Any Coward Can Do This (Part 3): Dress like crap!

[Ace_McGregor]

:crackup: I am homeless. Been getting #'s and KC's like crazy too. I mean really, what does the word 'no' matter when you sleep in the street? I do tend to dress clean though compared to my fellow hobos. I think I'll stop that for a week or so and see what happens. What the hell, I'll try the opener 'nice azz' from that other thread in the MM forum.

It'll either work exceptionally well, or it will go nuclear. Either way it'll be funny.

You must be using the Internet down at the library to access this forum.

Good job bro! I bet you have truly honed your social skills from being a poorly dressed homeless man.

 

[NINJA PIMP]

A PUA friend of mine does this all the time. He shows up at a fancy club with shorts and slippers and somehow talks his way in past the bouncers. (He's really good) He will then cut into the line of dudes in suits and pick up the hottest chick in the place and take her home that night.

He's not the best looking guy either..just born with the gift of gab. As you can guess, he is a salesman by trade. I've seen him talk his way out of parking tickets, bar fights and one time he convinced a perfect stranger to loan him a credit card.

His game works well for him, but that's not how I play. I enjoy looking and smelling good when I go out. To each his own though.

 

[juice veteran]

if its your style to be scruffy or whatever your personality will still shine through, if you're manipulating your style to be either better or worse just for chicks you are a loser. dont think so much

 

[Incremental]

Homelessness is about selling yourself to the marks. I think I might try a job as a car salesman in Jan/Feb. There was another thread on here about that and it perked my ears up. Plus, money's always good to have, and better to spend.

 

[izza]

a POSSIBLE PROBLEM i CAN SEE IS, HOW ARE YOU GONNA BE ABLE TO WORK ON YOUR SOCIAL SKILLZ IF GIRLS DONT WANT TO TALK TO YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR APPEARANCE. FIRST IMPRESSIONS ARE REAL, AND THEY ARE USUALLY BASED ON APPEARANCE FIRST, EVEN WITH NON-SUPERFICIAL WOMEN.

That's a really good question that shows that you're thinking about this in the right way. The secret to improving your social skills is to challenge your limits but not to exceed them. So for instance, these guys who are cracking jokes and think they're clever are suggesting that if you dress like a bum you won't get women. Yet people with a massive amount of social skills have done just that.

I have some personal experience in this domain as well.

But basically, let's say you have zero social skills, I would recommend not dressing down too much. It's the same at the gym, if you have weak muscles, don't try to benchpress 300 pounds, you will get crushed. The secret is to know your strength and try to slightly exceed it. There is nothing unusual about this notion.

So say guy A has a ton of social skills. I would recommend he dress to a level that would make getting women hard. For your friend, that may be flip flops and shorts. For me, that's bad breath or being sweaty or dressing in a ****ty t-shirt. I'm actually at my best socially under these conditions because I know I have to be at my best to make up for the difference.

Say guy B has no social skills, I would recommend he just dress normally without thinking about it or maybe dress in some slightly worse running wear.

The main point is that we want to get away from this notion of compensating for no social skills with looks. Looks are just makeup whereas social skills are true power - they come in handy in just about every domain of life.

Izza

 

[izza]

That said, when I go to work I do still dress well. I understand that learning how to look sharp is also a great skill to learn. It's on the weekends that I get to get more creative with my wardrobe.

Looks are a form of power too, just keep in mind that looks fade whereas social skills are a skill. So some guys turn 30 and can't get the cute 20 year olds anymore. I'm working to have the type of skills where I can be 60 and still get the ladies.

PS A prized item has just come into my collection: the ULTIMATE dress down shirt. Any guesses what's on it?

 

[izza]

A PUA friend of mine does this all the time. He shows up at a fancy club with shorts and slippers and somehow talks his way in past the bouncers. (He's really good) He will then cut into the line of dudes in suits and pick up the hottest chick in the place and take her home that night.

He's not the best looking guy either..just born with the gift of gab. As you can guess, he is a salesman by trade. I've seen him talk his way out of parking tickets, bar fights and one time he convinced a perfect stranger to loan him a credit card.

His game works well for him, but that's not how I play. I enjoy looking and smelling good when I go out. To each his own though.

