"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Anyone see anything wrong with this email??

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I recently emailed this chick from a dating site...this is what was said between us:


My email(this is after she sent me a wink):


Hey!

What's goin' on? We'll have to talk...here's my number: *** *** ****,
or I'll call you, whichever. The phone is much easier. Sound
good?..you comfortable with that? Later. *Kiss*

"My name"




Her response:


Hey "My name"!

How are you? I have to admit I am little shy to call you first. My
screename is ******* @ Msn or Aol. maybe we can chit chat b4 I
call you. I'll give you my no. either way (***) ***-****

ttyl.

"Her name"

ps. do u have an account with Myspace?



You think I f**ked this up at all?? Sounds to me she might not be interested. Just want your imput. I think I migh've f**ked it up when I asked her "sound good?" and "you comfortable with that?" Feel I maybe didn't take enough charge because I asked her that. Thanks
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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flexion_

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Ya for the future just drop the clarifying questions. Assume its good with her then you won't keep asking.

You haven't burned any bridges - you have her e-mail and phone number. So go to it. :)
 

DoubleA

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Yeah.

I mean I've seen worse. It's all good.
 

rocky_mtn

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Call her first, call her when she's ready, never give her your number and ask her to call, unless she asks for your number.


But no, you didn't mess it up.

Get comfortable and familiar with each other then go for it.
 

amoka

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You're good to go. Call her by the surprise.... Read the Holy DJ Bible first if you need to..
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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flexion_ said:
Ya for the future just drop the clarifying questions. Assume its good with her then you won't keep asking.

You haven't burned any bridges - you have her e-mail and phone number. So go to it. :)

I think her saying she's "shy", is an excuse for her lack of interest. I say, if she was that interested she would want to talk on the phone. Speaking from my experience's, women will still give out their numbers(real number's that is) and screen names to guys they're not interested in.
 

wayword

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Remember the M3 Model:

Attraction
Rapport/Comfort
Seduction

You got attraction from your photo. However, you didn't establish rapport/comfort before asking for her #. Which is why she wanted to chat more online first.

However, as long as you do that on the phone, that'll work just as well.
 
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Another reason I don't thnk she's into me is cause she hasn't added me to her MySpace list yet. She asked me if I had a MySpace account, and I told her yes and gave her my url address, but she hasn't added me.
 
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Man, you have confidence issues.
I think it was Pook who said, "as you think, so you you will be" or something like that.
If you keep thinking that she's not that into you, then she's not that into you.
What you need to do is to think that she's interested in you. Hey, she's the one who winked first!
Give her a call. Don't ask her permission or anything. Once they're on the phone, you should be able to take care of it from there. Just tell her, "I'm calling to see if you're as good on the phone as online. Then if you're ok on the phone, your chance of being ok in person will be higher. Of course, you could still mess it up in person." or something like that.
 
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wayword said:
Remember the M3 Model:

Attraction
Rapport/Comfort
Seduction

You got attraction from your photo. However, you didn't establish rapport/comfort before asking for her #. Which is why she wanted to chat more online first.

However, as long as you do that on the phone, that'll work just as well.

Another reason I don't thnk she's into me is cause she hasn't added me to her MySpace list yet. She asked me if I had a MySpace account, and I told her yes and gave her my url address, but she hasn't added me.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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wayword

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MenAreBetterPeople said:
Another reason I don't thnk she's into me is cause she hasn't added me to her MySpace list yet. She asked me if I had a MySpace account, and I told her yes and gave her my url address, but she hasn't added me.
Again, because you haven't established rapport and escalated into comfort yet...

So, why would she add you as a "friend," when you're still basically a stranger?

Really, this is not rocket science - it's a very simple linear model.

NEXT STEP: RAPPORT/COMFORT!
 
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wayword said:
Again, because you haven't established rapport and escalated into comfort yet...

So, why would she add you as a "friend," when you're still basically a stranger?

Really, this is not rocket science - it's a very simple linear model.

