"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Anyone try working on plate by getting older female colleagues to nudge her into liking you?

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
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I was reading this, and it got me interested:
My older co-worker has a “puppy crush” on me. This is encouraged by our office matriarchs. The sexual desire on my part is nil. I don’t want to hurt him, but I spent most of high school and college dating one guy. I usually use the “I have a boyfriend” line to ward off unwanted advances, but we broke up over the pandemic. I don’t want to hurt my co-worker. He is generally a good guy, but the older ladies in the office are all invested in us like we’re in a Hallmark movie. It is creepy. I have turned him down twice, and they tell him “third time is the charm” and try to cheer him on and wear me down.
In an attempt to dampen this, I told one lady that he wasn’t my type. She then interrogated me. I admitted stupidly I didn’t find him attractive, and she called me “selfish and shallow.” Now they have all piled on me about how “looks aren’t everything.” He is 29 to my 21. I need this job. I have loans. I don’t know how to deal with this short of screaming in the middle of the office “I DON’T WANT TO SLEEP WITH HIM.” I know this is stupid, but I feel like I am being hunted. Can you help me not blow this up in my face? He is generally a good guy, but every time I let him down gently, these ladies take it like a challenge.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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SW15

Master Don Juan
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That's a weird situation. The woman writing seeking advice is 21 and the guy in question is 29. The age difference isn't that bad.

The effort isn't going to work for the man and it's likely to turn into an HR nightmare.
 
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