"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Anyone good at deciphering women?

G

Gar Lark See

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Hi all,

I'm a long time reader....haven't been on here for long time though...just nice to check in every now and then.

I have a problem with a girl I'm friendly with and could use some input from the long-timers on here.

Girl I know, same age as me, has boyfriend. We happen to work together (I know, I know) I spent far too long a few years ago chasing girls with boyfriends only to be mucked around, now I pretty much don't bother.

However...

This particular girl seems overly keen. She has asked me out to two lunch dates now, I accepted out of friendship for now, and she paid once (she offered) and I paid the second time for the meal. All good. I think she could well like me, she is suggestive at times about the two of us being together, sometimes makes dirty innuendos etc...

Issues I have with her:

1. Boyfriend. Obviously. They aren't getting on well at the moment from what I've heard through her mate.

2. Communication. If I text her on a weekend / evening, no reply. Randomly I might get a reply once a week, but the rest of the time, no reply. Ask her later and she was always "asleep, busy or not with her phone".

What's the balance here? Asking me out to lunch, paying....but then no communciation.

My instinct is that she's playing me along as a backup in case things go wrong with her boyfriend.

Agree / disagree/ Any other opinions?

Cheers dudes
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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O

Omni

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Gar Lark See said:
My instinct is that she's playing me along as a backup in case things go wrong with her boyfriend.
Click to expand...

Yup.

Even if she breaks up with her bf, don't date her; she'd have a new backup guy ready to replace YOU in no time, and you have too much self-respect to be with a woman like that... right?
 
P

Phyzzle

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You haven't written anything here to indicate that she's keen. So she bought you lunch? Doesn't mean much.

She doesn't like to touch you or see to you when work is over?
 
S

SeldomSeen

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Re:

she doesnt reply on the weekends because she's probably with her man.


Leave her be, keep your distance from this one. You'll just drive yourself crazy going back and forth. You're going to end up becoming her girlfriend ie her shoulder to lean on because she is having problems with her man. I'd find some other chicks to date and just keep your friendship with her on a work basis.
 
U

upsidedownside7

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Yes, she's playing backup.

If you want to get with this girl, you're going to have to make a move. Not just asking her out and just sitting there. IMO this is a risky situation you're getting yourself into but it's your life.

The real question you should be asking yourself is why are you courting a woman with a boyfriend? Sounds to like you're minimizing your risk. If a girl with a boyfriend rejects your advances, that doesn't say much about you. If a girl without a boyfriend rejects your advances, then that does.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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F

flexion_

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Gar Lark See said:
What's the balance here? Asking me out to lunch, paying....but then no communciation.

My instinct is that she's playing me along as a backup in case things go wrong with her boyfriend.

Agree / disagree/ Any other opinions?
Click to expand...
I think she is just a work colleague - thats about it.
 
K

Krassus

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My instinct is that she's playing me along as a backup in case things go wrong with her boyfriend.
Click to expand...
Your instinct is correct, sir :) Now, go find a single chick!
 
G

Gar Lark See

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Fair points, fair points.

Maybe I just needed other people to tell me to not be a d1ck and move on!

Cheers for the input guys
 
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