Another 'girl help' thread!

[AJL]

Hey guys, I'm after a bit of help with a female I am currently persuing! Hopefully I can get some good advice. Please be aware, I know that some of what you are going to read is going to make you cringe. What I am wondering is if I can salvage anything from the mess.


Alright, so I am 17, almost 18. Last year I was a MAJOR AFC. I blew so many opportunities and messed so many things up. Lately (this year) I have gotten much better, had a girlfriend etc.

The story begins last year. There was this girl, for the purpose of this we'll call her Lucy. When I first met her I thought was was pretty cute, but didn't persue her at all. Shortly after, I really began to like Lucy's friend. This is where the really bad AFC-ness began. Every mistake I could possibly make with this girl, I did. I won't list every mistake I made, but basically there were too many to count. A few times I asked Lucy for advice and got 'support' from her.

Things didn't end up going well with Lucy's friend (unsurprisingly). Some of the mistakes I made and whatnot still frustrate me to this day, but I learned a lot so whatever.

Lately I have been talking to Lucy a bit and I have began to fancy her a bit. She has changed a lot since last year, as have I.


My question is, what can I possibly do? She has seen me portray some terrible AFC behavior, I am probably deeply entrenched in the friendzone. Should I go for it or just give up and find somebody else?

Thanks

 

[Semtex]

you have to go into detail with the so called mistakes...I want to know what kind of mistakes you made, and Lucy witnessed. In a way, it could help with whatever course of action you may need to take, or if its not worth salvaging.

 

[AJL]

you have to go into detail with the so called mistakes...I want to know what kind of mistakes you made, and Lucy witnessed. In a way, it could help with whatever course of action you may need to take, or if its not worth salvaging.

Basically the worst of it was Lucy encouraging me to 'ask her out', me being all "I can't do it "

Basically in short, me coming across as a pathetic loser who cannot so much as talk to a girl.

(Luckily this is not the case anymore)

 

[Semtex]

TBH and I could be wrong, but the last thing a girl who likes you would do is to 'encourage' you to ask another girl out. The very fact that she participated in that process makes me think you're in LJBF zone permanently. This is more binding more so than the notion that you came out like some pathetic loser according to you.

Your best bet is to maintain your friendship with her, and to use her as 'social proof' so that in the future, other girls (that you'll approach) see you with her, and wonder to themselves that there must be something interesting about you if another girl is willing to be spending time with you.

Its actually quite good to have a female friend btw. If only for the social proof and access to other females.

 

[Cinamon]

When I was 16 and at college and going through an awkward phase, the guy i fancied, fancied one of my friends, so i encouraged him to ask her out, knowing she would knock him back, thinking I could be the good friend he would lean on for support afterwards and maybe we would get close (you know, like it happens in the movies). He asked her out, got rejected, dropped out of college and I didnt see him again.

If you like Lucy and think it will work, go for it, but for it to work, you will need to make her feel more important than the girl from last year. Is she still friends with this other girl? I dont think I could date anyone that asked my friend out first, unless the friend had long disappeared.