Anyone think that online dating and IG is essentially a weak move?

[itouchyou]

In my view, you take the vast majority of men out there and you put them in a catalog, you will get the exact same things.

1) Men boasting about their money and their job titles
2) Men posting pictures of themselves in order to show their cars, watches, and lifestyle
3) Men clearly telegraphing how badly they want to get laid or be in a relationship
4) Men revealing tons of information about themselves without even getting a date
5) Excessive smiling

To me I look at this and I just think everything about it signals weakness, desperation, low self worth, and lack of mystery. None of these men really have any "edge", they are just copies of each other. Is it no surprise that online dating is horrible?

 

[ivlvs_veridivs]

Online dating has been a school for me, it teached me about texting and dating before doing any cold approaches. So I like it.

I remember how pathetic and needy my text game was lol. I also remember the first time this year I kissed a chick that I took out on a date.

Right now I still see it as a school, nice inconspicuous place to learn some lessons without looking like an imbecile in public (unless you are on the date of course).

It’s still fun, or at least I view it as another sandbox to have some fun.

I don’t do IG dating though. That really seems risky and needy, unless I guess you are really handsome and the girl actually likes you

OMG this made me remember how ****ing cringe my text game was lol.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I came to the conclusion both are the female playground.

Women will lap up attention all day long ...

IRL they may get a bit but the trade off is they have to physically interact with the men and reciprocate the interest or the interaction just becomes awkward / fizzles out

On these apps women can string men along for months with almost zero skin in the game

If you're a man you have to be doing IRL because its the only way you get results which are worth the effort

 

[Clockwerk50]

Unfortunately, it has become part of the modern dating process. A woman can meet you through an app, mutual friends, or in person and then use your IG to get more context about who you are. It shows your social life, interests, lifestyle, friends, and how other people interact with you. They use the app to get enough context and information to verify who you are and feel more comfortable with you; it is part of the vetting process.

Ultimately, and personally, I believe it is better to not have Instagram than to have a bad one.

 

[quodlibet]

I met my current girlfriend of four years from online dating.

Online dating is a modern fact. I'm sorry you were unable to make it work. But countless others have made it work. You have to accept it as one of many ways people are meeting these days.

Online dating is mostly filled with garbage people but there are diamonds in the rough. Just like, clubs and bars are also filled with garbage people. Dating will never be easy.

As for guys flaunting themselves, what's the difference between doing that online or doing it person? Flaunting has been happening since Adam and Eve.

I wouldn't worry if others are excessively smiling or giving out too much information. It's best to worry about yourself and finding your way to meet someone.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Relying EXCLUSIVELY or primairly on OLD/IG is a bit pathetic, and also nowhere near as novel as we moderns pretend:

Pre-Internet, printed newspapers featured a Personals section, where folks offered up their "deets", then waited by the phone for the person of their dreams to call. The World Wide Web has just been repackaging and peddling this same instafix fantasy("You needn't shave, shower, throw on fresh clothes and deodorant, then go out into the wild, in order to sate your desires... Just say what you want, and it'll appear before you")since the late 90s

 

[CornbreadFed]

For all of you cry babies crying about OLD, there are men cleaning it up. Which person would you rather be, the loser or winner?

 

[JohnBee]

The irony is that the behaviors you're listing aren't just unattractive - they're also serious safety liabilities in serious dating contexts, especially internationally. A man who front-loads his income, job title, and lifestyle photos is essentially broadcasting his financial profile to strangers before establishing any trust or verifying who he's actually talking to. Romance scammers specifically target men who signal wealth and emotional desperation simultaneously, because those two things together indicate someone who can be financially exploited and is too emotionally invested to think clearly.

If you're pursuing genuine long-term partnership, particularly across borders where verification is harder, restraint isn't just a dating strategy - it's basic protective judgment. Keep financial details private, move conversations toward video calls early to confirm identity, and treat the process like building real trust rather than running an advertisement. The men who project mystery often aren't playing games; they're simply exercising normal discretion.

