Anyone just give up?

[Malcontent]

I made the decision many years ago that I wouldn't get married. The cons heavily outweigh the pros.

I thought I'd get an LTR with a good looking woman and be set. But they eventually "divorce" you too. My last one hurt the worst. That ended 2 years ago and I haven't had any woman since.

From my experiences up to this point (and including the culmination of stories of friends, family, this forum, etc.), I should expect most relationships to eventually fail. This leaves the remaining options in regard to sexual relationships with women: Either just do ONSes, or have a GF with the knowledge that it will end eventually.

I have problems with both of these setups -- ONS = STD risk, pregnancy risk, possibility of a rape charge; GF = investment and eventual loss, crushing of spirit. I realize everything carries some risk, but I reckon I'm not interested in risking these things anymore.

Maybe this is how the MGTOW thing starts. Other than noticing when a hot chick is in my vicinity, I've just become indifferent to women.

I don't want to entertain them. I don't want to charm them. I don't want to compliment them. I don't want to give them my attention.

It feels kind of sad, but I guess it's how I am now.

 

[logicallefty]

Adopting this mindset has been what has saved me from totally giving up. Give it some thought

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=221281

 

[jimjam]

Two weeks is the most you can reasonably expect any relationship to maintain a level of comfort before the mask comes off. She s on drugs, an alkie, married, has five kids, was locked up, etc, etc.

Milan Kundera had a great philosophy in The Unbearable Lightness of Being. You bang them 3x in quick succession and end it or you date them and bang them over a period of 3 months and then end it. He called this the rule of threes.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Adopting this mindset has been what has saved me from totally giving up. Give it some thought

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=221281

Great mindset. Thanks for linking. Missed it the first time. Priceless.

 

[Cloudtopsun2100]

I have a GF and to me it lowers risks, shes great and if she keeps it up I might give her the golden ticket (not golden shower, ha). Personally I might get some negative points for this but I think having a gf and occasionally getting some on the side is a better setup than say going ballistic with the ONS (high risk involved, false accusations, stds, stalkers etc). MLTR are ok but the girls always leave the stable when someone comes in to lock them down.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

My 7 year LTR split-up was painful but it didn't it stop me from moving on. Pain is temporary, everything I have been in after that barely compares to it.

2 years celibate yeah that would make me sad.

But I do hear you, you sound content.......but yet sad. Do what makes you happy man.

Logical hit it spot on!

 

[Bible_Belt]

I plant a garden every spring, even though I know it's all going to die the following winter. What matters is what you make in the time you have.

I'm divorced. It upset me at the time, and I also went two years shunning women. I felt like a failure, but now looking back, I would not have done anything differently. I still talk to my ex-wife occasionally, and we still care about each other as people. Neither of us would be the people we are today without the time we shared together, both good and bad. A relationship can end without that relationship being a failure.

 

[Tenacity]

I made the decision many years ago that I wouldn't get married. The cons heavily outweigh the pros.

I thought I'd get an LTR with a good looking woman and be set. But they eventually "divorce" you too. My last one hurt the worst. That ended 2 years ago and I haven't had any woman since.

From my experiences up to this point (and including the culmination of stories of friends, family, this forum, etc.), I should expect most relationships to eventually fail. This leaves the remaining options in regard to sexual relationships with women: Either just do ONSes, or have a GF with the knowledge that it will end eventually.

I have problems with both of these setups -- ONS = STD risk, pregnancy risk, possibility of a rape charge; GF = investment and eventual loss, crushing of spirit. I realize everything carries some risk, but I reckon I'm not interested in risking these things anymore.

Maybe this is how the MGTOW thing starts. Other than noticing when a hot chick is in my vicinity, I've just become indifferent to women.

I don't want to entertain them. I don't want to charm them. I don't want to compliment them. I don't want to give them my attention.

It feels kind of sad, but I guess it's how I am now.

I'm right here with you man. I wouldn't call it "giving up" though, more like creating a NEW REALITY.

- For example, I'm not going to a buy a House, for reasons that are detailed but to sum up are mainly due to wanting to remain mobile for career/job opportunities as well as my desire to ONLY stay in Suburb areas with low crime and without a lot of ghetto/ratchet/trailer trash pieces of shyt. Being mobile allows me to MOVE easily if the area goes to hell or if I have better opportunities elsewhere, plus predicting if my House Investment will retain its value or increase or decrease its value, is something that is so hard to predict it's crazy.

- In this case, I would be redefining my "American Dream," which wouldn't include being a Home Owner but other things (educated, having XYZ amount of assets, having XYZ fico score, having XYZ line of credit availability, staying in XYZ area, driving XYZ car, etc.)

- So coming back to the topic, I think us Gen Y men (and you Gen X guys also) need to start looking at redefining what we call our "relationships" with women. We need to take a serious look at Marriage and Creating Children in this climate and ask ourselves, IS THE SHYT WORTH IT? Are the benefits better than the costs? Are the benefits better than the drawbacks? If you create children, WILL you even be able to Father them with the political correct society you have today? Does "The One" or "Your Soulmate" even fvcking exist? Does "a quality chick" even exist anymore?

