Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Any web based alternatives to Tinder, OKC or POF?

Jaylan

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Guys, back in late 2013/early 2014 Tinder was great for me. I was getting a good amount of matches, having dates, talking to some good women. It was actually in late 2014 that Tinder helped me find a girl I dated for several months. Probably the longest I've dated someone in about 5 years.

But having gone back to the app since this passed fall, everything's different. I get so many spam/cam-girl matches. And I'm not matching with as many real or decent quality women anymore.

I mean, my appearance is about the same, I actually have an enjoyable career now and more money on hand, and I'm taking better photos due to having money for better clothing. Is there just more people on Tinder than back in the early days and hence more competition?

Same goes for regular dating websites OKC and POF. It didn't use to be so hard to get responses or interest from women. Now I can't get anything done. I'm really wondering what's changed in the demographics of these sites/apps, or what's changed with me.

Outside of me being a bit thinner and not as built as I was a couple years back, everything else about me is the same or better. Better job, better clothes, better hair, better pictures. So I'm baffled really.

Yeah, I'm trying to go out more and meet women in the real world. But the bars in my suburban area leave a lot to be desired. And tbh, without the internet, I'd have a much smaller dating pool with less quality women. The bars in my area have more single moms or married women than the bars in large cities. And tbh, its tiring after a long week to make the trip to NYC for nights out.

So what can you recommend?
 
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Jaylan

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Im 29, and the minimum age of women I contact online is 25. I stopped being interested in 21 year olds after I graduated from college.

Try again.
 

PapiChulo

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Canada, eh?
Too many men on there. This happens to all apps dating sites when too many men discover them, or too many ugly average women looking for Prince Charming.
 

Jaylan

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Might be time for me to find a new location. Because the nightlife blows in my area. The last few weekends out have been mediocre.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Wilko

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Some of the decline is real, but a lot of it has to do with the fact that our tolerance for bullsh!t and mediocrity gets lower and lower the further we get into the Game.
 
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