Approach anxiety : Unconscious problem

[innerlogic]

I have a problem when it comes to approach anxiety and I honestly don't know how to deal with it.

To make it simple no matter how hard I try to motivate myself, no matter how often I try to go out and put myself in positions where I can meet women, something in me prevents me from actually talking to them.

It is really hard to explain this process but it is like everytime I see a girl I want to talk to and there is people around, something in me woke up and temporarely chagnged my thinking patterns. I am not talking about the feeling of attraction, I am talking about an intense feeling with associated ideas so strong that they completely inhibit me.

When a girl is alone, I don’t have any problem approaching but it is when people are around that I cannot act, I have an irrational fear of the judgment of the people around. I have tried to remind myself of what I want in those situations, tried telling myself that the judgment of others is irrelavant but everything I tried failed.

Again, I am not affraid of the judgment of the girl but for some reason I have this intense fear of the strangers around us.

Anybody else having the same issue ? how to deal with it ? I know some people will tell me to just act and ignore my fears but this fear is so strong, the feeling is so intense it induces temporary “warped thinking” in me. I temporarely find myself in limiting reality tunnels that I cannot escape no matter how much I try to remind myself that I want to talk to the girl.


Any idea how to snap out of it ? How to shut up this dormant inner p#ssy always choosing to wake up at the worst time ?

 

[betheman]

you are sat in a bar, there is a girl you like the look of, you want to go and talk to her...but! there are quite a few people around and close by, these people who dont know you and really dont give a sh!t about you, have a hold over you, they have your balls and they have them because you have already handed themto them!

now, some geeky nerd type comes in, gets a drink, then nervously walks up to the girl and angain, nervously attempts to talk to the girl, they exchange a few polite words and he walks away, maybe a girl nearby notices and nudges her friend and they have a giggle, a couple of guys across the bar are having the same thoughts as you about the girl....but the nerdy guy gets the respect because he had the balls to talk to the girl, he even has the respect of the girls who giggled because he had the balls to do it, do thoise giggling girls even know you are in the room?

 

[innerlogic]

sorry for not being specific enough, my approach anxiety problem is with day game. In a bar or a club I don't have this fear of judgment of others. I guess it's because this context people assume you are going to talk to girls.

 

[Ronaldo7]

Ask yourself this question. Do you care what people think, say, or hear about you? No? Then do what you want and go and do your thing. Yes? You are really going to be a complete loser who cares more about what other think than what you (Yourself) thinks. "Even if the question is a hard one, the answer will always be a simple one."