Anyone lost their parents at a young age?

[Robert28]

I was just wondering if anyone had lost one of their parents (or both) at a young age. I'm only 33 now but my dad died about a month before my 32nd birthday (last summer) so technically he died when I was 31. Anyways, is it still hard for any of you even a year later? What I mean is since he died I really haven't been interested in working out like I used to(still do it just not that into it anymore), I don't really party on the weekends anymore, I find myself not really interested in women and not wanting to date. I mean the absolute hottest girl with the best personality ever could walk up to me and start flirting with me and I'd most likely roll my eyes and walk off. I don't really pursue women anymore, well at least in the past year I haven't. The ironic thing is I'm attracting more women in the past year then I have in a long time, what gives???

This isn't really a post about women, just wondering how some of ya'll with similar experiences dealt with it. I only have my mom left now as I don't have any grandparents anymore and I d@mn sure don't have much to do with extended family because we just don't get along. You won't find a more independent guy then me, trust me. I do have a lot of friends though, A LOT. I'm just not one of those "family oriented" guys that women want because all the people that I got along with in my family have died, I get along great with my mom though but like I said that's all I get along with as far as family goes.

 

[logicallefty]

I lost my dad in 2002 when I was 28. Yes, it gets a little easier but after 12 years there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him. I used to call him on my way home from work almost everyday in the exact same spot like clockwork, and we would talk the remaining 20 minutes until I got home. 5 years after he was gone I still occasionally caught myself reaching for the phone to call him when I hit that spot.

To be a brief as possible, sense 1999 I have lost my grampa, my dad, got left by my first wife and went through a custody battle for my daughter, had to put my grandma in a nursing home on my dad's behalf because grandchildren are next of kin (and she doesn't even remember my name now), married a crazy bigamist and went through a major catastrophy in 2012 and almost lost everything. (Would have been easier to get through with my dad's support but my mother helped a lot). Then within the past 5 weeks my mother had a stroke but is recovering. On top of that, we found out that my step dad has cancer and will die within 1 year at the most. So I feel a lot like you I think. I have had so much family come and go from my life that I have just accepted that family is temporary and there may be a day when I have absolutely nobody left. I am still somewhat "family oriented" and am very close to my mother but I know the day is coming where I won't have her either.


Sounds like you need to ask yourself a pretty basic question, what would your dad want? How would he want you to live your life today. Would he want you working out and going out with women? I imagine he would. And yeah its funny how when you could give two sh|ts less about women they sense it and want you more. They can sense that sh|t like a dog sniffing a steak. That is as normal as the sun rising.

I have to get back to work but can talk more later. I guess in summary YES it gets easier but NO your feelings for your dad will never go away.

 

[Colossus]

I lost my mother at age 13.

Losing a parent at a relatively young age is a life-changing event. You can consider yourself somewhat fortunate that you are an adult man and have the mental and emotional capability to process such an event in a healthy way.

Take my advice and do NOT postpone dealing with the feelings or bury them deep down to avoid them. This will cause massive problems in your life you cannot imagine. If you need to, get a good counselor to guide you through the grief in a normal way. It sounds like this may be a good idea for you at this point.

I haven't found friends to be good "counselors" because in adulthood most people cannot divert their attention long enough to actually be a good LISTENER and offer any genuine advice or support. It's unfortunate but unless you are lucky enough to have a mentor who can provide this undivided attention and unbiased counsel, you are going to have to pay a professional who does it for a living. There's nothing wrong with that, but it is a sad reality of modern times.

Anyways, there was a time about 4 years ago when I had a moment of spiritual clarity from God, and I was able to be at peace with my mother's passing. Mind you this was about 15 years later. I'm not saying it will take you 15 years, but you are going to have to get your feelings out somehow---through writing and talking---or they will further manifest into anger and depression like they are now.

 

[Mike32ct]

Lost mom when I was 27.

 

[zekko]

My dad died when I was 15. Hard to believe that was nearly 40 years ago. He was a good man, but I can't say we were particularly close. I think I was just getting to the age when I would have started to appreciate his insights and relate to him more when he passed on. I felt a little guilty that I wasn't a better son to him, I was disrespectful at times.

 

[Stagger Lee]

Not at a very young age but I lost my dad about 4 years ago. My parents are much older than me. Almost lost my mom over the past year but she pulled through. I feel for you guys that lost a parent, it's quite a shock.