Anyone else ever have this feeling?

[In2theGame]

Well just to get to the point... Ive been with my girlfriend for 9 Months. It has been a great 9 months and we are both happy. She has asked me about moving in together and being engaged... Honestly i feel like she is the right girl for me but man oh man... My last relationship tore the Fvck out of me. Meaning, Sometimes im fine and happy with my girlfriend and other times my heart pounds hard at the fear of falling completly for her and then getting hurt again like i once did. For those of you who have loved a girlfriend who then totally fvcked you over... that devestating blow to the chest feeling you get is one that i really do not wish upon anyone. I fear of her cheating on me or maybe flirting with guys behind my back. I find myself defending my heart when i feel like "something is going on" behind my back... ive talked to her and she talks to me about what im feeling and lets me know she is not doing anything.. but i cant stop these feelings i get inside. Before meeting her... I had a load of girls to mess with but the things was i did not care about them and then fell for this one because of how great we clicked together. it really has been great ever since we met last year but .... anyone else deal with the fear of being hurt again? advice? thanks.

 

[Juan_Man]

You need to get over the past and focus on the present. You should assume that your girlfriend is faithful unless there are obvious signs that show otherwise (not returning phone calls, avoiding you, etc.). Never ask a girl if she is cheating on you. That only stinks of insecurity, which is a huge turn-off. But I understand how you feel.

 

[Kings_royalty]

I fear of her cheating on me or maybe flirting with guys behind my back. I find myself defending my heart when i feel like "something is going on" behind my back... ive talked to her and she talks to me about what im feeling and lets me know she is not doing anything..

Why are you so afraid of her flirting or cheating, have you done something behind HER back, or behind the backs of other girls you've dated? Guilt weights heavy on the heart bro.

Jealousy will screw up your relationship, FAST. You need to shake those feelings before you end up pushing her away. By acting like 'something is going on' you are making yourself look weak and insecure, girls do not want that type of man in their corner; they want a strong, secure, confident man.

And one last thing, every time you gets jealous, you make yourself look like a chump while making other guys look more appealing.

 

[In2theGame]

Thanks Alot for your posts. i feel a bit better and i appreciate it. I have not done anything behind her back, its nothing like that at all. but for those who have been in a Long term relationship and done alot for the girl who then Fvcks them over,.... that feeling is a terrible one and unfortunatly the only cure for that type of pain is time.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Personally I don't think you're ready for a LTR, you still have too many unpacked bags. Had you told your girl about your previous relationship to let her know that she could get all of the repercussions of being "the rebound?"
If you have and she chose to pursue a relationship you may have a chance. If you haven't told her it is further proof that you aren't ready.

 

[Kings_royalty]

that feeling is a terrible one and unfortunatly the only cure for that type of pain is time.


Yup, it sucks, we'll all been there bro. But you can't let it fog your judgment, leave the past IN the past, don't let it effect the present. Learn from it and move on.

 

[MightyMate]

9 months is too fast. Id drop her.