Any tips for going to a bar alone?

[Demystify]

I can never gather enough confidence to go to a bar all alone, but I'm sure many of you do it. So does anyone have any advice on that?

 

[Rhoto]

Oh this is a SURE fire way of getting some attention from women. But you have to carry yourself properly.

Some general guidelines-

1) Dress a level up for the bar your going to, you want to convey that you're only here temporarily and you've got more interesting, higher class things to do later that night.

2) Make friends with the bartender, a simple conversation
"Hey hows your night so far?"
" --- Response --- "
"My name is Mystify, whats yours?"
" --- Response ----"
"Pleasure, Mr./Ms. Barkeep, I'll have a Kettle and Tonic please, and what can I get you Mr./Ms. Barkeep?" (Don't order a drink that requires a lot ingredients, keep it simple)
" -- Normally they'll decline cause they're working, but every so often they'll drink with you if its not busy --- Any thing else?"
"Maybe later, lets open the tab please."

Whatever you want, but try to befriend the bartenders, can't ever hurt.

3) Don't really give any women there attention, thats the reason they're in the club/bar in the first place. By you not giving two shiits about them, they're almost always intrigued. They want to know why you're not looking at them. Situate yourself in a high traffic area and set up shop. A favorite bar of mine has Hookas that they put onto the table for like $10, thats a surefire way to get their attention.

4) Don't limit yourself to one bar, I usually find it better to plan at least 3 locations, with a cool down (the late night grubbage) afterwards.

When women talk to you, behave in a manner that conveys you're not really interested (Because you have more pressing business). You will inevitably be asked the question "Why are you here?" or something along those lines.

"I'm meeting up a buddy of mine from London/Paris/Tokyo/NYC/Amsterdam, I owe him a night on the town after he saved my ass....."

"A client wanted to meet up for dinner earlier, I'm having a drink then going to a ...."

That's the information I can offer of the top of my head. I know there's a lot more experience that can be brought to the table.

 

[TheBaconator]

I've been doing this a lot latley with good success. Some tips I would say are never tell them you came out alone 1st off, you are meeting someone or got split up with a buddy and wandered there because the other place you were at was dead.

Like the other poster said, don't make it obvious that you are there to score ass, even though it's the only logical reason most guys go there. You are there to enjoy the vibe, meet new people and have a great time. If you are a dancer you're already a step ahead of the game. If you look like you are having a good time people will see this, and the women will come sooner or later. You just conversate them up and show them you are there for you, and you will have fun regardless of who shows you attention.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I'm usually there for the band, and to relax. I work too hard.

 

[Magma]

I can never gather enough confidence to go to a bar all alone, but I'm sure many of you do it. So does anyone have any advice on that?

Rhoto made some good suggestions. I would like to add a little, because I just can't help myself with these "Going to the Bar Alone" threads.

I've soloed quite a bit. In fact, all my friends are either married or engaged, and finding a good friend to pound the town with is getting harder and harder to do.

The number one problem I run into when running solo is the ever-present AMOG. This brings up a concept that I termed "self-winging" (for lack of a better term) in another thread on another forum. This is a paraphrase of that post, and I hope it helps. It's something that I've developed and perfected over time, and it's basically how I operate in a solo setting.

When you're out solo, your open to being AMOG'd frequently. Expect it. This has happened to me countless times. Since you're out solo, you don't have the benefit of a wingman. So you have to act as both.

Now, this assumes that you're already engaged in a set. How you open is up to you. (Sidenote: I don't get hung up on how other guys play the game. If you use canned, that's fine. If you take a more natural approach, that's okay too. I operate under the assumption that you can at least APPROACH a woman.)

Inevitably, some guy who fancies himself a player will attempt to overtake your set in these solo settings. Here's your play:

Note: body language/positioning is key here

Open yourself to the AMOG (body position-wise). Do not close off the woman, though. That's important. Tell him what you two were just talking about and ask him his opinion. Sometimes I'll ask him his opinion on what we were talking about, and other times I'll make something up (you can make ANYTHING up here. e.g. "We were just talking about how the dollar just doesn't get you much in Europe as it used to. Ever been?"). One of two things will happen:

1) He will knock it out of the park with a great response (c+f, if you will) and
some kino thrown in for good measure.

2) He will choke.

