"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Any web based alternatives to Tinder, OKC or POF?

Jaylan

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Guys, back in late 2013/early 2014 Tinder was great for me. I was getting a good amount of matches, having dates, talking to some good women. It was actually in late 2014 that Tinder helped me find a girl I dated for several months. Probably the longest I've dated someone in about 5 years.

But having gone back to the app since this passed fall, everything's different. I get so many spam/cam-girl matches. And I'm not matching with as many real or decent quality women anymore.

I mean, my appearance is about the same, I actually have an enjoyable career now and more money on hand, and I'm taking better photos due to having money for better clothing. Is there just more people on Tinder than back in the early days and hence more competition?

Same goes for regular dating websites OKC and POF. It didn't use to be so hard to get responses or interest from women. Now I can't get anything done. I'm really wondering what's changed in the demographics of these sites/apps, or what's changed with me.

Outside of me being a bit thinner and not as built as I was a couple years back, everything else about me is the same or better. Better job, better clothes, better hair, better pictures. So I'm baffled really.

Yeah, I'm trying to go out more and meet women in the real world. But the bars in my suburban area leave a lot to be desired. And tbh, without the internet, I'd have a much smaller dating pool with less quality women. The bars in my area have more single moms or married women than the bars in large cities. And tbh, its tiring after a long week to make the trip to NYC for nights out.

So what can you recommend?
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Jaylan

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Im 29, and the minimum age of women I contact online is 25. I stopped being interested in 21 year olds after I graduated from college.

Try again.
 

PapiChulo

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Location
Canada, eh?
Too many men on there. This happens to all apps dating sites when too many men discover them, or too many ugly average women looking for Prince Charming.
 

Jaylan

Master Don Juan
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Might be time for me to find a new location. Because the nightlife blows in my area. The last few weekends out have been mediocre.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Wilko

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Some of the decline is real, but a lot of it has to do with the fact that our tolerance for bullsh!t and mediocrity gets lower and lower the further we get into the Game.
 
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