 

[itouchyou]

The irony is that the behaviors you're listing aren't just unattractive - they're also serious safety liabilities in serious dating contexts, especially internationally. A man who front-loads his income, job title, and lifestyle photos is essentially broadcasting his financial profile to strangers before establishing any trust or verifying who he's actually talking to. Romance scammers specifically target men who signal wealth and emotional desperation simultaneously, because those two things together indicate someone who can be financially exploited and is too emotionally invested to think clearly.

If you're pursuing genuine long-term partnership, particularly across borders where verification is harder, restraint isn't just a dating strategy - it's basic protective judgment. Keep financial details private, move conversations toward video calls early to confirm identity, and treat the process like building real trust rather than running an advertisement. The men who project mystery often aren't playing games; they're simply exercising normal discretion.

Any display of status or wealth implies lack of internal value. On my only dating profile, which I barely use, all I have is two pics of my face, my age, location, and job title (which isn't anything crazy). I still get really quality matches.

I don't know if women are smart enough to discern why a good looking guy would have so little on a dating app, but maybe they do.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

For all of you cry babies crying about OLD, there are men cleaning it up. Which person would you rather be, the loser or winner?

exactly. im sick to death of people complaining about OLD.

The irony is that the behaviors you're listing aren't just unattractive - they're also serious safety liabilities in serious dating contexts, especially internationally. A man who front-loads his income, job title, and lifestyle photos is essentially broadcasting his financial profile to strangers before establishing any trust or verifying who he's actually talking to. Romance scammers specifically target men who signal wealth and emotional desperation simultaneously, because those two things together indicate someone who can be financially exploited and is too emotionally invested to think clearly.

If you're pursuing genuine long-term partnership, particularly across borders where verification is harder, restraint isn't just a dating strategy - it's basic protective judgment. Keep financial details private, move conversations toward video calls early to confirm identity, and treat the process like building real trust rather than running an advertisement. The men who project mystery often aren't playing games; they're simply exercising normal discretion.

another chat gpt bot

 

[itouchyou]

exactly. im sick to death of people complaining about OLD.

it's more of an analysis of the psychology of OLD rather than a complaint.

 

[Ricky]

I will give you the perspective of someone who was in the game before the mid 2000’s PUA

at that time you might use online dating but would be embarrassed to mention

also since you were good at in person game you had a huge advantage in meeting women as most women werent online and if you were a guy who had good conversational skills you were in

now unfortunately every last tom, **** and harry simp can take up womens time online since online there is no approach anxiety

In person game is still more powerful but online women get so much attention that they get locked down by losers almost constantly

 

[crowolf]

Yes. Cold approach is the best thing. Capitalize on it and stand out from 99% of guys.

+ You gain social skills, charisma and more skills that you can use in other fields, including sales or networking with high status people.
+ You don't waste time swapping on Tinder and texting, only to be disappointed that the girl is fatter or uglier.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Tinder was Tits-on-Tap when I used it. A fantastic, game-changing experience. But. Like everything. Some love it. Others hate it. Do what works for you.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

.

My issue with OLD is the mentality of the men who uses those platforms.

Scenario 1: One day, while using OLD, a man sees an attractive woman. So, he decides to DM her.

Same guy in the next scenario...

Scenario 2: He sees the same woman from scenario 1, at a grocery store. However, he is too afraid to approach her.

Same people, slightly different circumstances, completely different mentalities.

In my opinion, if you are too afraid to cold approach a woman in person...then you should barred from OLD.

Of course, this will never happen...but you see where I'm going with it.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

.

My issue with OLD is the mentality of the men who uses those platforms.

Scenario 1: One day, while using OLD, a man sees an attractive woman. So, he decides to DM her.

Same guy in the next scenario...

Scenario 2: He sees the same woman from scenario 1, at a grocery store. However, he is too afraid to approach her.

Same people, slightly different circumstances, completely different mentalities.

In my opinion, if you are too afraid to cold approach a woman in person...then you should barred from OLD.

Of course, this will never happen...but you see where I'm going with it.

The problem with this analogy is that on OLD. For the guy to contact her, they'd need to match. Which means she's at least somewhat interested in him. Of course, CA, by definition, don't have this.

