"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Anyone Else Here 'Too Bubbly'?

diu

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I'm twenty-three, and I have a young face. People say I look sixteen to eighteen.

What's worse, they say I act like a kid most of the time. Not in a sulky, grumbly kind of way, but more to the one that doesn't stay still. It's hard to see myself act.. so personally, I think I'm a little jovial, but okay.

Other people's opinions don't matter, but when nine out of ten people tell me the same thing, I think I really AM just too bouncy, or active, as they say.

I wouldn't mind becoming someone more grounded and serious, as I'm tired of being perceived as the 'happy-go-lucky' guy. People tend to take me LESS seriously because of my personality. Easier said than done, though.

Also, is there a way to keep my positive and fun insight on life if I start getting more serious?

Would like to know experiences of those who've been through this experience. It would help a lot. Thanks.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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md3sign

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You don't have to become "more serious". Just chill out and don't jump around so much :p. I rarely talk in a serious manner and I try to joke about everything.

It it comes with age - you mature and you calm down a bit.
 

Wolves

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It's perfectly fine to be "bubbly", it's a very attractive quality if you can speak with enthusiasm, joke around, have fun.

The problem comes when you go over the top with it. It's NOT attractive to appear as if you're a 7 year old child with A.D.D. who can't stay focused on one thing for more than 5 seconds.

It's hard to tell from what little you've written but I'd guess that the root of your problem is that you're being too "random", possibly fidgety, and perhaps you want to be bubbly and jokey at innapropriate times for example: during a class when people are trying to focus, during a meeting at work, or any time people are trying to focus on something important. Basically don't be the guy in the movie theater who wants to launch into a long story he thinks is hilarious in the middle of a dramatic scene, because whether it relates to the movie or not it simply isn't the right time for it.

Basically just try to stay focused on the topic during conversations (hell you can say pretty much anything as long as you somehow tie it into the topic, even if it's just barely connected), don't interrupt people, and you should be fine.

A bubbly, energetic person who's all over the place = annoying and even scary

A bubbly, energetic person who's focused = a powerful force
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Wolves said:
It's perfectly fine to be "bubbly", it's a very attractive quality if you can speak with enthusiasm, joke around, have fun.
Being jovial and good natured is great but a guy that's "bubbly" sounds as if he's light in the loafers.
 

diu

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I think Wolves described it better than me.

I do think I'm too 'random' and fidgety sometimes. I've had a lot of occasions where people ask why I can't stay still. It was cool when I was sixteen but now I need to be taken more seriously, and this isn't working at all.

Thanks for the advice. Anyone else been through my situation?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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jack knife

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if that's the way you are, why would you want to change that?

who cares what other people think. the types of women who would only be attracted to you if you acted differently are not the type of women you want to be hanging out with anyway.

if YOU yourself are not happy with the way you are, then change would be neccesary. if you are happy with the way you are, then you are just fine. if people see you having fun and being happy, they will want to share those emotions, and you will be successful.

besides, soon you will want to stop looking older, and look younger so you can hit on those young women with firm bodies. ohh yeah.
 

superchristx

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Go to a local farm, and kill a pig with your bare hands.

Not so bubbly anymore, are you? The only way to get dark is to do evil, or have evil done to you.
 
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