NEXT STEP: RAPPORT/COMFORT!
If I haven't established the rapport and comfort level, and if I'm still a complete stranger, then why even ask me for my url?? Ask me for it after I establish rapport/comfort level.
 

wayword

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MenAreBetterPeople said:
If I haven't established the rapport and comfort level, and if I'm still a complete stranger, then why even ask me for my url?? Ask me for it after I establish rapport/comfort level.
Because she wanted to learn more about you by reading your profile! Because...again...you are still a stranger to her! No rapport...no comfort...no escalation...no seduction...no sex.

But if you can't see what step you're stuck at by now, I dunno what else to tell you..
 
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wayword said:
Because she wanted to learn more about you by reading your profile! Because...again...you are still a stranger to her! No rapport...no comfort...no escalation...no seduction...no sex.

But if you can't see what step you're stuck at by now, I dunno what else to tell you..

I hear ya..for some reason that didn't cross my mind.
 

SexPDX

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MenAreBetterPeople said:
Hey!

What's goin' on? We'll have to talk...here's my number: *** *** ****,
or I'll call you, whichever. The phone is much easier. Sound
good?..you comfortable with that? Later. *Kiss*

"My name"
I do think that you could have worded this better but it is not reasonable to assume that this e-mail has messed up your chances altogether.

Under these circumstances it is good to demonstrate an understanding that she may not be totally comfortable with the phone just yet, but making statements is better than adding TWO questions at the end. For example you might say, "If you'd feel comfortable with it, I'd like to call you...(etc,)," instead of laying out your plan and asking her approval at the end of everything.

EDIT: Any follow up on this situation?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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SexPDX said:
I do think that you could have worded this better but it is not reasonable to assume that this e-mail has messed up your chances altogether.

Under these circumstances it is good to demonstrate an understanding that she may not be totally comfortable with the phone just yet, but making statements is better than adding TWO questions at the end. For example you might say, "If you'd feel comfortable with it, I'd like to call you...(etc,)," instead of laying out your plan and asking her approval at the end of everything.

EDIT: Any follow up on this situation?
No, I haven't gotten a chance to chat with her on messeenger yet...I seen her signed on yesterday, but she had a "busy" sign next to her name...I could've sent her a "hi" anyway, but figured maybe that would be a bad idea. I'll sign on again today and see if I can chat with her. See, this is why I f**kin' hate messenger(aside from the fact that's it's hard to interpret each other)..it does nothing but delay the whole process..and it can f**k up your chances of hanging out with her. If she would've agreed to the phone, I would've already had plans with her for this weekend.
 
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SexPDX said:
I do think that you could have worded this better but it is not reasonable to assume that this e-mail has messed up your chances altogether.

Under these circumstances it is good to demonstrate an understanding that she may not be totally comfortable with the phone just yet, but making statements is better than adding TWO questions at the end. For example you might say, "If you'd feel comfortable with it, I'd like to call you...(etc,)," instead of laying out your plan and asking her approval at the end of everything.

EDIT: Any follow up on this situation?
Forgot to mention, she gave me her IM messenger screen name 2 days ago..I'm a little worried times running out, she might loose interest and forget about me if we don't chat by today. Pisses me off, I have a busy schedule, I don't have time to wait around to chat with some f**kin' chick, all because she decided she doesn't want to talk on the phone just yet. I don't sit by my computer all day. It can be days till I chat with her. What a bunch of horse sh*t!
 

MrLuvr

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OP, you sound like a complete, pathetic loser. She gave you her IM, she gave you her number. And you still haven't done a damn thing with it. All you can do is worry about whether she is interested or not. I sure hope she isn't interested. You are pathetic.
 
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MrLuvr said:
OP, you sound like a complete, pathetic loser. She gave you her IM, she gave you her number. And you still haven't done a damn thing with it. All you can do is worry about whether she is interested or not. I sure hope she isn't interested. You are pathetic.
What the **** are you talking about??? Yeah, she gave me her IM, and I added her, but in the last 2 days everytime I've signed in on messenger, she's either had "busy" next to her name or her "away" message. Not my fault! What the **** do you expect me to do??? And if you read the ****in thread carefully, she stated that she'd rather SPEAK THROUGH MESSENGER FIRST, as opposed to the phone.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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