Answering Igetit!, here's a example of my interactions with women, analyze away

[Kal0051]

Since you asked for details then I'll do my best to describe my interaction with the last girl to reject me.

I met her when she started at my part-time job (bout a month ago). We chatted once in a while during her first couple weeks. She seemed fairly interested in my old job (army officer) and started convos about it on a couple occasions (but they never lasted long because I was busy).

Then one day when it was slow we sat down and had a longer talk. We talked about our education, our other jobs (this job is just a extra job for both of us), and such. She asked me questions about my old job again. Found out she has a cool full time job. Anyway, at the end of the talk we exchange numbers.

I don't call her the next week because I'm busy. See her at work the next weekend and invite her out to grab a drink with me and a couple other people, but she has plans with her friend. Anyway, I send her a text later just to see what's up. We text a few times that night.

The next week I send her a text, again we text a few times about how our week's going. Then I send her a text asking if she'd like to meet up for a drink later in the week. Never get a response for her. I did send her one more text a little while after saying "see you at work" and she responds to that (apparently she just chose to ignore the text about asking her for a drink).

So is that detailed enough for you? Most of the other interactions with women went about the same. Anything seems good til I ask them out then they ignore me.

Edit: I should add that this girl was texting one of the other guys I work with to get a drink with her one night. They didn't go that night because she ended up working late but still.

 

[Igetit!]

You CAN'T BE serious with this. This example seems too random. It seems like something that would happen every now and then.


This can't be how your interactions with girls GENERALLY go.


For one,this is a girl you met on your job. Are you saying you GENERALLY/are in the habit of trying to set up dates with girls you work with?


That's bad dude,but you know what? I'll go with it.


I'll go with the info you've provided.

Since you asked for details then I'll do my best to describe my interaction with the last girl to reject me.

I met her when she started at my part-time job (bout a month ago). We chatted once in a while during her first couple weeks. She seemed fairly interested in my old job (army officer) and started convos about it on a couple occasions (but they never lasted long because I was busy).

You say you met her a month ago,and you chatted for the first couple of weeks. Ok,in these "chats" you had with her,did you flirt with her? Also.why did you wait a month to ask her out?


I'm sure you've must have heard this a thousand times already:Women make decisions about guys within the first few minutes of knowing them.


The BEST chance you have at gaining a girl's interest is when you FIRST MEET HER,or in other words...DON'T WAIT A MONTH TO ASK A GIRL OUT.


The more time that you spend in a girl's presence NOT SHOWING INTEREST,the GREATER the chance you'll NEVER date her.



Don't get me wrong:I'm 100% against dating in the workplace,but I asked for how your interaction with girls generally go,and this workplace scenario is what you gave me.

Then one day when it was slow we sat down and had a longer talk. We talked about our education, our other jobs (this job is just a extra job for both of us), and such. She asked me questions about my old job again. Found out she has a cool full time job.

A...C...S,attraction,comfort,seduction.


I see the "Comfort",but where the attraction? I can't believe you can't see what's wrong here. You two talked about school,work,family and friends...which is fine.



But where's the attraction? Busting on her,teasing her,negging her...where is it? With the kind of convo you have here,you must fall into the friendzone quite often.




You have an excess of comfort with little to no attraction.

I don't call her the next week because I'm busy. See her at work the next weekend and invite her out to grab a drink with me and a couple other people, but she has plans with her friend. Anyway, I send her a text later just to see what's up. We text a few times that night.

The next week I send her a text, again we text a few times about how our week's going. Then I send her a text asking if she'd like to meet up for a drink later in the week. Never get a response for her. I did send her one more text a little while after saying "see you at work" and she responds to that (apparently she just chose to ignore the text about asking her for a drink).

All the rest of this is predictable. You've heard me say a BILLION TIMES that women are emotional. In all these "chats" and conversations you've had with this girl over the past month,what feelings or emotions have you generated in her?


