I might get married in the next 2-3 years. Are any of you in a bad relationship and want to talk about the pros and cons of being in one? I've had a lot of flings for the past 10 years but nothing serious with a woman.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Anyone in a bad relationship?
- Thread starter skinnyguy
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
btownbuck2012
Master Don Juan
The only pros are a quick boost to your ego that is really nothing of substance or value and will ultimately set you back in your overall progression as a man.
Any type of red flag you notice early on should be thoroughly taken into consideration before you allow yourself to get emotionally invested in or bond with someone who you know deep down inside of yourself that you shouldn't be associating with. Where guys get tripped up, and this is including myself, is thinking that you'll know when to pull the ejection cord and get outta there unscathed. The sex on demand and admiration you'll get from someone early on is not worth the destruction and devastation that awaits you if you choose to remain involved with someone who isn't going to be a good fit for a long term relationship.
The reason people stay in "bad" long term relationships is because they desperately want that Disney fantasy to be a reality for them. And I'm not trying to come across holier than thou here because that's something that I want to - however trying to force or project ideal qualities that you desire onto a woman who you know has issues or is exhibiting red flags that you are uncomfortable with can only hurt you long term. But again, this is really hard, much more so than is given credit on this forum.
True, healthy self esteem is figuring yourself out so that you can easily walk away from a low quality woman even if she is taken with you. You've got to work on yourself and get to the point where you refuse to put up with any bad behavior or low quality partners. This will probably mean being alone more often and facing some hard truths about yourself and what type of future you want, but I'd rather be in that boat than struggling with infidelity, divorce, legal trouble, mental breakdowns, etc. that low quality women will bring into your life..even if it's a while down the road before any of it happens.
Any type of red flag you notice early on should be thoroughly taken into consideration before you allow yourself to get emotionally invested in or bond with someone who you know deep down inside of yourself that you shouldn't be associating with. Where guys get tripped up, and this is including myself, is thinking that you'll know when to pull the ejection cord and get outta there unscathed. The sex on demand and admiration you'll get from someone early on is not worth the destruction and devastation that awaits you if you choose to remain involved with someone who isn't going to be a good fit for a long term relationship.
The reason people stay in "bad" long term relationships is because they desperately want that Disney fantasy to be a reality for them. And I'm not trying to come across holier than thou here because that's something that I want to - however trying to force or project ideal qualities that you desire onto a woman who you know has issues or is exhibiting red flags that you are uncomfortable with can only hurt you long term. But again, this is really hard, much more so than is given credit on this forum.
True, healthy self esteem is figuring yourself out so that you can easily walk away from a low quality woman even if she is taken with you. You've got to work on yourself and get to the point where you refuse to put up with any bad behavior or low quality partners. This will probably mean being alone more often and facing some hard truths about yourself and what type of future you want, but I'd rather be in that boat than struggling with infidelity, divorce, legal trouble, mental breakdowns, etc. that low quality women will bring into your life..even if it's a while down the road before any of it happens.