anyone ever shoot confusion to oblivion???

[pancakepalace]

I go out with this girl in LDR for about 6 months. Everything is great. She is just what I want and we are having a ball. suddenly (a month ago), she starts acting confused and bombards me with problems about the relationship. I agree with some of those problems and am willing to work on them. She seems happy about this. Then more problems. More confusion. I try to break up a few times saying she doesn't seem interested, but she keeps saying she is and wants to keep trying.

She keeps acting confused, but saying she isn't. Finally, after she cancels her trip here for some bs excuse, I call the whole thing off.

Seems like I am the only one trying.

We haven't talked for 4 days since and I don't plan to call (although a voice inside me says I should and another says I shouldn't).

Have any of you lived a situation similar to this? Is it possible the girl finally comes straight and really wants in or out?

How do I kill confusion???

 

[al77]

Originally posted by pancakepalace

How do I kill confusion???

I guess you have to figure out the reason behind it.
Talk to her... light convo. Figure out what's wronh with her:
Does it seem she has a bf?
Does it seem she wants to talk about exclusive relationhip\commitment?
Does it seem her friends told her something about your relationships and it bothers her?

It could be whatever....

 

[flexion_]

Confusion means low interest. Most likely this relationship is over. You can bang your head against the wall trying to figure it out but its always best to make your judgements with women based on what they do and not by what they say.

 

[DoubleA]

Let it go.

You don't need that headache. There are more women out there willing to meet a man who is willing to be dedicated like yourself.

Just take it for what it is. It was a leason learned. Can you honestly sit down with yourself and say that you logically were the major cause of things deteriotating the way they were. Did you hit her? Were you a bum for a BF? Treat her bad? If you said No to any of these uestions then...Let HER GO.

It's weak. I know. But you'll never know the reason why. It could be some other clown she's dating. But you will never know for sure. I had that happen to me. GF leaves me because I was "mature enough". Said she wanted to be alone,..BS. She probably dated a boatload of dudes, only knowing she could have me back anytime she wanted.

Take your time and leave it behind. Trust me. The quickest way to get her back is..NOT TO CALL HER. I REPEAT, DO NOT CALL HER. Even if she comes back, by that time you won't want her. Because how she left on HER terms will always be standing there like the washington monument as a footnote when you think of what you had and how she walked out on some bs.

 

[DoubleA]

Damn I posted too early!

Let it go.

You don't need that headache. There are more women out there willing to meet a man who is willing to be dedicated like yourself.

Just take it for what it is. It was a leason learned. Can you honestly sit down with yourself and say that you logically were the major cause of things deteriotating the way they were. Did you hit her? Were you a bum for a BF? Treat her bad? If you said No to any of these questions then...Let HER GO.

It's weak. I know. But you'll never know the reason why. It could be some other clown she's dating. But you will never know for sure. I had that happen to me. GF leaves me because I wasn't "mature enough". Said she wanted to be alone,..BS! She probably dated a boatload of dudes, only knowing she could have me back anytime she wanted.

Take your time and leave it behind. Trust me. The quickest way to get her back is..NOT TO CALL HER. I REPEAT, DO NOT CALL HER. Even if she comes back, by that time you won't want her. Because how she left on HER terms will always be standing there like the washington monument, a footnote, when you think of what you had and how she walked out on you.

 

[pancakepalace]

Thanks Rollo,

Hmm... Did I do anything wrong... I treated her very well and she knew it. I can point out three things though that I should have done otherwise.

1. Be more decisive when going out and choosing things to do.

2. I sort of blew it by telling her how I felt at one point before she had told me. (I know guys... this is crappy. I'll never do this again).

3. Being a bit stuck on past things she said when we were trying to make it work.

It's stange though. I don't really know if she was uninterested or if it's because I couldn't let go of the things she had said and put the relationship in a mood that she was uninterested and couldn't let go.

She said she was interested, but kept acting like she wasn't. Actually, she kept fluctuaing. One day all was peachy and the next things were sour again.

I do feel I have tried my best though and can only learn from my mistakes. I do take responsibility for things going bad.

She had very high-interest at one point. 95%.

It is hard because she is by far the most beautiful and intelligent girl I have dated.

I guess my DJ skills weren't up for the task yet.

 

[Gravyboat]

Originally posted by flexion_
Confusion means low interest.

Bingo. Exactly right.

When I was 20, I had a girlfriend who pulled the "confusion" b.s. on me. In retrospect, what it meant was that she felt guilty for wanting to break-up, even though she knew her interest in me had waned completely. She didn't want to hurt my feelings.

Hence, "confusion."

 

[pancakepalace]

Funny thing is, I told her exactly that.

I said this awhile back "You are not interested in me anymore and you are just trying to make me break up with you, so let's do it"

At that point, she freaked out and said I didn't understand her and basically begged me to keep it going.

This happened twice in the last month before I finally said enough is enough...

Why would she refuse two previous breakup attempts on my part is she wasn't interested at all...

Weird.

 

[flexion_]

Cause she wants to break up with you on her terms so she has all the power.

 

[pancakepalace]

Fine.

Why didn't she breakup then, instead of showing signs of confusion.