Anyone had a girl not attracted to you via online dating?

[SoSerene]

The past 2 dates I had I'm almost certain the girls weren't attracted to me, or at the very least weren't overly attracted physically.

Girl #1 shows up, looks about the same as her photos. When I ask her what she's having to drink, she makes an excuse how she doesn't usually drink alcohol on weekdays...despite the fact that when I confirmed earlier in the day she replied "Yes drinks at 8 ". The "date" went pretty well conversationally, everything was going fine and she didn't make any excuses to leave which girls often do if they aren't interested.

We went for a walk after and had a nice convo, but when I went to kiss close I got a really adverse reaction like "What are you doing...?" which seemed really strange but whatever. I asked her out again, not expecting much, and she said she doesn't think it would work between us and that was that. I put 2+2 together and figured when you combine the fact that she suddenly decided she wasn't going to have drinks when we first introduced ourselves, and seemed so against a kiss close which seemed out of place...it's not hard to assume that she wasn't attracted to me in the first place.

Girl #2 was HOT. Looked much better than her photos, great career one of the hottest chicks I've been out with. Figured this wasn't going to go well lol. But, to my surprise the date went great, we had a solid connection and she totally lost track of time and ended up staying out way later than she intended. Got a small kiss close at the end, but when I texted her the next day she responded saying we had a good conversation but didn't feel a "romantic connection" which obviously means she wasn't attracted to me enough physically.

I wasn't necessarily expecting to go far with this chick as she's pretty damn hot, and I'm a 5'9'' dude who's pale, especially considering her minimum height requirements were 5'11'' I'm surprised she wanted to go out in the first place.

But I guess I am disappointed at the results of the these dates despite having a decent conversation in the first date, and a strong connection in the 2nd. I feel like my photos aren't misleading, it's not like I have bad skin/acne I'm hiding with a flash. I'm not some fat guy taking pics at a weird angle. I take photos that present myself well, but nothing that I feel is over the top or misrepresents me. Yet I feel like these girls weren't that physically attracted to me despite wanting to meet up.

This doesn't happen every online date I go on, as I've had some attractive women want to go on 2nd-3rd-4th dates, and commented positive about my appearance on the 2nd date or in between dates. But I feel like there is definitely a percentage of women I've met, including the last two, that were more attracted to my photos than what I actually look like in real life.

Assuming no active efforts to take flattering photos, is this normal...?

 

[J Roc]

This doesn't happen every online date I go on, as I've had some attractive women want to go on 2nd-3rd-4th dates, and commented positive about my appearance on the 2nd date or in between dates. But I feel like there is definitely a percentage of women I've met, including the last two, that were more attracted to my photos than what I actually look like in real life.

Are you ****ing most of these women that you are taking on 4-5 dates? If not you need to stop wastin gyour money on dates and focus on your game so you arent wasting money on chicks looking for free meals/drinks.

 

[SoSerene]

Are you ****ing most of these women that you are taking on 4-5 dates? If not you need to stop wastin gyour money on dates and focus on your game so you arent wasting money on chicks looking for free meals/drinks.

Yes. Usually get laid on either dates 2 or 3. Occasionally a ONS and sometimes takes 4 or 5 dates, but on average just a few nights out and I'm banging them at my place.

 

[captain55]

Do you dress well? How is your posture? Do you have a feminine voice for a guy?


and sure it's normal, not every chick is going to find you attractive. Remember scent plays a large role in attraction as well, women are only attracted to men with different immune system genes then themselves.

 

[El Payaso]

Many things happen to a woman in between the time you ask her out and the the time of the actual date. For example, she is still talking to other guys and she might have met a guy she finds more attractive before your date.

She might have had a bad day at work, school or whatever and is depressed.

She might have been enamored to your 2d online personality where everything is flat but your real life personality wasn't as attractive to her.

There are so many factors. Not every girl will find you attractive. It's not a big deal.

 

[Comatozed]

I feel like i'm too chirpy and ****y over text and then irl i'm more reserevd and that's a stumbling block. IDK what to do though because my ext game is good enough to get all these dates. I think i'm going to work on improving my irl persona rather than being more boring over text.

 

[Mike32ct]

Passing the photo test still doesn't guarantee that you will pass her "looks test" in person.

In person, she's analyzing your looks and/look under 300x magnification.

So, you're not doing anything wrong. This is a common problem. Just keep meeting women and invest as little $ in each one as possible until you are sure she's attracted.

 

[SoSerene]

Do you dress well? How is your posture? Do you have a feminine voice for a guy?


and sure it's normal, not every chick is going to find you attractive. Remember scent plays a large role in attraction as well, women are only attracted to men with different immune system genes then themselves.

I dress fine and clean up well, yeah. I don't have the most masculine voice so that could play a role with certain women. Not that I sound overtly feminine or anything, but on the spectrum of male voices it would be less masculine than average for sure.

Passing the photo test still doesn't guarantee that you will pass her "looks test" in person.

In person, she's analyzing your looks and/look under 300x magnification.

So, you're not doing anything wrong. This is a common problem. Just keep meeting women and invest as little $ in each one as possible until you are sure she's attracted.

Right, this makes the most sense to me. I think I've done fine with a lot of their "looks analyzing" in person, but there is definitely a percentage that changed their mind after taking a closer look. Glad to know this isn't unheard of, but it's also amusing when people try to downplay looks when when these types of issues occur.

And one thing I've improved a lot on this year, is investing a lot less initial dates. What I'm doing more and more is just grabbing a coffee, and if I feel a connection/attraction then I'll go grab a drink or two with her. I'm also doing it for myself as well cause we've all been in a scenario where we weren't as attracted to her as we thought we would be. I may not have as many choices as most women but I certainly do have options, and time/money is valuable so why waste it when no attraction has been established yet?