We have to ask these questions and STOP just making pre-determined decisions and having pre-determined views on relationships based on how society was "back then" with the Baby Boomers for example. OUR NEW REALITY is nothing like it was during the time of Baby Boomers, we have challenges, issues, career/job problems, political/social problems, etc., that they didn't have.

Combine all of this with the fact that America is becoming more and more far left, where I would easily say the country is a Center Left country as we stand today....as we continue to get more minorities coming to the country, America is going to be a totally LEFTIST country before you know it and your entire DEFINITION of masculinity will be something totally different.

We really need to sit down and look at these new realities. I have set myself up with No Wife, No Children, and No House....but with a solid Career in place, money in the bank, business assets and solid credit, so I can remain MOBILE and FREE to move. I think that's the new American Dream for our Generation...MOBILITY.

 

[logicallefty]

^^^ ^^^

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Tenacity again.

I have came to the exact same realization but only within the past 6-8 months in full. I've been through he|_|_ multiple times over the past 20 years, no need to repost it is stuff I have posted about before (ex: marrying a bigamist). I now have a house and a high paying stable job in my home area where I was born and raised that competes with anything in the country as far as pay and stability goes... But if I had to do it again, my whole drive as an adult would have gone a completely different direction. I too was driving for what the last generation (my parents) taught me based on their reality, not the reality we actually have today. Even 10 years ago as a 30 year old adult if you would have tried to convince me of what today's reality is, I wouldn't have believed you. It's sick guys, it's absolutely sick. We should all feel glad that we here on SS are the ELITE in these times. WE GET IT. God help those other 95% that never will and will keep striving for that old reality...

 

[Malcontent]

On the house thing, I used to always think renting was best because of the mobility thing. But now I'd like to buy some acreage so I can have a guaranteed buffer around me. Where I live now is on 10+ acres and I dig it, but it's not mine. I like never having solicitors, never hearing the loud pickup truck drive past my house at 6 am, never listening to drunk neighbors, and it's nice to be able to take a piss in my yard without getting the cops called. It is a trap in some ways, but freedom in others.

But with chicks, I just don't have the drive anymore. Don't get me wrong -- I'm horny. I'd like to hold a woman in my arms. To have a woman's presence. But it's all just fantasy anymore.

Maybe I just need a break from these h0es. It just feels weird.

 

[Cheeks]

Giving up is really the only victory in life. Everything else is a futile struggle to the top of the plateau. When you get there, you realize there's nothing on top but a bucket and a mop, to quote a favorite song.

 

[rugby11]

Don't give up. Move in a new direction...
Journal your ideals and talk to people in person who you can find around you.

 

[Tenacity]

On the house thing, I used to always think renting was best because of the mobility thing. But now I'd like to buy some acreage so I can have a guaranteed buffer around me. Where I live now is on 10+ acres and I dig it, but it's not mine. I like never having solicitors, never hearing the loud pickup truck drive past my house at 6 am, never listening to drunk neighbors, and it's nice to be able to take a piss in my yard without getting the cops called. It is a trap in some ways, but freedom in others.

But with chicks, I just don't have the drive anymore. Don't get me wrong -- I'm horny. I'd like to hold a woman in my arms. To have a woman's presence. But it's all just fantasy anymore.

Maybe I just need a break from these h0es. It just feels weird.

On the house thing, I made some listings in another thread that I can link if you want. But basically I don't see how Real Estate is this GREAT investment anymore due to the changing landscape of the economy.

It was (or could be) a good investment for prior Generations due to the stability of the economic and job market. You would be working in one position, in one city, in one company, for 25-30 years until retirement. As a result, that created a lot of stability which means that buying a house in the long term (after 10 years for example) could turn out to be a return on investment.

Today, with the fact that the job market is such to where one of the MAIN competitive advantages is being MOBILE....buying a house would make no sense if you probably won't be in one area longer than 10 years. You might have to live in Michigan for 7 years, move to TX for 10 years, move to FL for the next 7 years, move to NC for 10 years and maybe move BACK to Michigan for the rest of your life. With this type of situation, buying a house would be a FINANCIAL LOSS more than likely.

 

[Julian]

i dont get tired. never give up ever. no matter what. always some heavenly blessed beautys out there to be with bro

 

[RangerMIke]

Any time you start feeling that anything is not worth the time or effort, you should always think....

Time is going to pass anyway and eventually time runs out. Everyone dies... don't be on your death bed wishing you had done things differently. What is the worst that can happen if you get back in the game? The worst is that you are right were you are now, but at least you will have some self-respect that you took steps to make something happen.

 

[Tenacity]

Any time you start feeling that anything is not worth the time or effort, you should always think....

