Anxiety about running into my ex

[lamath]

Motivational book can also help, im lazy i do audiobook but id recommend Tony Robbins,
Atm im on a biographie/self help/motivational
that guy got the right alpha mindset
David Goggins
Can't Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds

 

[corrector]

Some "interesting" break-up songs when those moments hit you:

(Don't you forget about me -- Simple Minds)

(One to One -- Angel in my Pocket)

You get the drift. Know a tonne of allot more but these songs are good for recapturing the feeling and in exaggerated and humorous way.

The irony is, allot of them are written or made by women talking about their man. Which that was our case not the other way around.

 

[corrector]

I stayed away from my ex successfully until I accidentally found her on a dating site 4 years after the break-up in New Zealand. She didn't reply back to my email and I basically asked her questions which were already answered on her own online dating profile. She basically said EVERYTHING about herself (i.e. what she was doing, what church she was going to, etc...) on her profile. I was partially relieved she didn't find anyone here and moved that far away from where I lived (i.e. Canada) that I didn't care to send an email at that point since, she's in New Zealand anyway, who cares, right?

The memories of the relationship felt totally cinematic. It was a 9 month long relationship but it ran like a movie. It didn't start out like I thought it was going to go anywhere, then it developed into something wonderful where the memories of the relationship itself outlasted the break-up and even a subsequent marriage/divorce with another woman and visiting two prostitutes. Even this last summer I visited some sites in a local city island that brought back memories of her. After the break-up I have like 43+ songs that I may have heard of before but now I connected to what they mean (i.e this was back in 2013). These days without any relationship or any close friends, there is not much of a soundtrack like before, and things are more stable.

For you it's still raw now, but over time, I think the memories will fade and maybe you'll get to a point of feeling Nostalgic rather than feeling too raw about it today. At least you had a relationship and don't have that issue of that level of a lack of experience.

 

[djthiago1]

I see my 3 exes every single day in campus, and guess what, i'm still alive and kicking.

 

[BondJamesBond424]

Read my thread about the same thing in The Mature Man section called: “Why did I react this way?”. https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/why-did-i-react-this-way.253629/#post-2584441

I have a theory. I think we care about how she thinks of us. Maybe you care about how she sees you. We don't want to be thought of as a loser who can't get or keep a girl. We don't want to be seen as a guy who can't get laid if our life depended on it. We don't want any woman to see us as a sexless stuffed animal.
Yet thats how I acted in my case. I was too afraid of coming off as a perv. So I went the 'nice guy' route and it totally bombed.
It's not that I have oneitis. But sometimes I'm consumed by thoughts of what she must think of me.
This chick cashiers at the store I seen her standing outside of. Is she flirting with the male customers the way she flirted with me? Is she telling other dudes who got her laid about me? About how I couldn't get the job done with getting her naked and laid?
I was fresh out of a relationship when she flirted with me. I was depressed with low self esteem. No experience dating women to get laid.
I thought going out to dates was the way to do it.
I didn't know that I was enough just the way I was. I didn't need to wine and dine her. All I had to do was step inside her truck and she would take care of the rest. But I missed it.

I don't think we have oneitis. I think we care too much about what one chick who rejected us thinks of us.
We have to hold ourselves up as the prize. Truth be told these women sure ain't no prize. Cuz along with that wet hole there's a lot of headache.
I'd suggest to stop looking at and/or fapping to porn.
When I stopped that even for awhile what I thought of myself got better.
Alternatively, now that I know where she works, I can walk around with a chick there or even go into the store to buy something with my current plate hanging onto my arm. Not so much to get any type of 'revenge' but just to neutralize in my own mind what I think she must be thinking of me.
Let her see you with another girl.

Read my thread cited above. Hope I could help.