 

[CornbreadFed]

.

My issue with OLD is the mentality of the men who uses those platforms.

Scenario 1: One day, while using OLD, a man sees an attractive woman. So, he decides to DM her.

Same guy in the next scenario...

Scenario 2: He sees the same woman from scenario 1, at a grocery store. However, he is too afraid to approach her.

Same people, slightly different circumstances, completely different mentalities.

In my opinion, if you are too afraid to cold approach a woman in person...then you should barred from OLD.

Of course, this will never happen...but you see where I'm going with it.

With the girl in Scenario 1, you can at least conclude that she is single, emotionally available, and at least have a general idea of how her life is based on the photos. With the girl in Scenario 2, I have zero idea of what is going on in this girl's life. Her BF/Husband could be back in the store grabbing something else. She could have kids. She could be a single mom. She could be in a crappy mood. She could be purchasing a pregnancy test and going back to her trashed-up Nissan Rogue in the parking spot. There are too many unknowns for an outcome that will more than likely result in nothing.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

With the girl in Scenario 1, you can at least conclude that she is single

Really...because she identifies as single? Does her husband or boyfriend know?

Are you saying that some women don't use OLD and social media as a cheating outlet?

, emotionally available

Is she? What if the woman you matched using OLD, is a narcissist? What if she is mentally unstable?

and at least have a general idea of how her life is based on the photos.

Really, because she put on makeup and is dressed in club attire, and took a few selfies in the bathroom mirror, you have a general idea of her life?

Do you expect her to display pictures or images of her "lowlights"?

With the girl in Scenario 2, I have zero idea of what is going on in this girl's life.

All that matters during the initial phase of sexual courtship, is sexual attraction.

The other stuff is irrelevant.

Her BF/Husband could be back in the store grabbing something else.

Could be.

Just like the woman you matched with using OLD...her husband could be asleep on the couch...or at work...while you and her are exchanging messages and looking to link up.

She could have kids. She could be a single mom. She could be in a crappy mood. She could be purchasing a pregnancy test and going back to her trashed-up Nissan Rogue in the parking spot.
There are too many unknowns for an outcome that will more than likely result in nothing.

None of that should be of concern, if all you want is the puzzy.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Really...because she identifies as single? Does her husband or boyfriend know?

Are you saying that some women don't use OLD and social media as a cheating outlet?

She's on a dating app, it is reasonable to assume that the girl you matched with is single.

Is she? What if the woman you matched using OLD, is a narcissist? What if she is mentally unstable?

Then you find another girl that isn't a narcissist and is mentally stable

Really, because she put on makeup and is dressed in club attire, and took a few selfies in the bathroom mirror, you have a general idea of her life?

Do you expect her to display pictures or images of her "lowlights"?

Yeah, if her bio consists of bathroom selfie pics at a club, then I am going to assume she is a 304.

Could be.

Just like the woman you matched with using OLD...her husband could be asleep on the couch...or at work...while you and her are exchanging messages and looking to link up.

Maybe, but highly unlikely

None of that should be of concern, if all you want is the puzzy.

Are you in the business of fvcking women with STDs and mental issues?

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

She's on a dating app, it is reasonable to assume that the girl you matched with is single.

Sure.

Just like if you find yourself hooking up with a girl you met on a cold approach...it's safe to assume at that point, that you two obviously matched, isn't it?

Then you find another girl that isn't a narcissist and is mentally stable

Ohh, is it kinda like..OLD...where if you don't match with one woman, the search to find an match-mate continues?

It is the same concept, right?

Yeah, if her bio consists of bathroom selfie pics at a club, then I am going to assume she is a 304.

1. All women who take bathroom selfies at the club are 304's.

2. She takes a bathroom selfie at the club.

3. Therefore, she is a 304.

That is a non sequitur.

https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/non-sequitur

Are you in the business of fvcking women with STDs and mental issues?

No.

I'm not able to tell (immediately) whether a woman has an STD or mental issues on a cold approach.

But neither can you, using OLD.

That is the point.