Any quick tips for the AFC?

[fantasticsprite]

Yes. I am an AFC. It's a difficult admission because I have a great deal of pride and confidence outside of this particular arena. I've had a few girlfriends, a few one nighters and currently a nice friend with benefits... However each one has taken extreme effort to pull of, and the rejections far outnumber the successes. It is only by sheer volume of attempts that I have managed to get this far (there is something to be said for persistence, at least).

I've been lurking on here, reading some posts, learning what I need to do. Of course, there is a far cry from learning and actually doing... but hey, that's why I'm here.

So on to the question: To any of you reformed AFCs out there... what were the first, more important things really helped you change and move forward to the realm of DJ?

 

[SandHawk]

Read the DJ Bible, Book of Pook and Anti-dump.

 

[kingsam]

Yes. I am an AFC. It's a difficult admission because I have a great deal of pride and confidence outside of this particular arena. I've had a few girlfriends, a few one nighters and currently a nice friend with benefits... However each one has taken extreme effort to pull of, and the rejections far outnumber the successes. It is only by sheer volume of attempts that I have managed to get this far (there is something to be said for persistence, at least).

I've been lurking on here, reading some posts, learning what I need to do. Of course, there is a far cry from learning and actually doing... but hey, that's why I'm here.

So on to the question: To any of you reformed AFCs out there... what were the first, more important things really helped you change and move forward to the realm of DJ?

i think you are past the biggest hurdle, or over the top of the Mount Nice-guy already...
actually comming to the realisation that you are an AFC, most guys cant be this honest and admit it to themselves, so stay in a perpetual cycle of AFCness...

it will be a long way down to where you want to be

start studying all the resources, and try and relect back on where you went wrong in the past, and current issues/problems you have, one these are pointed out learn and improve..... also you need to practice as well as just reading online ... and relasie its a marathon not a sprint, dont take things personally either.

maybe keep a computer "diary" for your self to record your progress and memorise things better,

also the vast majority of the info is along the lines of the saying "you say tomato, I say tomahto"- its all the some basic info just written with different words/sayings...etc

 

[mikeyb]

I'm surprised that after what seems to be a decent amount of experience with women you still call yourself an AFC. You're already ahead of 99% of all AFCs because you're A) not a virgin, B) not enslaved by any one woman in particular, and C) Know that something's holding you back and want to change.

You need to stop focusing on women and improve other parts of your life - job, friends, hobbies, sports, etc. Once that's in order you will realize that you don't need women as much, and paradoxically that will make you more attractive to them.

 

[fantasticsprite]

I'm surprised that after what seems to be a decent amount of experience with women you still call yourself an AFC. You're already ahead of 99% of all AFCs because you're A) not a virgin, B) not enslaved by any one woman in particular, and C) Know that something's holding you back and want to change.

You need to stop focusing on women and improve other parts of your life - job, friends, hobbies, sports, etc. Once that's in order you will realize that you don't need women as much, and paradoxically that will make you more attractive to them.

A). Truth.
B). That's debatable. I'd very much like to convert my current friend with benefits to something more substantial. I think, perhaps, I am -too- interested in her.
C). Yes, very much so.

You're right, though. I need to focus on other things. It's rather difficult to consciously let go of that damnable desire (or at least not let it ruin my interactions with women), but I do want to achieve that.

I think half of my problem is a dose of extreme nervousness at times, which can come off as insecurity. Oddly enough, at other times, it is completely absent (usually when I'm more successful).

start studying all the resources, and try and relect back on where you went wrong in the past, and current issues/problems you have, one these are pointed out learn and improve..... also you need to practice as well as just reading online ... and relasie its a marathon not a sprint, dont take things personally either.

maybe keep a computer "diary" for your self to record your progress and memorise things better,

That's a very good idea, actually. Some sort of diary of experiences would be handy to reflect on later. I tend to reason things out very logically, which doesn't always work with the emotional insanity of most women. However, written down, it would probably be pretty easy to say "this works" and "this doesn't."

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

For me I try to keep it simple.

-I realize that my mind makes excuses for things which I really want
-I must act against these in order to defeat that insecurity

-Only by approaching a lot can you become good at it because approaching is a skill

-If your not ready to approach then you need to work your way up. By doing actions. Learning the psychology is half the battle. So many people think they are the **** because they learned some stuff. That does not make you confident it makes you knowledgeable.

Thats the inner game secret. Defeat your emotions through action. If your not approaching a lot.. your making excuses to yourself.