Very interesting story about your friend. Thanks for sharing. You're right, to each their own. I am not married to this idea of dressing down as a way of challenging yourself. I would suggest each person explore a way of challenging themselves that suits who they are (sorry about the pun). I also don't talk about my job, or my travels - it just makes everything too easy, you know? It also sounds like bragging sometimes.

Izza

 

[fertileTurtle]

I'll give you one thing. You give hope for us guys who don't have the best looks.

 

[fertileTurtle]

PS A prized item has just come into my collection: the ULTIMATE dress down shirt. Any guesses what's on it?

Jizz?

 

[izza]

Jizz?

Bahahaha, no I haven't become Slick Willy yet. Keep trying.

 

[izza]

I'll give you one thing. You give hope for us guys who don't have the best looks.

I sometimes think the less attractive have a certain advantage over guys who think they're attractive (whether or not the ladies agree).

If you're attractive AND you have social skills, ok, that's one thing. But let's face it, real social skills, a real ability to talk about yourself and attract people to your cause is so rare. Very few people have it.

Now the attractive guys think they're attractive. Most guys like this are kind of vain. If they don't already have the social skills, it's really hard for them to develop them. One big reason for this is that vanity gets in the way. It actually hurts them emotionally to be seen as unattractive. They would rather play it safe and distant than risk any rejection - because they rejection could insult their looks.

The biggest danger for people like this is putting on a front of suaveness. I'm not saying it's bad to be suave if that's just who you are. But these people put on a front and try to rely on looks. And ultimately, they feel like their personality is ugly. Remember that most people believe who they really are is a disadvantage, whereas in reality it's the most attractive thing we have. So these people don't open up.

Compare that to the ugly guy. The ugly guy says, I'm ugly, I'm always going to be ugly, so I need to become a really interesting person or else it's all over. The ugly guy doesn't have as many problems with vanity. In fact, if a girl turns him down, he can just say she didn't really know him, and she's just shallow, which sometimes is true.

The ugly guy knows he has to be at his best, the ugly guy works to make his best better, to make his most interesting more interesting. In short, the ugly guys knows that if he doesn't bust his balls, he's not gonna get the time of day.

The biggest danger for the ugly guy is just giving up, and settling for less than he can get.

Most ugly guys can get women who would dazzle the rest of us.

The truth is, even the attractive guys with little social skills aren't going to get more than a few random hookups unless they bust their balls. They will just get lucky. But most guys who think they're attractive want to coast as far as they can on looks. And it's a really fatal mistake. I know a lot of very attractive very single guys.

Most ugly guys that I know are really into self-improvement, and are having better and better success with women. I suspect that ultimately both just have different challenges to face: vanity for one, and self-worth for the other. Still, it's a funny world.

As for me, I'm sort of middle of the road in attractiveness, but I always thought I was such hot sh!t haha. I still have some major roadblocks in my development. But all my friends are amazed at my stories about meeting chicks on the bus (while dripping with sweat) or on the train (with major halitosis lol). People in high school thought I was classic awkward, but I was still expecting my friends to be more surprised that I'm meeting hot women all over the place, considering my introverted history. Damn, I gotta find more surprised people.

Izza

 

[izza]

if its your style to be scruffy or whatever your personality will still shine through, if you're manipulating your style to be either better or worse just for chicks you are a loser. dont think so much

Good point. I agree with you. I don't dress up or down to impress women anymore. I do dress down to challenge my social skills, and quite frankly, because everybody on this board thinks it's "impossible" to get women while dressing like crap. Well, I think it's funny to tell those same guys that I did it, and just mess with the backwards mentality on this site.

 

[Bvbidd]

Some of the best DJs or whatever you want to call them, dress horrible and hardly shower. All I got to say though is, it does not help, it just that these guys skills overpower everything else. Just dress alright, and it'll be easier for us that have less to offer.

 

[izza]

Some of the best DJs or whatever you want to call them, dress horrible and hardly shower. All I got to say though is, it does not help, it just that these guys skills overpower everything else. Just dress alright, and it'll be easier for us that have less to offer.

Great post, that's it. The greats don't really need looks. And I agree that those of us who haven't learned how to express ourselves yet shouldn't dress too far down.

