Approach anxiety in clubs, who the heck do you overcome it?

[pyros]

I'd like to ask you how and when did you get rid of your approach anxiety?

I mean, I am 26 and I get my highest approach anxiety when Im in a club.
First I do not like clubs, so I do not feel very good inside but ok. Second, I normally go with five buddies. One is like a predator, he tries to hit on lots of girls with very low success rate, but he keeps on trying (normally he hits on nor very cute girls...brbbrb...).
The rest of my friends just talk to girls or try to pick them up maybe 2/10 of the times we go to a club.

So here I am. I've made out two times with two girls in a club, I've gotten a few numbers some times in my life, but the thing is that normally I have so much approach anxiety that I cant approach. And this stupid thing has happened I think since my highschool prom. Can you believe it? I know it happens to all of us, but WHY??
It goes like this:
I see a girl I like, then I look at her several times, I start to think how I should approach, I look at her again...I feel nervous...and after some minutes I just cant do it.
Some times I try to force myself but cant, just rarely I finally do it, and if I do not drink alcochol, for sure Im not gonna be able to approach.

I'd like to do it because I think I am totally capable but in the end I freeze, and it really annoys me and bothers me cause I ask myself: why?? why do I freeze? because I do not want to feel rejected, but if I do not do it I feel bad and kind of a looser (just in this scenario).

I compare this to a job interview. Ive done several of them, I do not like them, I get nervous and I get anxiety, but since I do need the job, I force myslef and I do the ****ing interview. So I'd like to be able to do the same thing when approaching girls in clubs.
Normally my a.a. just happens in club.



1) However I wonder how many guys find a nice good girl for a LTR in a club?
2) How and when did you overcome it?
3) why does it happen? it does not make any sense.

I'm getting older, I've improved in many ways my seduction skills but when Im in a stupid club I am as I was 5 years ago.


Thanks.

 

[Ethernal]

You need to realize that this thing is going on in clubs all over the world. The problem is not fearing getting rejected. That is normal. The problem is that you need to accept that sometimes you just get rejected. You can't get 10 out of 10 girls that you want. Maybe someone can, good for them, but let's keep it real. If you do get rejected, to hell with her, let's say you try it with 10 different girls. You will probably get at least 2 out of them. And trust me you will forget the other 8 really fast, once you know you got the other 2. Just accept it, don't fear rejection, and go get them.

 

[Purefilth]

If you hate the club then don't go there man, do things you want to do and maybe you'll meet someone of interest who is worthy of an LTR with you.

Approach anxiety in the club - you said you hesitate then start overthinking - thats basically the only problem. If you count to 3 them move in, your brain still hasn't clicked in to gear with all the scenarios that it spins off to.

Personally I like to open sets at the bar, just little comments while everyones waiting to get served - this gives you an idea of which chicks are receptive and how receptive they are.

once thats done, you are a familiar face, who's hopefully made her laugh a little and then the cold approach is a lot warmer.

1) Yes, I've found a couple of good girl LTRs in the club - you have to be able to screen well though. So many put the act on there.

2)Occasionally its still there, act fast -count to three and move - do it before it kicks in