Time is going to pass anyway and eventually time runs out. Everyone dies... don't be on your death bed wishing you had done things differently. What is the worst that can happen if you get back in the game? The worst is that you are right were you are now, but at least you will have some self-respect that you took steps to make something happen.

You guys have to realize that dealing with women today brings A LOT of drawbacks to it that if you aren't careful, will cripple you financially and professionally, and might even fvck with your freedom.

A good amount of guys on this forum are aware of this fact, while there's still too many that can't seem to realize that this market is HORRIBLE. They seem to think all you need to do is work on yourself and become this ultra "Don Juan" or "Catch" or whatever, but it's just not CUT and dry like that.

Working on yourself to be the best you can be is one thing and you ought to be striving for that due to your own personal motivation. But just because you are the BEST you can be.......that does NOT mean that the market of women will all of a sudden begin behaving at THEIR BEST.

Take a look at my boy ZTime for example, as a Man how much more GOOD can you get in terms of having your shyt together? And he STILL got fvcked over by a psycho chick, because working on yourself DOES NOT change the behavior of other people. AT some point you guys are going to have to place the responsibility on women to get their shyt together JUST LIKE you keep preaching that to us Men.

 

[speed dawg]

Don't give up, bro. You really CAN'T give up. If you do, THEY win.

There are many guys on this site who have chosen not to get married, have kids, etc. Most of them have thought long and hard about it and decided it was what they wanted because it was best for them. More power to them. But make no mistake, they went through the process of bettering themselves, but in the time/rejections/learning/unplugging/etc., THEN made their decision.

Don't make your decisions based on some present frustrations. They will pass.

 

[ZTIME]

Take a look at my boy ZTime for example, as a Man how much more GOOD can you get in terms of having your shyt together? And he STILL got fvcked over by a psycho chick, because working on yourself DOES NOT change the behavior of other people. AT some point you guys are going to have to place the responsibility on women to get their shyt together JUST LIKE you keep preaching that to us Men.

Thanks for the vote of confidence. I'm probably a bad example as far as it pertains to "giving up". In my professional life I've been able to excel to great levels, but that was because I was as 'Alpha" as possible as it pertains to business. In my relationship life I allowed myself to be very Beta, I allowed myself to adjust my "frame" to incorporate the goals of others.

You are absolutely right about women needing to take responsibility of their own shyt. However there are still a lot of beta guys out there that allow these women to walk around with a huge sense of entitlement. Hell, I was one of them. I was just lucky enough to have the means to take the hit.

I learned. I hope everyone here learns just as much from all of the free knowledge provided here for you on SS. Dig deep. There's lots to find.

 

[Tenacity]

Thanks for the vote of confidence. I'm probably a bad example as far as it pertains to "giving up". In my professional life I've been able to excel to great levels, but that was because I was as 'Alpha" as possible as it pertains to business. In my relationship life I allowed myself to be very Beta, I allowed myself to adjust my "frame" to incorporate the goals of others.

You are absolutely right about women needing to take responsibility of their own shyt. However there are still a lot of beta guys out there that allow these women to walk around with a huge sense of entitlement. Hell, I was one of them. I was just lucky enough to have the means to take the hit.

I learned. I hope everyone here learns just as much from all of the free knowledge provided here for you on SS. Dig deep. There's lots to find.

I totally agree that you let that chick do things that you shouldn't have, but here's my point though, isn't she a damn adult?

Doesn't she know right from wrong? Doesn't she know that the way SHE acted (no matter if you didn't stand your ground or NOT) is wrong?

I'm tired of women getting a pass for being an a.ss, hiding behind this notion that, "Welp, if the guy just let's me walk all over him and do fvcked up shyt to him, then it's his fault!"

No chick, it's your fault! You are a damn adult, you know right from wrong, and you need to take fvcking responsibility for YOUR ACTIONS. I don't care if you have some SIMP offering the world to her, it's her responsibility as an adult with some level of integrity to DECLINE the SIMP's offer.

That's why my trust and just overall respect for women as a whole is through the floor. It's like some sneaky Sales Guy putting some fvcked up lingo deep into the Terms and Conditions of a Contract for a client, then after the client signs it (knowing the client probably didn't fully understand the lingo), the sneaky Sales Guy HOOKS the client for some type of additional fee or service charge that they didn't understand.....HIDING behind the notion that, "Welp, he should have read his contract." That's bullshyt, as a Sales Guy you should have some fvcking Integrity NOT to do sneaky shyt like that.

Women are like snake oil salesmen to me today, I'm really starting to grow an inner hatred towards them the more and more and MORE I see through the bullshyt. Everything out of their mouths are a fvcking lie, this market is the WORSE market of women ever.

 

[Zarky]

OP, "life is a series of hellos and goodbyes." Get used to it. Breakups are like pulling hairs out of your nutsack... at first it hurts like hell but after you do it enough times you can barely feel it.