Has she felt anything? I'm sure she likes you and thinks you're a good person,but I'm not talking about that.


What I mean is this: Does her being around you and talking to you produce any feeling in her?

Anything seems good til I ask them out then they ignore me.

If everything seems to fall apart at the point of you asking them out,then that means whatever you did (or didn't do) preceeding and LEADING UP TO THAT POINT was wrong.


You were on the wrong path THE WHOLE TIME with these girls. You just didn't realize it until you asked them out.


There's really nothing here that can't be fixed,I don't know why you seem so hopeless.

 

[Kal0051]

I do flirt with these girls a bit. And I waited a month because I don't work with her that much, maybe once or twice a week. Plus I'm not at work to pick up girls (though other guys I work with are there for that).

As for the example, I gave this because it was the most recent and I can remember the interaction the best. I'm not some loser that keeps a log of every conversation or encounter with women.

I'm fvcking done with this website if you think the reason I can't get women is because I don't do every little thing perfectly. I see other guys getting women so easily so there must be something wrong with me. Fvck it, I'm done with women.

 

[Igetit!]

I do flirt with these girls a bit.

Ok,when you flirt,what do you say...EXACTLY?

Also,how do YOU feel when you're talking to these girl? Are you nervous?

Please don't ask me why I'm asking this,I KNOW WHY,just trust me and answer it.

And I waited a month because I don't work with her that much, maybe once or twice a week. Plus I'm not at work to pick up girls

I know you don't go to work to pick up girls. that's why I was surprised when you sprung this work type scenario on me when I asked for an example of you basic interactions with girls.

I'm not some loser that keeps a log of every conversation or encounter with women.

I know this,but if virtually everytime you talk with a girl it ends up as you described here,it shouldn't be that difficult to recount your interactions with them since they all end in the same way.

I'm fvcking done with this website if you think the reason I can't get women is because I don't do every little thing perfectly.

dude,NOBODY does everything perfectly. It's not,"Kino...check. Neg? Check. Tease her? Check". It's not like that.



I was just trying to see where you were going wrong,that's all.

I see other guys getting women so easily so there must be something wrong with me.

This is the second time you've said this. You keep thinking that there's something wrong with you.


THAT'S your problem.


You really think there's something wrong with you,don't you?


So when will everything be "OK" with you? When you ask a girl out and she says yes?


That's your problem. You're waiting for someone else (a girl) to be ok with you,BEFORE you'll be ok with yourself.


So let me guess...


If a "hot" girl smiles at you,you feel good about yourself,but if she's rude or cold,you feel bad about yourself.



You're a puppet. You let women who are COMPLETE STRANGERS decided FOR YOU how you feel about yourself by the way they respond to your show of interest.



Your problem is two-fold:You have weak innergame and a lack of understanding about how attraction works for women.



These two things are reciprical. If you understood female sexual attraction,it would help you to develop a stronger innergame,and if you had a strong innergame you'd NATURALLY be more attractive to women...WITHOUT EVEN TRYING.

Fvck it, I'm done with women.

Quit fooling yourself,no you're not.

Don't worry man,we can get this thing on track...and i'm not just saying that,I MEAN IT.


It"ll take some uprooting of some thoughts you have in your mind,but it'd doable.


But you will HAVE TO BE WILLING to do say some things to women that seem down right bizzare,stuff that you'd think would get you slapped.



At first,it won't make since,but when I explain it to you,you'll "get it".

 

[Kal0051]

Ok,when you flirt,what do you say...EXACTLY?

Also,how do YOU feel when you're talking to these girl? Are you nervous?

Please don't ask me why I'm asking this,I KNOW WHY,just trust me and answer it.

No, I don't feel all that nervous when I'm talking to girls. I sometimes get nervous when I approach, but that's understandable. But it usually goes away once I start interacting with her.

I know you don't go to work to pick up girls. that's why I was surprised when you sprung this work type scenario on me when I asked for an example of you basic interactions with girls.

