilliant at game, and in each post mortem after a failed approach be completely precise and realize why it wen't wrong. If your fault -> learn & improve, if not -> don't condition yourself with it, #next.

But I think an acquaintance solved this for me. In essence it's a problem if one somehow gets programmed that women are power entities above/dominating you (and off things like damaging you/being a threat). It's an upside down relationship between male/female that doesn't work, considering the nature of the sexes.
 

anonymous12345

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I think the key here is be brilliant at game, and in each post mortem after a failed approach be completely precise and realize why it wen't wrong. If your fault -> learn & improve, if not -> don't condition yourself with it, #next.
The tricky part here is that one typically doesn't have the knowledge of whether it one's own fault or not. If one had, one wouldn't have made any possible mistake.
 

PowerQuest

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So, during the summer I did probably a couple of hundred day game approaches and it practically didn’t lead to anything. All day game approaches these days are also fruitless for me, no interest in talking no matter what. I social dance some, there’s no interest in dating, girls there go for leisure or are hung up in their own issues/lives.

These days I encounter good opportunities now and then but I realize I have developed basically a fear for women. In my world it would be absurd or really strange if a girl, like at all would be interested in even talking. I haven’t really experienced it in a long time, tbh. I trip on many thought traps here, see the rejections before I’ve tried, as I’m used to experience them.

It’s not lines/SMV/game (although it surely can be improved) that is the issue, it is the strong emotion of being scared/anxious/fear that leads to passivity/avoidance, that is the issue. I barely feel it though, it’s latent under some surface. I’m basically a teen boy again.

So, approach/player’s burnout. How does one fix this?
I see you are in the feminist country number one in the world; Sweden.
It is not strange you have issues and headwind.
 

Kotaix

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The tricky part here is that one typically doesn't have the knowledge of whether it one's own fault or not. If one had, one wouldn't have made any possible mistake.
You do not have the ability to control other people's feelings, and any attempt at doing so is likely to backfire on you.

You can make zero mistakes and still get shot down simply because you're not her type. Trying to figure out what you did wrong in these scenarios is a recipe for madness.

You have to stop taking rejection personally.
 

DonQuixote

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You should move to another country. Sweden is done for.

RIP in pieces ScandinaCuckCels.
 

MtmVaott

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The tricky part here is that one typically doesn't have the knowledge of whether it one's own fault or not. If one had, one wouldn't have made any possible mistake.
I want to point out you say 'fault' and 'mistake', and you said you think 'she's mad' in those situations.
There is information in that you talk exactly like that and not in a different way, because you could also say 'something I did made her feel disrespected' or 'How I am is right'. (Hope you understand, English isn't my mother tongue).
I'm actually surprised you can access what you think in those situations, I can't. That's a big win.
I found this video to be useful: CBT Part 1: How to Spot Your True Core Beliefs - YouTube

And yes, always check the thoughts after each 'screw-up'. There is no point in doing a new approach or continue to pursue if you didn't use the last learning opportunity.
 

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Slowhandluke

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You do not have the ability to control other people's feelings, and any attempt at doing so is likely to backfire on you.

You can make zero mistakes and still get shot down simply because you're not her type. Trying to figure out what you did wrong in these scenarios is a recipe for madness.

You have to stop taking rejection personally.

Randomness plays a bigger role in our lives than we think.

Yeah, don't take rejection seriously..
 

characternote

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You do not have the ability to control other people's feelings, and any attempt at doing so is likely to backfire on you.

You can make zero mistakes and still get shot down simply because you're not her type. Trying to figure out what you did wrong in these scenarios is a recipe for madness.

You have to stop taking rejection personally.
This is the sort of post that would get you banned off some PUA forums now, and many PUA forums in the past.

Although you are completely right.

ps - even that nut bar rooshv used to ban people for saying what you just said, but then years later (before he went full on religious nut) he made a blog post completely backtracking all of his prior post and contradicting his actions with the ban-hammer and conceded that 'game' is basically something to help you seal the deal with girls who are attracted to you' (i'm paraphrasing there but it's very close from memory)
 
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