"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Any web based alternatives to Tinder, OKC or POF?

Jaylan

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Guys, back in late 2013/early 2014 Tinder was great for me. I was getting a good amount of matches, having dates, talking to some good women. It was actually in late 2014 that Tinder helped me find a girl I dated for several months. Probably the longest I've dated someone in about 5 years.

But having gone back to the app since this passed fall, everything's different. I get so many spam/cam-girl matches. And I'm not matching with as many real or decent quality women anymore.

I mean, my appearance is about the same, I actually have an enjoyable career now and more money on hand, and I'm taking better photos due to having money for better clothing. Is there just more people on Tinder than back in the early days and hence more competition?

Same goes for regular dating websites OKC and POF. It didn't use to be so hard to get responses or interest from women. Now I can't get anything done. I'm really wondering what's changed in the demographics of these sites/apps, or what's changed with me.

Outside of me being a bit thinner and not as built as I was a couple years back, everything else about me is the same or better. Better job, better clothes, better hair, better pictures. So I'm baffled really.

Yeah, I'm trying to go out more and meet women in the real world. But the bars in my suburban area leave a lot to be desired. And tbh, without the internet, I'd have a much smaller dating pool with less quality women. The bars in my area have more single moms or married women than the bars in large cities. And tbh, its tiring after a long week to make the trip to NYC for nights out.

So what can you recommend?
 
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"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Jaylan

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Im 29, and the minimum age of women I contact online is 25. I stopped being interested in 21 year olds after I graduated from college.

Try again.
 

PapiChulo

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Canada, eh?
Too many men on there. This happens to all apps dating sites when too many men discover them, or too many ugly average women looking for Prince Charming.
 

Jaylan

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Might be time for me to find a new location. Because the nightlife blows in my area. The last few weekends out have been mediocre.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Wilko

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Some of the decline is real, but a lot of it has to do with the fact that our tolerance for bullsh!t and mediocrity gets lower and lower the further we get into the Game.
 
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