izza
Master Don Juan
People should feel joy during the act of approaching or not do it at all.
My job, the entire purpose of the Any Coward Can Do This series, is to make approaching fun, so that people WANT to approach - not for the benefits later, but for the joy of approaching right now.
Here's part 6.
Clustering
This is simple and takes only a few minutes. You can do it alone. Grab a normal 8.5/11 piece of paper. Write a central word in the middle. Free associate and come up with related words, phrases, and questions, then connect them together. Try to get as many causes of approach anxiety on paper as possible.
I learned this exercise in a creative writing class, but quickly realized its potential for overcoming approach anxiety.
I've nicknamed this clustering exercise, "the epiphany machine." I have several profound realizations every minute. I have pasted here more details from this website:
http://www.meadecomm.com/clustering.html
"How to Use Clustering to Jump Start Your Writing
by Vicki Meade
One of the best techniques I've ever learned for breaking through inertia, stimulating ideas, and finding a direction for a piece of writing is "clustering." I was introduced to clustering by Annapolis author and writing instructor Laura Oliver, and over the years I've used it to jump start everything from personal essays to corporate reports.
Clustering is a powerful tool because it taps into the right brain, which drives creativity. Our right brain is where fresh ideas and original insights are generated. The left brain, in contrast, is more logical and orderly. Both are essential to good writing, but if your left brain is too dominant when you start a piece, it inhibits the free flow of thought. Clustering muffles the left brain for a time so the right brain can play freely. Here's how to do it.
1. Write a nucleus word or phrase on a clean piece of paper. I usually choose a word that I consider, loosely, to be my topic. For example, if I'm writing a Mother's Day essay, "mother" would be a good nucleus word. If I'm writing an annual report for a client I might choose "service" or "business" or even a phrase like “improving our image." The nucleus word's purpose is to trigger associations. Emotionally charged words like "love," "loss," or "envy" are extremely effective, as are prepositions: "around," "beyond," "over," and so forth.
2. Circle the nucleus and let connections flow, writing down each new word or phrase that comes to mind, circling it, and connecting it with a line. to the, word that sparked it. Attach to the nucleus each word that seems like an entirely new direction. But don't get hung up on which words connect to what. The idea is to let thoughts run quickly without editing, censoring, or worrying about proper sequence.
3. Keep your hand moving all the time; do not stop. If you get stuck, keep circling words or thickening lines between them. You can even doodle, but do not stop moving your pen. As long as your hand is occupied, jotting thoughts and circling, your left brain—the "critic"—is occupied and thus is prevented from interfering with spontaneity and creativity.
4. Cluster for three minutes or so—you'll probably fill the page. At some point you'll feel a mental shift or an "aha!" that suggests what you want to write about.
5. Continue adding to your cluster if you feel there is more to explore, but you can start writing anytime you want. Refer to your cluster to stimulate thoughts as you write, but don't feel you have to include in your piece everything that's in the cluster.
6. Write your piece without worrying about perfection. Get it all onto paper, and later, go back to polish using the logical left brain."
The only modification I would make is this:
Every couple of minutes, take a moment to look at how ideas may connect in ways you didn't see before. Draw lines to connect all related ideas. Also take time to find ideas that are contradictory and note the contradiction.
Here are some suggestions for what to put in the middle.
Fear of approaching
Names of exes you're hung up on (ie Stephanie)
I pretend to be _____, so that people won't see my ________ (For instance, I pretend to be strong so that people won't see my vulnerability)
Sex
My strengths
I'm sexy because...
I feel self-conscious when...
This exercise doesn't take long, it's really fun and many, many people have learned so much about themselves doing this exercise. I find that just by clustering the problems I have with approaching, they all but disappear.
This takes five minutes and can be done alone. If you would like to overcome any approach anxiety, you may benefit from this exercise.
All the best,
Izza
PS If you want pictures of what the exercise looks like when complete, go to the website above.
PPS Another good exercise is to leave "I pretend to be _____, so that people won't see my ________" in the middle of your page with the blanks there. See how many different ways you can fill up these blanks.
We all pretend to be a lot of things we're not so that should be not too difficult. That is a great exercise to increase authenticity.
