"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Any chance of me saving face? I came off as insecure AFC...

Soprano

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I'll give you the cliff notes....

-- picture of girl im dating laying ontop of bed cuddling with guy she used to date and did "things" with, says absolutely nothing happened that night i believe that part completely, but still the cuddling on bed in pic happened.

-- i grill her about it...she says nothing happened...i say a lot of **** to her lol some of it i regret, she says im overreacting, says we arent in committed relationship just dating. i know if it was me and another girl she'd flip though.

-- i continue to grill her about it...i wasn't taking any sh!t and didnt say anything that sounded AFC, but I think i dragged it on too long and my actions were AFC even though my words werent. what i said was as close to telling her off as you get without actually saying '**** you'

-- we manage to talk things out.....im not gonna contact her first again, if she contacts me first i'll talk.

any way for me to save face? I'm kind of thinking I blew it....she was trying to justify her actions, I wasn't taking any b.s., but I think the way I handled the not taking b.s. was very AFC-like...
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Blown5.0

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There are a lot of guys that would have said something about what she did...just the same as you!

AFC?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Ice882

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Bible_Belt said:
i know if it was me and another girl she'd flip though.


so make her flip

good sh1t.
 

shaunuk

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A dude should always have the upper hand on a girl -- you should just make it part of how you roll such that you don't even have to think about it. Get caught with girls flirting with you etc...You know the score.
 

omega05

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Bible_Belt said:
i know if it was me and another girl she'd flip though.


so make her flip
i dont know though. if he tries that she might think it's out of spite
 

Rhoto

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omega05 said:
i dont know though. if he tries that she might think it's out of spite
As opposed to . . . ?

DTB Soprano, she's probably lying about "nothing happening" - or at least, lying to you.
 

onebigfatcat

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Why would she bring it up in the first place? How did that conversation go anyway? "Hey babe! How was your weekend?" "Oh, ok. Got my hair styled, when to a movie with my BFF, and snuggled on my bed with an ex-boyfriend that I used to screw."

She's trying to provoke a reaction. Would have been best to ignore her sure. But what's done is done, and you seem like too nice of a guy to screw her sister or her mom or best friend......I'm in agreement, flip it on her. Just tell her "first strike, end of conversation."
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Bible_Belt

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omega05 said:
i dont know though. if he tries that she might think it's out of spite

Exactly! Women should live in fear of you fvcking another girl if they treat you badly. The problem with most guys is that they either can't or won't, usually the former. There is usually an insecure AFC in every relationship, but if you are doing everything right it will be the woman who acts that way.
 

Ease

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she probably left it for you to see to **** test you

oooops
 

Ganondorf

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Dude who cares really. She is NOT your GF. She is NOT yours, so why worry

Like she said, she is not in a committed relationship, so she has no commitment to you what so ever

everyone makes mistakes, but you should never have even had an issue about it. You really had no right to be angry. it may irk you a bit, but don't let it get to you. after all, she's seeing others, you should be doing the same anyway.

Never put all you eggs in one basket for a chick who hasn't committed to you.
 

Soprano

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Ganondorf said:
Dude who cares really. She is NOT your GF. She is NOT yours, so why worry

Like she said, she is not in a committed relationship, so she has no commitment to you what so ever

everyone makes mistakes, but you should never have even had an issue about it. You really had no right to be angry. it may irk you a bit, but don't let it get to you. after all, she's seeing others, you should be doing the same anyway.

Never put all you eggs in one basket for a chick who hasn't committed to you.
yeah i know i def overreacted...now im just trying to see if theres any way to save face lol.....im pretty sure she thinks im like a really jealous or controlling person now and i dont blame her since i flipped out but i would def like to see if i can save face at all...

we chatted a little bit and she's still open... i just said some stuff as if the whole thing never happened and she laughed and responded the same as she did before it happened. but im sure she still thinks im a spaz lol. i didnt reply to the last message she sent, i didnt want to end our small talk after with me having the final word.


EDIT - and to who asked, the pic was put up on facebook by a friend and she was tagged in it.

just when i thought i had my game solid after all these years i do somethin like this ahah oh well theres always room for improvement and more learning.
 

Soprano

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Bible_Belt said:
Exactly! Women should live in fear of you fvcking another girl if they treat you badly.
****...i knew that too....why didnt i apply it instead of just spazzing :box:

my game with this chick was tighter than with any other chick I've ever dated...I hate that i wasted all of that rapport in one moment of weakness

i think i just gotta chalk this one up as a Loss....but i'd still like to see if there's any way to save face because this is a cool chick with a hot ass....anyone have any ideas?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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