"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Anyone Feel Like Helpin' Out A Fellow DJ?

2-D

Don Juan
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I need some help guys! I've been thinking, and here's what I realised about myself and how I stand with girls:

I am a natural really, but only when I feel comfortable and in the right state of mind, which I can't ever get into now. I am 17 years old, and find myself feeling extremely awkward and uneasy around people!

Now I mean, this is HORRENDOUS for my game, because I can't TALK to a girl (or anyone apart from some very close friends) without feeling awkward and stifled, LET ALONE tease them and make everyone laugh like my real, natural self wants to do!

In fact, I won't lie to you guys, this has been a problem for some time now, I just don't feel at ease around people. I used to be quite popular in all honesty, and always had a crowd of people around me, but now I feel like I am being fake when I make people laugh. I am in a constant struggle with myself to be my natural self, and I'm not even really quite sure who the real me is. Now this may very well be a teen issue, but as you can probably imagine, it causes hell on Earth for me. Hell I'd trade in my virginity 'til I'm 40 to be open and at ease with myself, and to know who I am.

Frustratingly enough, before I got this problem, I would literally not even have to speak to a girl to get some form of attraction, and usually I could just go about my own business in class and naturally people (not just girls) would be attracted to me, as in, they'd want to talk to me, and I was usually in the limelight even if not speaking (i.e. I got a lot of attention)

I know this isn't a forum for psychologists, but if I could just be who I am and not feel awkward then I can honestly say that EVERYTHING in my life would be going my way.

For some details that you might need for my cyber-psychiatry session, I often find it near on impossible to say things that pop into my head, though naturally, I used to say everything that I thought of (had a stream-of-consciousness personality, I think that's the term), if I even try to, my mind just blanks out. I also think everyone is looking at me, or is going to start talking to me, and it makes me feel really uneasy, I always feel like I'm in the spotlight, though I used to be comfortable with that feeling and even enjoy it. Last of all, I find it hard to show happiness or laugh truly, especially with my family, whom I always act moody around.

Cheers for your replies!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Smartone84

Senior Don Juan
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this sounds like something for a shrink, or its just something that will go away in time as you become a better PUA or as you just get older and more mature
 

Perfect10

Don Juan
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Bible_Belt said:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety

Social anxiety is not uncommon. A lot of guys on sosuave have the same problem.
Woooow woow wow..... Or not. Let's not jump to conclusions like that. Dangerous to put ideas in the head of someone that just wants a quick fix.
Blame it on Social anxiety is a easy goal.

To the OP:

I used to be a natural before. My life was on track, I had lots of friends, social status and women. Then I found my first real love. We were together for a whole year until I turned AFC.

Now I've been fighting to get up from that hole the last two years (One year of useless not doing nothing but drinking and hanging out with friends and loosing them one by one. One good year in SS lurking and not taking action. Do not go there, if you get an idea go for it, it's better than moping around not doing **** about your problems)

Now finally for once I've got back on track. I've got a plan for the next 5-10 years of my life that will get my successful in all aspects of my life and I'm not letting anything f*ck me up. If it means that I'm going to lose everything and everyone I know.
Set your life straight. You're still young and have time to plan.
The only quickfix magicpill advice I can and want to give you is:
- Don't look at other people living life. Not on TV, not on the internet, not on sosuave. Live it for yourself instead. You don't need your friends approval for anything.
Hope I could help :)

PS: About not being on Sosuave and me writing here is hypocritical but I've reduced internet time and forum time for like 10-20min a day and somedays none at all. I'm trying.
- P10
 

2-D

Don Juan
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I think I might have Social Anxiety, but I'm not naturally shy at all, so it's really surprising how I've become affected by it. What can I do? I would find it impossible to get an appointment to the doctors, I could never tell my parents. Like I said though, I am definitely not a naturally shy person, I just feel like a person who can't ever be happy/think I am miserable.

I think it might be the way feel at school that is causing this. Most people push me to the side apart from my real friends I hang out with. I don't get to see them that much though at school, and I usually have to hang around people who practically ignore me. Still though it's definitely fair to say that I am not myself at any time any more, in that there's always these awkward overtones in my mind, or if not, the "I hope the awkwardness doesn't come back" is constantly toying with my head, so it's lose lose really.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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