"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Anyone have a background in psychology?

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Zarky

Master Don Juan
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I have an undergrad degree in psych and cognitive science from a highly ranked US university. One of my former TAs is working in Germany designing a computer that can read brain EEGs and allow handicapped people to type by thinking of the letters.

This 'attachment styles' or whatever it's called is pure pop-psych self-help stuff that's not taught in any reputable college.

I'm not saying it's false, I'm just saying that people who specialize in psychology aren't going to be able to help you with this. It's a cute model of some types of behavior but nothing remarkable or incredibly insightful.
 
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