"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Any ex already were afraid of you ?

SXS

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It seems to happen to me a lot.
One time(well, kind of long time...) I was seeing a girl that I knew for sometime, and one day we had a HUGE fight, and then we said awfull things. After we split that day, I didnt talk to her for a few days, then I called her to meet me in the park near her house. I got there in time, but she didnt, and after I was thinking she wasnt coming, she appeared with a very, very scared face(since she was late, my face wasnt pretty...), and then I said 'why did you take so long', she said, "was afraid, I thought you would kill me"...

Anyway, I didnt think about taht for a long time, but now a girl I am seeing says she is afraid of me.
I am a very cold and serious man, but I dont think I am that scary. What could I be doing to get this ?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Igetit!

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SXS said:
It seems to happen to me a lot.
I am a very cold and serious man, but I dont think I am that scary. What could I be doing to get this ?
You see the part I underlined? That's your answer right there. You answered your own question. You said that you're "cold". Nevermind the serious part. Coldness makes people feel uncomfortable,especially women. You said you're "cold and serious". Ever hear of a "cold blooded murderer"? Ever hear of a "serial killer"? Being cold and seriuos is a bad combination.
You said that you get this a lot. Well,if just about every girl you go out with brings this up to you,then yeah,you might want to take what they say to heart and start to address it in some way.

One thing you can start to do right off the bat is smile more.
 

DJDamage

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Your ex fvcked up.

First she pisses you off, then she is late to a very important meeting that could make or break your relationship. Her saying that she was afraid that you would "kill her" is just an excuse to cover up her lateness. If she was really scared of you, she wouldn't have showed up.

Maybe you are a serious and a very cold man, but guess what? you are still pulling chicks and if those chicks are coming back for more then they might like the fact that you scare them a bit. Many of the so called "good girls" end up with the worst and hardest looking criminals because the excitment and the fear just makes them more wet.
 

horaholic

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If more than one woman is saying you're scary, then you come off as scary, and you should do something about it. You dont see yourself like they do. Cold and serious is unattractive, and freaks chicks out. People like that freak ME out.
 

SXS

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You see the part I underlined? That's your answer right there. You answered your own question. You said that you're "cold". Nevermind the serious part. Coldness makes people feel uncomfortable,especially women. You said you're "cold and serious". Ever hear of a "cold blooded murderer"? Ever hear of a "serial killer"? Being cold and seriuos is a bad combination.
You said that you get this a lot. Well,if just about every girl you go out with brings this up to you,then yeah,you might want to take what they say to heart and start to address it in some way.
When I say "cold", I dont mean like a guy who is shooting someone and then saying "hasta la vista", but in the sense that I am not emotional, nor let myself out of control. For example, when in our fight, she was yelling and crying all the time, while i was cool, even though I was angry(with things she had done...).

First she pisses you off, then she is late to a very important meeting that could make or break your relationship. Her saying that she was afraid that you would "kill her" is just an excuse to cover up her lateness. If she was really scared of you, she wouldn't have showed up.
But her face was really very scared... that couldnt lie. i dont think she was late because she was scared, but she was scared.

Maybe you are a serious and a very cold man, but guess what? you are still pulling chicks and if those chicks are coming back for more then they might like the fact that you scare them a bit. Many of the so called "good girls" end up with the worst and hardest looking criminals because the excitment and the fear just makes them more wet.
in the case of this girl, she still tries to talk to me, but I mostly just ignore her. And its hard, since we live close, we always bump into each other...

If more than one woman is saying you're scary, then you come off as scary, and you should do something about it. You dont see yourself like they do. Cold and serious is unattractive, and freaks chicks out. People like that freak ME out.
Calm down, dont have nightmares about me tonight.
I promise I wont be coming for you...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Igetit!

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You made a thread asking if anybody else experiences this thing you going through of women being afraid of you,but it kind of seems like now you're defending/qualifying you being cold. You said you're cold not in the sense of shooting people,but in the sense of being non-emotional. That's what I meant by being cold,being non-emotional. Do you want to change these reactions you're getting from women or not? You being what I say is "cold",but what you call "not emotional" makes women feel uncomfortable. They don't feel like you're human. Show some emotion man. It's ok to be angry or happy,just don't let it control you. A woman would rather you be angry from time to time than you to be a cold,lifeless,corpse walking around.
 

SXS

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You made a thread asking if anybody else experiences this thing you going through of women being afraid of you,but it kind of seems like now you're defending/qualifying you being cold.
of course i am defending myself, I always liked that about me. I do get noticed very often because of my size, crossed arms and serious face. But I don't think taht could scare a girl. Some men would spanck That girl in question, but I could keep myself together.

You said you're cold not in the sense of shooting people,but in the sense of being non-emotional. That's what I meant by being cold,being non-emotional. Do you want to change these reactions you're getting from women or not? You being what I say is "cold",but what you call "not emotional" makes women feel uncomfortable. They don't feel like you're human. Show some emotion man. It's ok to be angry or happy,just don't let it control you. A woman would rather you be angry from time to time than you to be a cold,lifeless,corpse walking around.
I am happy or angry from time to time, i just dont like people to see it. Well, maybe i shuld untie a little bit...
 
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