"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Answering your own questions (not easy to do!)

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Don Juan
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Note: Please don't read this post as a request to stop using SoSuave; this is a great place for people to help people. ;)

Lately I’ve been reading some trivial requests for advice. For some reason, the answers to these questions seem clear and simple, even though I personally have found myself in similar situations and yet was still puzzled as to what do to. What’s the difference?

Perspective.

When you’re in a seemingly mind-bending situation (which of course involves a female), STOP and THINK. It’s not easy, but if you simply calm down and try to step outside of yourself, you will probably stumble upon your own solution. Due to your emotions involved in the circumstances, you might try to cut corners or make up excuses in order to give yourself the “words of wisdom” you WANT to hear, but you should go with what you know is true despite the feelings of discomfort you may experience. It’s natural that you want a win-win solution to what is bothering you, but it’s inevitable that you will get the same, hard truth if you were to ask people from this forum for advice. Be honest with yourself.

I’ve found that it’s key to regularly monitor your actions during the early/middle stages of getting to know or “seducing” a girl, as these are the times when showing too much attention (generally being "nice"/AFC, etc.) can really hurt your chances. As a matter of fact, acting AFC at any time is horrible for you. What would the people at SoSuave say if you called her every day? If you were always available? If you stopped being ****y/funny after your first few dates just because you let your guard down and felt like she was already yours? NO. Have some discipline and work hard to optimize your game! :)
 
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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