""Let's say you have zero social skills, I would recommend not dressing down too much. It's the same at the gym, if you have weak muscles, don't try to benchpress 300 pounds, you will get crushed. The secret is to know your strength and try to slightly exceed it. There is nothing unusual about this notion.

So say guy A has a ton of social skills. I would recommend he dress to a level that would make getting women hard. For your friend, that may be flip flops and shorts. For me, that's bad breath or being sweaty or dressing in a ****ty t-shirt. I'm actually at my best socially under these conditions because I know I have to be at my best to make up for the difference.

Say guy B has no social skills, I would recommend he just dress normally without thinking about it or maybe dress in some slightly worse running wear.

The main point is that we want to get away from this notion of compensating for no social skills with looks. Looks are just makeup whereas social skills are true power - they come in handy in just about every domain of life.

Looks do have a power, but it is fleeting and more limited in domain.""

 

[Dilberto]

The bottom line is if you are in good shape, show some self-confidence, and carry yourself well- most women see right through the clothes. The clothes you wear only make a statement of your tastes, and earning ability. If you wear a baseball cap and a team t-shirt to a sports bar, you will become just like the rest of the loud, beer-fueled, jock wannabes that alot women are invisible to. Clothes make the man- but it's the man that has to finish the job himself.

 

[izza]

The bottom line is if you are in good shape, show some self-confidence, and carry yourself well- most women see right through the clothes. The clothes you wear only make a statement of your tastes, and earning ability. If you wear a baseball cap and a team t-shirt to a sports bar, you will become just like the rest of the loud, beer-fueled, jock wannabes that alot women are invisible to. Clothes make the man- but it's the man that has to finish the job himself.

Aww, man. You mean I'm not challenging myself by dressing down?

Rats!

That said I like your attitude: some women see right past these things, which is true.

Izza

 

[Demon]

izza is an innovator! Although what makes dressing down a DJ any different than dressing down an AFC? The bare essentials of DJdom: life, love, and leadership. None of those elements have anything to do with what you wear. How you approach life is what counts. How do you know when you've got the right approach for you? When the word "game" is no longer in your DJ lexicon.

 

[izza]

izza is an innovator! Although what makes dressing down a DJ any different than dressing down an AFC? The bare essentials of DJdom: life, love, and leadership. None of those elements have anything to do with what you wear. How you approach life is what counts. How do you know when you've got the right approach for you? When the word "game" is no longer in your DJ lexicon.

Haha, innovator. I'll definitely take that as a compliment.

The difference between a dressed down AFC and DJ is exactly what you're saying: the DJ overcomes disadvantages through living, loving, and leadership. How often do you hear people *****ing "oh I'm ugly" "my clothes are in rags."

The best social animals I know take disadvantages in stride, they even turn them into advantages.

In case you're referring to my use of the word "game," I don't normally use this this word. I agree with you, I don't really like calling "expressing myself" a game. Challenging our personalities can improve our ability to express ourselves and rally women to our team - dressing down is just one way.

Izza

 

[aliasguy]

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I used to dress nice when i was AFCing all over the place. I dress like crap now, and I've never done better. I'm in T's and jeans most of the time. I do clean up nice occasionally, though.

Say what you will, but in my own experience, it really doesn't matter what you're wearing at any given time. Attitude, confidence, and game. That's what matters.

I will admit though, that for many guys, dressing nice will help with a subset of women, depending on WHERE you are (club, office, fancy ****tail party?)

I've just noticed that I'm doing just fine being comfortable. Screw it.

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[fertileTurtle]

I sometimes think the less attractive have a certain advantage over guys who think they're attractive (whether or not the ladies agree).


Izza

What's funny is that I've never been told I'm ugly. I've been complimented for my looks many times, but I'm a little eccentric, so often this makes me come across as unattractive.

I don't really care too much actually, I don't want to think of myself as better than someone on the basis of looks alone. I want to be better for many reasons, but that is not one of them.

I look good enough, so maybe some spoiled bittch or prickish American punk don't like the fact that I'm short, a little overweight and I'm still happy and confident around the women I am motivated by. I'm happy and that's all I give a rat's shhit fuuck about.

One thing about Americans is that they try too damn hard to be cool, ghetto fabulous, whatever you want to call it. Life is more that your damn prick-ahss image. People like that should just give themselves what they really want and go fvuck themselves.