"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Anybody have experience cold texting an old plate?

H

Heisenberg

Don Juan
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Thinking of reaching out to a plate from about a year ago. This plate didn't break, it just got put on the shelf. I was really busy with work and other plates at the time, and I guess it was the same for her because we both just stopped texting each other. No hard feelings.

I actually cold texted her in the summer (it'd been about 6 months at the time) and everything was friendly and normal. I asked her to go for drinks and she was down, but we couldn't get our availability in sync. So after going back and forth and counter-offering each other a bunch of times it just never materialized.

The last text was sent by me in July:

Her: When are you free next week?
Me: Tuesday or Saturday.

I always feel weird texting out of the blue, it seems like it immediately gives her the frame. Have any guys on here been able to navigate this with minimal weirdness?

Or is it one woman, one lifetime?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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hockeyfreak79

hockeyfreak79

Master Don Juan
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How long was she a plate? Was it more like an f-buddy? I met up with an old fwb recently & had the same same thoughts that you are having. It was just a lunch meet-up, she lives by my work.

You might be able to get the plate spinning again but more than likely it will fizzle out like it did before. I was thinking about doing the same but I've decided I don't feel like putting in the effort. She was eager to meet up for drinks in the future but like I said at this point I think I'd rather focus on new plates.

You have nothing to lose really, text her & see if she bites.
 
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