"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Anyone have experience dating a BPD woman?

soxfan52

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What are some of the signs to look for? This woman has a lot of abandonment and abuse issues from the past. Her dad walked out when she was 6 and had an ex bf date rape her and another hit her then walk out on her when she got pregnant. She texts me all the time, very clingy, very jealous.

She doesnt have rages at all like a lot of BPD people do she is very passive aggressive.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Die Hard

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Yeah, I have tons of experience...

You seem to be convinced she is BPD already, so why ask us? Your description of her contains multiple red flags, anyway. Get the fukk away from her NOW, this woman is trouble and if you're stupid enough to go on with her, you will be sorry.
 

Bluntmaster

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But the sex is great so he will stick around to get raped by her emotionally.

Have fun buddy!
 

jophil28

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IF you have already "diagnosed" her with BPD, then you know enough about the signs and symptoms and what to look for .
MY question is - why not just walk away before you become enmeshed in her craziness ?

( We probably do not need a fresh 20 page BPD thread in which you chronicle her daily antics and tell us about how hurt you are .)

Eject now.
 

Bluntmaster

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jophil28 said:
MY question is - why not just walk away before you become enmeshed in her craziness ?
The sex.

Nevermind she did the same thing with 100 other dudes.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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st_99

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Ask yourself if you're ready and ok with finding her in bed with your friend, neighbor, or brother. If the answer is yes, then go ahead and keep seeing her, if the answer is no, run and don't look back.

Trust me.

But you won't listen and you'll remember this post and say, damn, he was right.
 

Buddha_Mind

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Look man -- consider this -- she may be loading you with attention but there are reasons for that. She may be needing someone to be her direction in life -- and some girls are into abuse, although they won't straight out admit it, they cling to situations of abuse (even more likely if their fathers were abusive).

Some try to change her. This will lead to insanity.

Find a woman who has her mind together.

But there are also some men who are drawn to the emotional ups and downs that women like this bring into their life.
 

betheman

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she may or may not be BPD, but if she is, and you hang around, you will be compromising your own mental health. the sex maybe awesome, use that for what it is but dont get hooked
 

Paintballguy

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****ing run like hell! You can't fix crazy. Trust me I tried like lots of other guys.
 

lightofhatred

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BPD's are so addictive man "/
Totally worth it tho; other girls are so BORING compared to them. Oh well we all have our own tastes ;)
I reckon totally do it; it's very enjoyable experience. The hardest part is finding another BPD when shes gone :(

Oh and her ex-bf didn't rape her lul
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Revolt

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if she is legit BPD, her behavior won't stay stable. She may not rage now, but something small will set her off to severe depression or mania.

I dated one for 8 months. Starts off very needy, tries to wear you down over time, will never get over their men issues, tend to lie and mislead a lot.

Eventually found out she spent last month sleeping with another guy and me at the same time. She dropped him and begged me to stay with her but I threw her to the curb. Said she was just filled with so much rage towards me (and I never did **** to this girl, I treated her great, you will never be treating them good enough though) that she did it to hurt me. Beware as these kind of behaviors are normal.

Drugs and support will not fix them, their broken for life (if they are legit BPD), no joke. Pump her and dump her, or you'll end up regretting it.

EDIT: and the guy who said she will emotionally rape you is right. I had never in my 23 years EVER been depressed or self loathing until I met this girl. She dragged me into it so ****ing deep. Thankfully I rebounded to my old self as soon as she hit the curb.
 
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