"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Any tips for DHV (demonstrating higher value) during approach/pickup

jamescr73

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I think i have figured out where my game lacks. I have no problem with the approach. I no longer get any anxiety, and will walk up to a pack of HB9.9's if I want to. (10's dont exist). Anyway, I dont have a problem number closing. I have a problem with them picking up the phone after I call them the first time. They always pick up the first time I call, its because they dont have my number yet and are wondering who is calling. During that first convo I have a hard time setting dates, they are always busy with something, etc. Or its, Im real busy right now can I give you a call later tonight? and they dont call.

Ive come to the conclusion my game lacks DHV. DHV also builds attraction, and I think building attraction is a short in my game too. What tips/techniques/ideas do you guys have, what do you use, what do I need to do to implement DHV into my approach/convo? Im going out tonight, tomorrow and saturday, so I need some material to practice with. Thanks!
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Jitterbug

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What kind of high values do you have?

If you actually do have high values, they'll come out naturally. Otherwise, you'll sound like you're making sh!t up just to brag.
 

jamescr73

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see thats the thing, I do have high values, I run a business, I do well for myself, I have nice cars, a motorcycle, a race car, own my house, Im good looking and physically fit, I just dont like to brag, I usually drive my beater (which is still pretty nice) to the bar, because I dont want to find a woman that wants me for what I have.

Im not going to walk up to a pack of girls and say "hey, Im James, I have a business, money, a house, 4 cars and a motorcycle, can I get your number?" there are other ways to demonstrate DHV without possessions coming into the picture.
 

everywomanshero

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When you just described yourself, you listed all external features to describe yourself. What you own and such. Get to the place where those things are no longer your greatest value to brag about and people will be interested enough that "DHVing" or not won't make any difference.
 

Sandow

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its usually hard to have girls committed to that first date, so if ur getting rejected, relax, ur shooting par. girls will usually not commit if theres not enough raport.

So if ur just introducing urself, fluff for a few minutes, then get her number, thats not enough for her to be interested in that date. You need solid raport with a good convo. That convo needs to be light, funny or at least interesting, and very importantly, u need to make it sound like you have certain things in common. Once you get GOOD raport, then decide to meet up somewhere laid back, like a lounge or bar. I usually invite her out to meet up with my friends at a bar. its not threatning and very casual. Ur DHV's will come out naturally in the convo cause she'll be asking you questions about yourself. hopefully.

Remember, its normal for girls to be weiry. They dont know who you are, and it takes awhile for them to trust you, its definitely a process. But Once they do, then u got em.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Jitterbug

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jamescr73 said:
see thats the thing, I do have high values,
Your high values will show themselves.

I run a business, I do well for myself,
People in your position often have a certain level of confidence that are obvious to others.

I have nice cars, a motorcycle, a race car, own my house,
When you have a date with a girl and take her home with you, she'll see those for herself. Or if you take her out for a fun ride on the motorcycle... etc.

Also, when you own a house, you are a lot more secure than those who are still renting and under the landlord's thumb (like myself :p ). It's a lot less to worry about for you. It'll show.

Im good looking and physically fit
Showing up is enough to DHV then.

Other things like hobbies, personality traits, social circles and so on will just come out naturally when you have a conversation. Don't be so eager to spill all the details about yourself just for the sake of DHVing as you'll lose mysteriousness. Let her find out.

During that first convo I have a hard time setting dates, they are always busy with something, etc. Or its, Im real busy right now can I give you a call later tonight? and they dont call.
Of course they wouldn't call. That is their way, and it's basically a sh!t test. You're the one who wants something (a date, and more...) so you should be the one calling. Every chick says she's busy as she's just playing hard to get, even if she has sweet fvck all to do that night. For someone who runs a business, I bet you're busier than most of them, yet you can still find time to call them and set up a date.

I don't think DHV is what you lack. What kind of dates are you trying to set up? What reasons do you think you're giving them (subtly, of course) to make them want to come to that date? Attractive women have a lot of offers and they can't go to all of them, so they pick the best ones.
 

jamescr73

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Jitterbug said:
For someone who runs a business, I bet you're busier than most of them, yet you can still find time to call them and set up a date.
Yeah, im busy as sh*t, sunup to sundown and beyond. But I still have the time to send a text or answer a call.

I don't think DHV is what you lack. What kind of dates are you trying to set up? What reasons do you think you're giving them (subtly, of course) to make them want to come to that date? Attractive women have a lot of offers and they can't go to all of them, so they pick the best ones.
I usually try to set up something fun. Seems most girls just want to go drink though, which is fine, I could care less. Most of my dates end up at a restaurant for dinner and drinks. The funnest times ive had are out driving around in the race car (of course most chicks are scared), or riding the bike. Id rather spend $40 on gas for the night, instead of dinner im just going to give back to the earth later ;)
 
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