"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Another issue for me is...

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being unrealistic, esp about women,dating,and sex. But, due to what seems like years of inexperience due to shyness or lazyness, I feel like I don't even have an understanding of myself almost. I mean, how does this happen? Like why didn't my first time and such happen sooner?, or am i putting too much emphasis on this?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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aner

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Most of us are fed unrealistic expectations of relationships, friendships, and even our own self-worth and abilities--by media, parents, teachers, even ourselves. And while I think it's good that you're asking questions (and you're even being critical of the questions you ask, which is interesting), it's too easy to become cynical--that's a well traveled road and I've been there too. The real winner in a confusing and changing social world is the one who rolls with the punches, looks forward, gets back on his feet, tweaks his method, tries again.

Didn't get laid for a long time? So what? You can make up for 20 years of inexperience with a single month out there. Monogamy is a dying social practice? So be it, if the dating world is now a free market, you'll make sure you win.
 
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Well, I don't know if it's me being fed unrealistic expectations, or me creating them on my own. I wonder if this is me placing all my own self worth into how much i do, or don't, get laid.

i mean, I read about how everyone,guys and chicks, first did it with they're s.o at 16,dated,then broke up, or have had this many partners, and all that, and I feel rather embarrassed by my own inexperience that I can't even find a way to play the game so to say, perhaps I am so afraid of others reactions, I can't find the will, and that is a bad thing. Even throughout early 20's, most people have seemingly had more experience than me.


I mean, all I really wanted was to meet someone and have things happen, but it seems as time goes on, it gets harder and harder as everyone else is seemingly moving forward.

I mean,reading stuff like this, http://www.feministing.com/archives/012770.html almost makes me realise how much of what I have been doing wrong.
 
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I have alot more to post, about myself, and observations of and in the world, but it's late, and I am too tired to think right now. So more in due time...
 
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