I get where you're coming from and I agree that lately the mentality of this website has been straying from what's important. You should have much higher aspirations in your life than trying stick your **** into as many women as you can. Too many people here make it seem like picking up girls is number one on their agenda. Being a "player" isn't something that I strive to be. This website can change a man's life in an extremely positive way - one glance at my post history from 2006 is proof of that. There are a lot of valuable things here every man (in my opinion) should know about dealing with women, anyone who knows about this site is a cut above the vast majority of men out there.
However, there's also a lot of crap here. There's a lot of misogynistic bull**** here. This forum is polluted with bitter men who have been hurt in the past and sadistic guys who want to learn how to manipulate women. If you're using this website to learn how to pickup women, you are doing it wrong. It's not about picking up women - women are secondary - it's about learning how to be a man, because in this increasingly feminized culture it seems we have all but forgot. It's about self improvement, it's about learning the confidence and the frame of thinking that will improve every single part of your life. It's about knowing what you want and working towards achieving it. It's about setting your sights on your dream, no matter how impossible, and achieving it. A man does not slither around, manipulating girls to sleep with him, saying things they want to hear, going behind their backs and devaluing his word. A man attracts women effortlessly because he is strong, confident, charismatic, intelligent, he knows what he wants, and because he is a genuinely good person. He is the perfect combination of the jerk and the nice guy - he treats women with respect until they give him reason otherwise. That's a goal I work towards every day, bit by bit. I'm not expecting it to come easy, I'm sure that it's almost required that you go through several different "phases" of mindset before you have the experience to embrace the endgame.
But seriously, how fortunate are we that women are attracted to the exact same qualities that make us successful in life? A woman can get implants to make herself more attractive to men, but that doesn't extend much further than that. A man can improve his self-esteem, confidence, which makes him more attractive to women, but at the same time it opens all kinds of new doors for him in other areas of his life because he has those traits. When I first came to this site five years ago, my only goal was to stop being so awkward around women. I had no idea that it would not only improve my success with girls tenfold, but help me influence people, make friends, tackle interviews, succeed in jobs, nail speeches, helped believe in myself - you ****ing name it.
All this kino/negging/c&f stuff - they are great guidelines and they're important to be mindful of, but be wary that there is a fine line. If you take all of it too seriously it can be self destructive. You sabotage yourself to a life where dating and the interactions accompanying it become artificial - there is no more magic when you have it down to a science. Pickup artists like Mystery disgust me, what man dedicates his life solely to seducing women? And yet I can't help but feel sorry for him - he's probably absolutely miserable.
But there are a lot of individuals on this website that get what I'm talking about, and that's what keeps me coming back long after I stopped caring about when to neg or how much I should kino. There are some really wise and intelligent people here. Men from all different ages and backgrounds: free-thinkers, who embrace their masculinity, who ask questions, who are the innovators, who live fulfilling lives, and who "get it". It's like a Fight Club chatroom. If you frequent this forum and you don't venture outside of the "Don Juan Discussion" or "Don Juan Tips" boards and into the "Anything Else" and "Health & Fitness" boards you're doing yourself an incredible disservice.
While I consider myself above average than the average guy when it comes to success with women, I'm always still learning. If I have a relationship question or a question about women, I always come here first. If I want to talk about self improvement, I always come here first. If I want to open a discussion about the power of one's state of mind and get serious, thought-provoking responses, this is the place. This is the one place I can go (aside from a few real life friends) to where I'll get answers from people who I know are credible, have experience, and who have a similar mindset that I can relate to. This place is a goldmine if you use it right.
