"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Anxiety

Paintballguy

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Any other DJ's out there have anxiety problems? The doctor recently diagnosed me with a general anxiety and panic disorder.

I can deal with it most of the time but it sucks because sometimes I cant sleep.

Just wondering if anyone else had the same problem.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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SamMalone

Senior Don Juan
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The answer to this problem is knowledge. I had this problem for years. I went to the doctors to get answer and help and they'll diagnose you, putting false beliefs in your head that you will subconsiously obey. No pills helped either. The only thing that helped me with my anxiety problem was reading. Philosophy. All different kinds. Eastern philosophies in particular helped me, but you may prefer a different type. There are advantages and disadvantages to each.

Also, know that your anxiety is that you are afraid of pain. However, true pain lies in the anticipation of the pain. It's creating negative energy for no reason. Sorrow isn't a bad thing anways. It strengthens the spirit. The only real sorrow is our belief that we do not have the strength inside to deal with the obstacles life throws at us.
 

thefonz

Master Don Juan
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I think reading up on Eastern Philosophy defenitly helps. It's something that you deal with through growing up.
 

STR8UP

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Took an anti depressant for awhile and it seems to have all but cured my anxiety issues. Now I take a Xanax type med that takes the edge off on an as needed basis. Makes me sleep like a BABY too.
 

insanity

Master Don Juan
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place to place.
i am no stranger to anxiety. i used to be agoraphobic/socialphobic times 1000. i laughed at a scene from the movie the benchwarmers where the guy in the closet wouldn't come out and he p@ssed in bottles because of his mental disorder(agoraphobia),.... i remember those days except i used beer bottles.

it sucked being stuck in my room because i hated people and what was beyond my four walls. one day a remember seeing a couple holding hands and walking down the street and i watched and wished that could be me someday. when my friends would come over and tell me whats going on at school, rumors, whose going out with who, whose pregnant...it all didn't matter anymore. i just stopped caring what was going on out there and started caring how the hell i was going to get out of my room.

then one day i just snapped and asked my mom to purchase me a plane ticket to alberta. she was really happy but she said if you can't go around here what makes you think you can make it in a big city? i told her i was going to start all over. i wanted to go to a place where nobody knew me and thats what i did. the funny thing was it worked. i left who i was at home and became what i wanted to be in a new city. when i came home to visit i was a new man.

sometimes to defeat anxiety you have to start fresh and new. leave everything you once knew behind. i think thats why some people just leave where they came from. thats why actors and muscians don't go by their real names....it's because thats who they use to be and now they are better than they were.

it works
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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