I know this,but if virtually everytime you talk with a girl it ends up as you described here,it shouldn't be that difficult to recount your interactions with them since they all end in the same way.

Yes the all end in the same way but it's sometimes hard to remember the specifics about our interaction: where I meet her, how I approached her, what exactly we talked about.

dude,NOBODY does everything perfectly. It's not,"Kino...check. Neg? Check. Tease her? Check". It's not like that.



I was just trying to see where you were going wrong,that's all.




This is the second time you've said this. You keep thinking that there's something wrong with you.


THAT'S your problem.


You really think there's something wrong with you,don't you?


So when will everything be "OK" with you? When you ask a girl out and she says yes?


That's your problem. You're waiting for someone else (a girl) to be ok with you,BEFORE you'll be ok with yourself.


So let me guess...


If a "hot" girl smiles at you,you feel good about yourself,but if she's rude or cold,you feel bad about yourself.



You're a puppet. You let women who are COMPLETE STRANGERS decided FOR YOU how you feel about yourself by the way they respond to your show of interest.



Your problem is two-fold:You have weak innergame and a lack of understanding about how attraction works for women.



These two things are reciprical. If you understood female sexual attraction,it would help you to develop a stronger innergame,and if you had a strong innergame you'd NATURALLY be more attractive to women...WITHOUT EVEN TRYING.

No, I truely don't think there's anything wrong with me. In fact I know I have a lot to offer, but it confuses the fvck out of me when these women respond to me in such a negative way. Sometimes it's hard to not wonder if there is indeed something wrong with me, because that would explain a lot.

Quit fooling yourself,no you're not.

Don't worry man,we can get this thing on track...and i'm not just saying that,I MEAN IT.


It"ll take some uprooting of some thoughts you have in your mind,but it'd doable.


But you will HAVE TO BE WILLING to do say some things to women that seem down right bizzare,stuff that you'd think would get you slapped.



At first,it won't make since,but when I explain it to you,you'll "get it".

I do think I'm done with women. I originally joined this site because I thought that I was missing out in life because I had no success with women (though I was happy with my life). And I was convinced that it's possible to become good with women. But although I've done my damndest, nothing has produced any results. And honestly, when I hear about how easy other guys have it (even just average guys with average results) it kinda makes me depressed. I'm not used to losing, I'm usually at the top of whatever I do.

 

[DonGorgon]

I dont flirt..lol seems a waist of time..

 

[slaog]

I'm fvcking done with this website if you think the reason I can't get women is because I don't do every little thing perfectly. I see other guys getting women so easily so there must be something wrong with me. Fvck it, I'm done with women.

Women want real men not boys who refuse to take responsibility for their lives, whinges and quits when the going gets "tough".


I'd suggest you actually learn how to attract women before you go out and look for numbers. It clearly isn't working but attraction is easy once you know how and start practising it. At least learn some basics and then learn from your mistakes.

 

[Ritch]

...

I do flirt with these girls a bit. And I waited a month because I don't work with her that much, maybe once or twice a week. Plus I'm not at work to pick up girls (though other guys I work with are there for that).

As for the example, I gave this because it was the most recent and I can remember the interaction the best. I'm not some loser that keeps a log of every conversation or encounter with women.

I'm fvcking done with this website if you think the reason I can't get women is because I don't do every little thing perfectly. I see other guys getting women so easily so there must be something wrong with me. Fvck it, I'm done with women.

You were an Army officer? You must be admin. That attitude would never make it on the line.

 

[Kal0051]

You were an Army officer? You must be admin. That attitude would never make it on the line.

I worked as an engineering officer.

 

[Nexus Polaris]

I'm not used to losing, I'm usually at the top of whatever I do.

I think this might be your problem right here. Ego. Ego is a motherfücker. It will hold you back from success with just about anything it gets involved in. You must learn how to put it in check if you want to grow and learn. It's hard at first, but with practice it gets easier.

