Any advice for dealing with family?

[LimeSlush]

I know this forum consists a lot of how to deal with interactions with women and how to be alpha in your daily life with them. But I'm having issues with my brother and I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to deal with it without ending up just ignoring him at family functions and actually handling it like a man.

He's actually my step brother but we grew up together since we were young kids. About 6 years ago I had a brain aneurysm burst, I had to be rushed to the hospital and I almost died. It was basically a toss up for a week whether I'd live and I was there for 2 weeks till they found it and he did not come once to see me. After we both moved out we didn't see much of each other, different groups of friends different sides of the city. He never replies to any texts I send him but acts all interested in my life when were at a family gathering. When he met my gf for the first time, he actually messaged her on fb to talk about anxiety he was experiencing and opened up to her, but never told me any of it. He then just recently was supposed to travel for 3 months but had a breakdown or something after a month and flew home. Texted everyone in our family he was ok but didn't tell me anything. I actually found out from my sister he was back home. I have tried texting him lately, today I actually asked what his halloween costume was but didn't respond again. So what should I do here? I've done my best to try to have a relationship with him but it's clear he doesn't care so I'm hoping you guys can have some suggestions because I don't wanna just give him the cold shoulder and look like a *****.

 

[LimeSlush]

And I haven't confronted him about it because I know he's going to act like nothing is wrong and deny that there's any problem

 

[glass half full]

Every time you need some help with something, like moving stuff or building something, call and bug him. Maybe this will help get it out of him.

I'm going out on a limb and guessing maybe he resents some kind of extra attention you got when you had your ailment that you almost died from.

Or, maybe he's just one of "those" people that are better off ignored. If nothing else works, next time you both are at a gathering, just ignore him. Just walk away. Others will see it. He will either talk or stay silent. If the silent treatment continues, just totally ignore him. Some people are so proud that they just can't be dealt with.

 

[parkthebus]

Sounds like he couldn't give a toss about you and you're so emotionally invested in him that you won't admit it. Call him out on his behavior. Or better still, if you can, forget about him as he clearly doesn't spare a thought for you. Don't give to a taker.

 

[Tictac]

You do what you think is right.mtreat him and deal with him as you'd like to be dealt with. But don't 'call him out', judge him or complain to anyone.

You're the one saying that there is a problem. It's your feelings that are hurt not his or anyone else's. Accept him for who he is and how he behaves. That doesn't mean you have to like it.

 

[dustmuffin]

You can't change his behavior, only yours. If he doesn't reply to you reaching out then stop. It bothers you and is a negative influence.

Why in the hell did he message your gf about personal issues? He had just met her.

Anway, do what's best for you. I would ignore him outside of family functions. Be civil, I have relatives that I have reached out to and they haven't reciprocated. So I stopped. I still talk with them at functions. Just understand and accept what type of relationship you have.

 

[El Payaso]

He clearly doesn't want anything to do with you so no need to force the issue.

 

[LimeSlush]

Thanks fellas, I mean I know I can't change his behavior or who he is, I just think it's a shame. I don't know why it bothers me so much but I am going to not let it any more and just accept he doesn't care as much as I do.

 

[parkthebus]

Thanks fellas, I mean I know I can't change his behavior or who he is, I just think it's a shame. I don't know why it bothers me so much but I am going to not let it any more and just accept he doesn't care as much as I do.

Humans instinctually seek social acceptance as a survival mechanism. Hence why women are far more socially orientated than men. Being aware of why you feel a certain way can how you change your behaviour. Like an addict understanding the science behind why they crave a drug.