"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Another one bites the dust

cognac

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Just recently I went on a few dates with a woman I've been talking with. The first date was awesome, kiss close and some heavy petting but then at the end of the second date she tells me she is going through a divorce and that she has a 4 year old boy and then starts blabbing about how her soon to be ex husband could never trust her and was always spying on her and some other bs about finances due to her having a crap job because her ex was making all the money. Then tells me she is looking for a serious relationship but doesn't know what she wants exactly.

Holy crapola. Exactly what the hell is wrong with these women? Going through a divorce and going on dates and saying they want a serious relationship when a divorce is lingering:crazy: . Needless to say deletion from my life.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Colossus

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Yeah man this is pretty common. The thing is divorces are usually long, drawn out ordeals. And practically, you cant really blame someone for wanting to get on with their life. If you had split up from your wife after some terrible years you'd probably be pumped to get out there and just feel normal again. I mean who wants to wait the 1-2 years it can take for everything to get legally finalized?

In any case, these women are undateable; but try not to be too judgmental because this is just the way it is. There are so many women--and men-- out there who are paddling from the island of marriage back to the mainland. Just next immediately because they wont be enriching your life.
 

sodbuster

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I wasn't worth sh1t while going through my divorce,so I wouldn't have dated me. BUT for some reason, women find a guy quick and get in a relationship ASAP. She may be gone when she's finally decent to be around because somebody will snag her on the rebound.
 

Mr.Positive

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cognac said:
Just recently I went on a few dates with a woman I've been talking with. The first date was awesome, kiss close and some heavy petting but then at the end of the second date she tells me she is going through a divorce and that she has a 4 year old boy and then starts blabbing about how her soon to be ex husband could never trust her and was always spying on her and some other bs about finances due to her having a crap job because her ex was making all the money. Then tells me she is looking for a serious relationship but doesn't know what she wants exactly.

Holy crapola. Exactly what the hell is wrong with these women? Going through a divorce and going on dates and saying they want a serious relationship when a divorce is lingering:crazy: . Needless to say deletion from my life.
First, well done on finding all this out on the second date. It usually takes me 3, and the goal is of course on the first date. :up:

She's probably had her ego bruised by the divorce, and looking for anything to repair it..this means jumping into a relationship ASAP. It's a diversion, for a lot of women don't have the strength to fix their situation, they look for someone else to do it for them.

Either way, life's too short to inherit a bunch of drama from gals like this.
 

cognac

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So she is basically looking for some guy to just dump all her bs from her failed marriage onto and then basically split when she has drained him of his sanity?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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jophil28

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cognac said:
Holy crapola. Exactly what the hell is wrong with these women? Going through a divorce and going on dates and saying they want a serious relationship when a divorce is lingering:crazy: . Needless to say deletion from my life.
Yeh, I struck that situation several times.
Women who are separating are stuck deep in 'victim' mode. They are overwhelmed by their feelings of being "let down" by the guy. The circumstances of the breakup are irrelevant to them. "He Bad - Me good " sums up their interpretation of how and why their marriage ended.

Needless to say these women are totally unfit for consideration for anything above booty call status.
 

cognac

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The sad part is some guy is gonna fall for this victim bs. Which it pretty much is cuz she said he accused her of cheating on him whenever she went out or he went a business trip. lol. From the way she talked about it his intuitions about her cheating were probably right. Said that she asked for the divorce. Frakkin mental case. Shiat cracked me up though.
 

jophil28

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cognac said:
The sad part is some guy is gonna fall for this victim bs.
Just make sure that "some guy" is not you.....

Man, could I tell you some stories about how much twisted BS that I have heard from divorced women. They are experts at crafting their own version of their marriage difficulties to skillfully exclude themselves from any fault or wrongdoing. The problem is this- by the time she tells the story to YOU she has told it numerous times to her mother, her sisters, her girlfriends and her coworkers, and she has come to believe it all.
So, when she tries to draw you into hearing the same self serving, self righteous melodrama, it sounds quite plausible because it has been polished and fine tuned in many previous performances.
 

Warrior74

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jophil28 said:
Just make sure that "some guy" is not you.....

Man, could I tell you some stories about how much twisted BS that I have heard from divorced women. They are experts at crafting their own version of their marriage difficulties to skillfully exclude themselves from any fault or wrongdoing. The problem is this- by the time she tells the story to YOU she has told it numerous times to her mother, her sisters, her girlfriends and her coworkers, and she has come to believe it all.
So, when she tries to draw you into hearing the same self serving, self righteous melodrama, it sounds quite plausible because it has been polished and fine tuned in many previous performances.
This. I can attest first hand from the stories my ex told about me. I was the devil if you let her tell it.
 

bluenorther

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I keep running into these women, and they're the sweetest, kindest types you could want to know. They are Victim Chicks, usually surrounded by protective women-friends.
My last ex was the same way, except her friends were genuinely thrilled when they outed us.
It lasted four months until I got the "I need time" talk. Today she refuses to speak to me.
I get a few months of awesome sex with these dames, before they totally call it quits with romance.
It's too bad, at my age, women like this are pretty much the rule, not the exception.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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jophil28

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bluenorther said:
I keep running into these women, and they're the sweetest, kindest types you could want to know. They are Victim Chicks, usually surrounded by protective women-friends.
You might wanna research 'BPD as Waif'.

Dude, the sweetness is a contrivance.
Why do they act like that ? Because it works.
 
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cognac

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Yup. She was trying to pull that damsel in distress crapola with me. Told me she has guys hitting on her all the time and that most of her good friends are guys. lol. Has hardly any money because she can't find a good job. Frakkin retarded. I feel sorry for the kid though having to go through this type of crapola the rest of his life. He's gonna grow up to be a total mental wreck if she gets custody.
 
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