You came here in the first place because you wanted to change something in your life that you weren't 100% content with. That's a very positive step. But leaving now without fully committing yourself to it and following through to the end will be nothing more than cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Stick it out, man. I promise you'll be glad you did.

 

[Warrior74]

Originally Posted by Kal0051
I'm fvcking done with this website if you think the reason I can't get women is because I don't do every little thing perfectly. I see other guys getting women so easily so there must be something wrong with me. Fvck it, I'm done with women.

What happens to quitters? And why so emotional over a website? Because you want something and you don't know how to get it. You have to humble yourself and take your lumps. One does not simply wake up as the man, you work for it like everything else. Are you someone who puts in work, or expects things to be easy? Everything in life won't be easy. Stop expecting this to be. This is your challenge, if the rest of your life is easy, then this is your area in life to grow and challenge yourself, be glad everything else is easy so you can focus on this.

Cut the whining soldier and get to work.

 

[Igetit!]

Yes the all end in the same way but it's sometimes hard to remember the specifics about our interaction:

I understand this,but the one constant in each of these interactions is YOU.


The questions I asked are about YOU. I'm trying to see how you interact with girls.

No, I truely don't think there's anything wrong with me. In fact I know I have a lot to offer, but it confuses the fvck out of me when these women respond to me in such a negative way. Sometimes it's hard to not wonder if there is indeed something wrong with me, because that would explain a lot.

Ok,you see the part I put in bold?

I understand what you mean by that. What you're saying is that if you repeatedly get turned down by women,it'll make you think there's something wrong with you,but you don't get it....



I guarantee you the reason you're having problems IS NOT BECAUSE there's something wrong with you,it's because YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG.



I know this because I went through THE EXACT SAME THING.



What I did was decide that I'm ok,that I'm a good person simply because I EXIST....period,that what makes me a good person was ME+zero.




You need to change your attitude NOW. Quit waiting for some "chick" to give you an IOI so you can finally think you're somebody.



You got it backwards....


You don't get a girl,then become happy. You become happy FIRST,then you'll get the girl.


Women are attracted to guys who are fun,alive,energetic,who have passion,NOT to guys who mope around with their heads hung down giving off vibes of "Please like me! Please like me!".



You say you've tried and tried. Well,I have some suggestions I KNOW you haven't tried.




You DO KNOW that in order for you to improve,you'll have to do some things that are new to you,things that you aren't comfortable with.




But first,you'll need to get your thinking re-wired because it's YOUR CURRENT WAY OF THINKING that's leading you to these dead ends.

 

[Kal0051]

Well I've decided to stop trying with women for the time being. Once I'm feeling better and where women don't affect me negatively then I'll start trying again. But I am curious, what are these things I haven't tried?

 

[Igetit!]

Well I've decided to stop trying with women for the time being. Once I'm feeling better and where women don't affect me negatively then I'll start trying again. But I am curious, what are these things I haven't tried?

Directness. Bluntness.

Showing your interest DIRECTLY.


Don't buy into that lie of,"If she finds out I like her,then she won't like me".



This is why some guys hide their interest,but they don't get it....



It's not showing your interest that's the problem,it's showing your interest in an AFC WAY.



It's showing your interest by putting her on a pedistal.




Both AFCs and DJs show interest in women,it's the way they do it that sets them apart from each other.

 

[Giles]

Go boomhower and practice practice try to pick up ten women in a day everywhere you see one. You'll get rejections, but 1 in a hundred are pretty good odds ten days ten women you can do it. Challege yourself to get better instead of complaining you're done with this site when you're the one whom this site should be done with if you have an attitude like that. Change your perspective.

 

[Giles]

and I agree with everything Igetit says

 

[thecurtainfalls]

Wow, you are getting some absolutely golden fvcking advice from Igetit in this thread. He took the time to write all that, I hope one day you can sit down and gain some perspective on some of the truths in there.