"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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anyone came to school buzzed or drunk?

Snap87

Don Juan
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I've came to school buzzed about 4 times already. Not quiet yet drunk, or else i wouldnt be able to walk and sh1t. but i came buzzed, and man i was laughing like there was no tommorow. Everyone looked at me funny, some though i was on drugs. Those were good times at school, still plan on doing it.
:)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Capt.Jack Sparrow

Master Don Juan
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Yeah I've went to school drunk, I've went high, i've got drunk at lunch... good times you got that right
Just gotta be caaaarefuuuuul
But now im in independent studies
>_>
 

Create Reality

Master Don Juan
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Just keep your mouth shut about going to school drunk to people you talk to, one of them is bound to rat you out, or someone is going to overhear it. Just tell people you're glad to be livin' large :D
 

MetalFortress

Master Don Juan
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Sounds fun. I respect you guys. Just remember, when you're bagging my groceries in 10 years, please use plastic, not paper. When you're changing the oil on my BMW in 10 years, please use 10w-30, not 5w-30. And when you're digging trenches to fit the pipes in the ground for my new house in 10 years, make sure not to hit the electrical lines.
 

KillaCam

Master Don Juan
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I regret every single time I blazed up at lunch and got on the bottle before school.

It was a waste of time. Plenty of hours in the day to do that stuff.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Snap87

Don Juan
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no idea what you talking about, im gonna win the lottery son.
 
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