Another EGO trip - judging a girl based on who she slept with before you

[Amazing]

You know how it goes, there is a chick you like or just want to bang, and then you hear a story or five about other guys she's supposedly banged. And you go "him? really?"

Now what I usually did at this point is somewhere along "what a wh0re with low standards, do not want"

but really, everyone who hooks up at some point sleeps with someone below their "standards" whatever that means to you - some people sleep with someone just because they needed a place to stay that night, and seeing how girls have a lot more reasons (imo) to sleep with a guy (like getting another guy jealous - we as men don't do this) I think the right mindset is to say "yeah, so what, do *I* want her?"

For me I think the line is am I at a higher chance to catch an STD (are any of the previous dudes druggies or **** anything that moves) and that's about it.

Getting caught up on her past instead of sleeping with her like you wanted to is just your own Ego getting in the way. Imagine if you were being judged on some random fatty that one night you got too drunk - that would suck!



For LTR I believe mindset is more or less the same, but I can't comment, may be some of you who had been with a cool girl and found out she had slept around in the past can comment on how and if it changed anything in the dynamics of the relationship

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Words of wisdom.. Do not trust your friends 100% when they say "That girl sleeps around town".

Take their words into consideration always, but find out the facts for yourself. A lot of the time, they may just be bitter because that girl did not sleep with THEM. This happens very often in highschool or undergrad college situations.

Most of the dudes that will waste their time sparking rumors about girls may be AFC themselves and just bitter about it. Who knows though, the girl might be a skank...

 

[Amazing]

Words of wisdom.. Do not trust your friends 100% when they say "That girl sleeps around town".

Take their words into consideration always, but find out the facts for yourself. A lot of the time, they may just be bitter because that girl did not sleep with THEM. This happens very often in highschool or undergrad college situations.

Most of the dudes that will waste their time sparking rumors about girls may be AFC themselves and just bitter about it. Who knows though, the girl might be a skank...

Funny story because this thread was started because of one of the girls I know who likes me.. I was talking to a guy last night who banged her and he named like 5 others.

so I had one of those guys he named walk up and I asked him "so you slept with her too?"

and the guy is like "no! I wish!!"


So you get a + for insight, the problem might be going around asking everyone if they did actually sleep with THAT girl

 

[sexysuave]

Well, if you're just trying to hit it, then I don't see what's stopping you. Instead of saying "him? really?" think "oh, so and so hit it, no reason I can't either". Get out of the negative mindstate lol. Just make sure you wear protection of course. And hell, if all you're trying to do is hit it, at least you know that she (apparently) isn't that hard to get, so you wont' waste a ton of time into her.

As far as LTR, you have to be slightly more careful there. Don't get into one quick with girls like this. It does to a certain extent change your opinion when you start finding out how many boyfriends she's had. I'm with a girl now who's had quite a few boyfriends, and I didn't know this at the beginning. (she also has some personality disorder as well, so you have to be REALLY careful and find out who you're dealing with before you become too serious). Now, I don't CARE what she's done in the past, BUT there are limits. When you start finding out that this chick did a WHOLE LOT more than normal girls would do, then you have to start wondering if everything up there is in tact. Some of these girls might just be nymphos, and some might have some personality disorders. I would advise against LTRs with either.

I would say, go for it, and definitely hit it, but do NOT, I repeat do NOT see her more than once a week, twice tops!! And do not text or talk to her on the phone everyday either. This way, you are making sure that she doesn't fall for you and starts getting serious feelings for you AND vice versa. You wanna make sure this chick is stable if you would like to pursue a relationship with her. Also, does it bother you that she had all those other guys? This is something that's up to you. If you can live with it, than go for it. Just make sure she doesn't have a few screws missing.

 

[st_99]

Its probably a mute point. There are many things, that are right in front of you to see, you can base her character on besides who she had sex with.

-is she an addict?
-is her house gross?
-does she talk to her parents?
-who does she hang out with?
-any higher education?
-etc, etc, etc...

you don't even need to bother with the sex thing because all you need to know is in plain sight for you to see.

 

[Scars]

I am guilty of this at times.

Without getting too detailed, it only really sways my decisions in potential LTR scenarios. If I want to bang a girl, I could care less.

The worst though, is already being in a relationship and finding out later that she slept with a person who is questionable, a former enemy, or someone you feel is completely below you.

This happened in my past relationship. Found out that she had slept with an enemy of mine. Only made me wanted to kick his ass even more.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

Gotta give my input on this.

I don't care how many people a woman has slept with. In general, women who've slept with many men (more than the average 6) are far better with me in a relationship situation than those who've only had a couple of experiences.

Women who've slept with many men are desireable to me for a few reasons:

1. It demonstrates that she doesn't view sex as some sacramental thing which binds us in a relationship as soon as I get my DCiK wet.
2. She probably gives decent head.
3. She probably knows what she likes, so that we can both enjoy the experiemce.
4. She probably doesn't get nervous about the actual act of sex, letting us develop or display chemistry far sooner in bed.

I'd rather date a stvt than a prude!

 

[Gray The Prince]

This thread is almost certainly going to degenerate into a mud-slinging rant between the white knighters who *don't judge* and the other extreme who call all women *wh0res*.

Having said that, if you are talking about just sleeping with a chic.....I don't care how many or who she has had. If i want to fvk her, I will still fvk her.

BUT.....it makes a huge difference if we are talking about a relationship. Now this is not about being insecure as the white knights would have people believe, it is more about finding a woman who has the self-control to not let her feelings lead her down every path that looks enticing.

The reason that is important is because it will tell you which women are more likely to think before acting. While I do not dispute that there is no perfect angel, I think it is more than reasonable to recognize that some women are more likely to sleep around than others and I would bet if we had access to true numbers it would likely appear as a bell curve with the majority of women in the middle, some uber sluts, and some uber prudes.

If you are going to commit to one woman, it makes a helluva difference where your woman resides on that bell curve if you are most interested in avoiding divorce, cuckoldry or disrespect.

age: 29

 

[korwinn]

a lot of opinions here. As mentioned if you're just trying to bang her out it shouldn't really matter because it's mutually satisfying a need. If you catch feelings for the girl than it's a total different situation. In that case I like to believe ignorance is bliss, and also everyone has a past and one shouldn't judge them on it. It's what happens right now that matters. Yea it can suck, but in reality there's no rational reason to be angry or jealous of a girls previous encounters. As mentioned I am sure you've had your share of experiences too.

Just don't think about it. If sex is what you want then cool. If you like her then just enjoy the time you spend together

 

[korwinn]

Lol and if worried -- CONDOMS -- it'll help avoid the next day shower of shame.

 

[xs_]

Gotta give my input on this.

I don't care how many people a woman has slept with. In general, women who've slept with many men (more than the average 6) are far better with me in a relationship situation than those who've only had a couple of experiences.

Women who've slept with many men are desireable to me for a few reasons:

1. It demonstrates that she doesn't view sex as some sacramental thing which binds us in a relationship as soon as I get my DCiK wet.
2. She probably gives decent head.
3. She probably knows what she likes, so that we can both enjoy the experiemce.
4. She probably doesn't get nervous about the actual act of sex, letting us develop or display chemistry far sooner in bed.

I'd rather date a stvt than a prude!

I agree with this. But everything has to be within reasonable limits. 6+ is already too much for my liking.

I think its cos men are more territorial, this is in our blood.