If he hits a home run, then I say more power to him. Play on, Player. The verbal war of wit has begun. However, if he CHOKES, then you are set up to bust his nuts in front of the woman. If he stutters and stumbles, game over. You can continue with what you were doing. Reposition yourself between the AMOG and the woman (meaning your back is to him and you are facing her directly) and continue with a c/f response of your own design.

You are basically acting as wing for yourself. You disarm the guy and set him up, while maintaining control of the conversation. It's a gem. Being AMOG'd is the NUMBER ONE problem you will encounter in a solo setting IMO, and this is a great way to counter that.

I've had some great experiences with a solo venture, and this one was especially funny.

Hope this helps.

 

[AKA FLEX]

I kind of agree with the above poster that going alone is not your best bet. Women go for men that people are drawn to, and if people were drawn to you, you wouldn't be out alone on a Friday or Saturday night.

With that said, if I had to go at it alone, my standard story would be that I was out with a buddy and he pulled ass already, so now I'm finishing out the night alone. Not only does it give you a good reason for being there by yourself, but it's also an easy way to broach the topic of sex/hooking up. You can gauge where you stand by her reaction.

 

[silkcru007]

Just go and talk to everybody.... build social proof.

 

[nismo-4]

Just go and talk to everybody.... build social proof.

Or bring a wingwoman! If you go alone, you're at a HUGE disadvantage! Better yet, going alone spells disaster.

 

[Jaxon]

I don't think going alone is a waste at all. For one, it tests your abilities and almost forces you to branch out, whereas if you're out with a group/buddy it's a lot easier to puss out or just stay in your little circle.

I was getting my haircut a couple months ago by this really hot chick, and the subject of her boyfriend came up and she was telling me how she met him. She said he started going to the same bar as her and he would just show up a couple times a week and drink a few beers by himself. That was it. Eventually she started talking to him, he asked her out, now they've been in an ltr for a few years. I asked her why she felt the need to talk to a dude sitting at a bar drinking by himself and this was her response almost word for word: "I don't know, there was just something really hot about him coming in and drinking alone. I can't really explain it, it was just really sexy."

I can't explain her response either, I just report it.

 

[decadentdestruction]

Oh this is a SURE fire way of getting some attention from women. But you have to carry yourself properly.

Some general guidelines-

1) Dress a level up for the bar your going to, you want to convey that you're only here temporarily and you've got more interesting, higher class things to do later that night.

2) Make friends with the bartender, a simple conversation
"Hey hows your night so far?"
" --- Response --- "
"My name is Mystify, whats yours?"
" --- Response ----"
"Pleasure, Mr./Ms. Barkeep, I'll have a Kettle and Tonic please, and what can I get you Mr./Ms. Barkeep?" (Don't order a drink that requires a lot ingredients, keep it simple)
" -- Normally they'll decline cause they're working, but every so often they'll drink with you if its not busy --- Any thing else?"
"Maybe later, lets open the tab please."

Whatever you want, but try to befriend the bartenders, can't ever hurt.

3) Don't really give any women there attention, thats the reason they're in the club/bar in the first place. By you not giving two shiits about them, they're almost always intrigued. They want to know why you're not looking at them. Situate yourself in a high traffic area and set up shop. A favorite bar of mine has Hookas that they put onto the table for like $10, thats a surefire way to get their attention.

4) Don't limit yourself to one bar, I usually find it better to plan at least 3 locations, with a cool down (the late night grubbage) afterwards.

When women talk to you, behave in a manner that conveys you're not really interested (Because you have more pressing business). You will inevitably be asked the question "Why are you here?" or something along those lines.

"I'm meeting up a buddy of mine from London/Paris/Tokyo/NYC/Amsterdam, I owe him a night on the town after he saved my ass....."

"A client wanted to meet up for dinner earlier, I'm having a drink then going to a ...."

That's the information I can offer of the top of my head. I know there's a lot more experience that can be brought to the table.

make friends with the bartender... if he's not being d*ck they can sometimes help you get chicks ...

I know at this local bar I go to , its next to a university , and we go to happy hour ... we made friends with the bartender , when a chicks sit at the bar they see the interaction , and we get into conversations with them ...

or the bartender hooks them up with free drinks ...

sometimes we leave with numbers or emails, or at least a good nice meeting you ...

keep a positive attitude ....