My job, the entire purpose of the Any Coward Can Do This series, is to make approaching fun, so that people WANT to approach - not for the benefits later, but for the joy of approaching right now.
Here's part 6.
Clustering
This is simple and takes only a few minutes. You can do it alone. Grab a normal 8.5/11 piece of paper. Write a central word in the middle. Free associate and come up with related words, phrases, and questions, then connect them together. Try to get as many causes of approach anxiety on paper as possible.
I learned this exercise in a creative writing class, but quickly realized its potential for overcoming approach anxiety.
I've nicknamed this clustering exercise, "the epiphany machine." I have several profound realizations every minute. I have pasted here more details from this website:
http://www.meadecomm.com/clustering.html
"How to Use Clustering to Jump Start Your Writing
by Vicki Meade
One of the best techniques I've ever learned for breaking through inertia, stimulating ideas, and finding a direction for a piece of writing is "clustering." I was introduced to clustering by Annapolis author and writing instructor Laura Oliver, and over the years I've used it to jump start everything from personal essays to corporate reports.
Clustering is a powerful tool because it taps into the right brain, which drives creativity. Our right brain is where fresh ideas and original insights are generated. The left brain, in contrast, is more logical and orderly. Both are essential to good writing, but if your left brain is too dominant when you start a piece, it inhibits the free flow of thought. Clustering muffles the left brain for a time so the right brain can play freely. Here's how to do it.
1. Write a nucleus word or phrase on a clean piece of paper. I usually choose a word that I consider, loosely, to be my topic. For example, if I'm writing a Mother's Day essay, "mother" would be a good nucleus word. If I'm writing an annual report for a client I might choose "service" or "business" or even a phrase like “improving our image." The nucleus word's purpose is to trigger associations. Emotionally charged words like "love," "loss," or "envy" are extremely effective, as are prepositions: "around," "beyond," "over," and so forth.
2. Circle the nucleus and let connections flow, writing down each new word or phrase that comes to mind, circling it, and connecting it with a line. to the, word that sparked it. Attach to the nucleus each word that seems like an entirely new direction. But don't get hung up on which words connect to what. The idea is to let thoughts run quickly without editing, censoring, or worrying about proper sequence.
3. Keep your hand moving all the time; do not stop. If you get stuck, keep circling words or thickening lines between them. You can even doodle, but do not stop moving your pen. As long as your hand is occupied, jotting thoughts and circling, your left brain—the "critic"—is occupied and thus is prevented from interfering with spontaneity and creativity.
4. Cluster for three minutes or so—you'll probably fill the page. At some point you'll feel a mental shift or an "aha!" that suggests what you want to write about.
5. Continue adding to your cluster if you feel there is more to explore, but you can start writing anytime you want. Refer to your cluster to stimulate thoughts as you write, but don't feel you have to include in your piece everything that's in the cluster.
6. Write your piece without worrying about perfection. Get it all onto paper, and later, go back to polish using the logical left brain."
The only modification I would make is this:
Every couple of minutes, take a moment to look at how ideas may connect in ways you didn't see before. Draw lines to connect all related ideas. Also take time to find ideas that are contradictory and note the contradiction.
Here are some suggestions for what to put in the middle.
Fear of approaching
Names of exes you're hung up on (ie Stephanie)
I pretend to be _____, so that people won't see my ________ (For instance, I pretend to be strong so that people won't see my vulnerability)
Sex
My strengths
I'm sexy because...
I feel self-conscious when...
This exercise doesn't take long, it's really fun and many, many people have learned so much about themselves doing this exercise. I find that just by clustering the problems I have with approaching, they all but disappear.
This takes five minutes and can be done alone. If you would like to overcome any approach anxiety, you may benefit from this exercise.
All the best,
Izza
PS If you want pictures of what the exercise looks like when complete, go to the website above.
PPS Another good exercise is to leave "I pretend to be _____, so that people won't see my ________" in the middle of your page with the blanks there. See how many different ways you can fill up these blanks.
We all pretend to be a lot of things we're not so that should be not too difficult. That is a great exercise to increase authenticity.
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