Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Depends where you are. If you have no clue about ****tail history and booze culture, I would say take the class.Master Bates said:I've been thinking of it as well. But what's the best way to break into the bartending business? Is it worth it to go to a bartending school and getting a license?
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Master Bates said:Thanks for the advice. I'd be looking for jobs in the Madison WI area. I just thought it'd be a nice way to make some cash, meet people and improve my social skills. I've been wanting a job that would be conducive to meeting people and being social and keep me on my feet instead of boring me to death in a cubicle.
What's the best way to go about looking for jobs though? Just walk into bars and ask? look in the classifieds? And what is the 'training' process like.....do you go weeks with low pay or what?
Vulpine any good websites you can recommend? I haven't been finding much lately.Master Bates said:Any books you recommend to wanna-be bartenders? I might check some out at the library.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
LOL, stfu for a second plz...Amante Silvestre said:A close friend of mine made a lot of money doing this. So, yeah, it could pay off in the long haul if you're up for dealing with a lot of BS and poverty up front. But you should be warned that these guys who play up the role more then likely have been into it for years and earned their keep the hard way.
In the beginning, if you're lucky enough to get a job to begin with, you'll start off working the sh-t shifts that bring little if any tips and opportunities to meet people. Simply put, you'll work really f-cked up hours nobody else wants, tending to three, old, toothless cheap drunks that never tip and would love nothing more than to "score" with the fugly, 300 pound, sow ***** that gives out BJs freely in exchange for drunken love. Afterwords, you'll get to close up and clean up the pile of puke behind the toilet at 4 in the morning. *Joy!*
After you've proven that you love punishment for a wage well below poverty for longer than you had anticipated, you'll work your way up to slightly a bigger crowd. You'll get more love from attention hors looking for a free drink, and a whole lot less love from the two bikers that just cracked pool sticks over each others heads, which you'll have to break up. But you'll suck it up and love it, or at least appear so, because you're looking for that golden opportunity to pay off two months of back rent, and will gladly smile to get those tips you've been starving for all along.
Then one day, if you're really a glutton for punishment, you'll make it to prime time. You'll make the big bucks on a high capacity night full of even more BS. More attention hors. More fights. More puke to clean up at 4 in the morning. But it'll be worth it, because now you're actually making a living, paying bills and meeting people...at about the same salary you're probably making now. Maybe more if you're really ambitious, have no social life and love giving up your weekends (because that's where the money is made).
Of course, in the same amount of time it takes to get that far, you could earn a bachelors or masters degree, possibly even at the partial expense of your employer if they have a tuition assistance program. You also could be beefing up your 401K in the mean time, taking advantage of tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars in employer contributions over the long haul.
Brother, don't change careers just because you want to meet people and get laid more often. Weigh out all of the benefits and cons that your boring, piggish, corporate employer provides...things some shady, bar-owner who will more than likely be the first to give you a job with zero experience will not provide.
Want to meet more people? More women? Get a better social life first. Keep your day job.
Want to make a few extra dollars on your spare time? Then by all means, serve drinks and walk away from that BS whenever you want without crippling yourself financially.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.