I might get married in the next 2-3 years. Are any of you in a bad relationship and want to talk about the pros and cons of being in one? I've had a lot of flings for the past 10 years but nothing serious with a woman.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Anyone in a bad relationship?
- Thread starter skinnyguy
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
btownbuck2012
Master Don Juan
The only pros are a quick boost to your ego that is really nothing of substance or value and will ultimately set you back in your overall progression as a man.
Any type of red flag you notice early on should be thoroughly taken into consideration before you allow yourself to get emotionally invested in or bond with someone who you know deep down inside of yourself that you shouldn't be associating with. Where guys get tripped up, and this is including myself, is thinking that you'll know when to pull the ejection cord and get outta there unscathed. The sex on demand and admiration you'll get from someone early on is not worth the destruction and devastation that awaits you if you choose to remain involved with someone who isn't going to be a good fit for a long term relationship.
The reason people stay in "bad" long term relationships is because they desperately want that Disney fantasy to be a reality for them. And I'm not trying to come across holier than thou here because that's something that I want to - however trying to force or project ideal qualities that you desire onto a woman who you know has issues or is exhibiting red flags that you are uncomfortable with can only hurt you long term. But again, this is really hard, much more so than is given credit on this forum.
True, healthy self esteem is figuring yourself out so that you can easily walk away from a low quality woman even if she is taken with you. You've got to work on yourself and get to the point where you refuse to put up with any bad behavior or low quality partners. This will probably mean being alone more often and facing some hard truths about yourself and what type of future you want, but I'd rather be in that boat than struggling with infidelity, divorce, legal trouble, mental breakdowns, etc. that low quality women will bring into your life..even if it's a while down the road before any of it happens.
Any type of red flag you notice early on should be thoroughly taken into consideration before you allow yourself to get emotionally invested in or bond with someone who you know deep down inside of yourself that you shouldn't be associating with. Where guys get tripped up, and this is including myself, is thinking that you'll know when to pull the ejection cord and get outta there unscathed. The sex on demand and admiration you'll get from someone early on is not worth the destruction and devastation that awaits you if you choose to remain involved with someone who isn't going to be a good fit for a long term relationship.
The reason people stay in "bad" long term relationships is because they desperately want that Disney fantasy to be a reality for them. And I'm not trying to come across holier than thou here because that's something that I want to - however trying to force or project ideal qualities that you desire onto a woman who you know has issues or is exhibiting red flags that you are uncomfortable with can only hurt you long term. But again, this is really hard, much more so than is given credit on this forum.
True, healthy self esteem is figuring yourself out so that you can easily walk away from a low quality woman even if she is taken with you. You've got to work on yourself and get to the point where you refuse to put up with any bad behavior or low quality partners. This will probably mean being alone more often and facing some hard truths about yourself and what type of future you want, but I'd rather be in that boat than struggling with infidelity, divorce, legal trouble, mental breakdowns, etc. that low quality women will bring into your life..even if it's a while down the road before any of it happens.