"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Read more...

appologise or dump

Chromeo

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 26, 2010
Messages
299
Reaction score
8
Have been pondering over my last mistep

Should you appologise for something you kinda feel like a **** for doing? Or do you just let the plate drop as obviously she didnt mean enough to you to not do something that might hurt her?

is wanting to appologise an early onset of onenitis?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,657
Reaction score
6,614
Age
69
Location
The 7th Dimension
It's impossible to say without knowing the particulars. I think that a good rule of thumb is to apologize as sparingly as possible. Almost never, but that doesn't mean absolutely never.

I try to conduct myself in life as a man of integrity, and I let that be my guide in dealing with apologies. If I genuinely hurt an innocent party I will apologize. But when it comes to women, we men are FORCED in today's world to deal strategically with them. My strategy is to reserve apologies for the mistakes that actually hurt someone else unfairly.
 

Chromeo

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 26, 2010
Messages
299
Reaction score
8
basically things were going good with this one girl, ei told her I cancelled the rest of my dates for spring break so we could hang out lol

then went ahead and got another girls phone number in front of her. I had been drinking and was just playing the game. I should have just apologized right away but didnt feel the need until it seemed like I was in trouble... ei her now low IL. So now I been feeling like a **** for not apologizing and not feeling the need to until I saw consequences and realizing I would not have excepted this from a woman. Ive pulled back now, my other plates are wondering where I been anyway haha, but I find myself thinking wow that was stupid, but maybe I did that because my IL was not as high as it should have been.

Or should getting someones phone number in front of someone else be such a big deal? Maybe that person was a potential business contact not necessarily a romantic interest.
 

pipe007

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 2, 2004
Messages
638
Reaction score
53
well Imagine being in her shoes.
What if you would have been the one who went on a date with her, only to see her asking for other guy's phone number in front of you... while you are just sitting there not knowing how to react or think of that.

I would get up and leave if a girl I went on a date with pulled that on me intentionally. Unless you told her it was a friend, or someone you knew, but if she saw you didn't know her and you just walked up to her and got a number....then two things can happen:

- If she is a Low self esteem chick, she will probably grow more interested in you and will try to get your attention. (she probably has many issues)

- If she is a healthy, stable, high self esteem chick, she would lose interest by the disrespect.

so you have to learn when its ok to play the game and when you should just chill with the girl you are going out with, its ok to flirt with other girls, but asking for their numbers ... I'm not sure, i have to see what others think
just my two cents.
 

WC2

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 29, 2006
Messages
1,700
Reaction score
69
Location
New York City
Are you with this chick? If not, you're allowed to grab numbers and so is she.

You're mistake was telling her that you're 'canceling your dates for the rest of the week.' This made her THINK that you two were exclusive. You should know this, especially if you're spinning multiple plates.

When you spin plates the most dangerous type of information you can divulge is unneeded information.

She doesn't need to know who else you're dating.
She doesn't need to know you have other women at all.

This is why people decide to remain single or exclusive. If you're single, what you do is your business and your business alone.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

Chromeo

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 26, 2010
Messages
299
Reaction score
8
WC2 said:
Are you with this chick? If not, you're allowed to grab numbers and so is she.

You're mistake was telling her that you're 'canceling your dates for the rest of the week.' This made her THINK that you two were exclusive. You should know this, especially if you're spinning multiple plates.
ok I guess I did say we were exclusive then, and went ahead and got that girls number. I wanted to get to know this chick a little better so I would like to see her some more obviously, so how would you guys fix this?

There could have been any number of reasons I got that girls number, old friend, business, some common interest.
 

Schwank

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
112
Reaction score
4
Never apologise! That's *****!

Seriously, though. If you genuinely fvcked up somehow, then apologise for it. Don't over-think these things. If you did wrong, make amends with an apology. It's not hard.
 

Chromeo

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 26, 2010
Messages
299
Reaction score
8
UPDATE*

Dumped that broad!

Me: Whats your deal you been leavin me hangin for a week and a half?

Her:what do you mean by leavin you hagin

Me: Uh I dont know last week I was baby and now its seems like im forcing you to talk to me. I hope its not cuz of some girl I was talking to at the bar.

Her:Honestly I dont care who you talk to. I dont know, we were friends, we hooked up, I dont know the rules, where thats supposed to lead or what. Maybe we just werent on the same page and maybe we shouldnt be hooking up.

Me: ? um its supposed to lead wherever it does if it does lol

Her: well maybe it isnt a good idea for use to be hooking up

Me: well I have plenty of friends so see ya later

Like I hate to burn a friend, but that **** was just plain rude. Literally within three days I went from "baby come over I got the place to myself" to "maybe we shouldnt be hooking up" She just starts ignoring me, whatever peace.
 
Top