Korrupt said:
Grabbed drinks with a girl last Wednesday and had a great time. Made out with her in the bar and at her car before she left. After the date I texted her "tonight was fun. Drive safe, *name*" and she replied "Whoah. You spelled my name right. This is not a frequent occurrence. And thank you for tonight- it was so nice to just laugh and not feel awkward on a first date."
I hit her up a couple days later about going out this Wednesday, and she responded saying she couldn't and didn't offer up another day. Cutting to the chase, I asked her when she was free. Literally 24 hours later she responds saying "maybe Tuesday? They are reorganizing the schedule now to get me the hours I need. Umph. Keep you posted." I didn't respond and have yet to hear anything from her. It's literally impossible to date these "online girls." She's 27.
Ugh, so many mistakes made, where do I even begin...
First, let me say this: contrary to what another poster said earlier, not everyone has problems getting dates online. When I was heavy into it I was able to set up a minimum of 2 dates a week (that's 2 different girls) and have all the girls show up. That's right, ALL of them. So, for those of you who ain't getting the same results, it's either your profile, your pics, or your approach. (And if you need tips on how to make it work for you, hit me up
)
Okay, onto Korrupt's post:
MISTAKE #1: HITTING HER UP RIGHT AFTER THE DATE
After you've shown her a good time and leave, the girl should be wondering (a) if you had a good time, (b) if you liked her or not, and (c) when you're going to contact her again. When you hit her up as soon as you leave the parking lot, you are doing NONE of these things, and already killing your chances at seeing her again. No bueno
MISTAKE #2: TEXT-MESSAGING HER
Texting KILLS relationships. I've said enough about this and have a whole eBook about it, so I'll move on...
MISTAKE #3: YOU ONLY GAVE HER ONE DATE DAY CHOICE TO CHOOSE FROM
Never give a woman just ONE date day option. Phrase it like "Hey, I was wondering if you'd be free either Wednesday or Thursday to go out again?" It betters your odds of having her say "yes" to at least one of the days vs. just giving her ONE day and it not being a day she can do.
MISTAKE #4: ASKING HER FOR ANOTHER DATE SO SOON AFTER THE FIRST DATE.
Asking a girl out 2 days after the first date is too rushed. And spare me the retort of "but if she likes me she should want to see me as much as possible!" Exactly - but it's that "wanting" feeling that's going to help her build up her interest in you. So, the more you leave her "wanting" - i.e. waiting to hear from you - the more likely she is to say "YES" to your date when you hit her up.
Real talk: I once went on a date with a girl, then didn't hit her up for 8 days - no text, facebook, phone calls, smoke signals, nothing. (Why? 'Cause I had other dates - much less pressure when you've got other girls to take out). On day 8 I hit her up with a simple "Hey, how are you? Was hitting you up to see if you wanted to go hiking 3 days from now." Her response? "Hey there stranger (lol, 'cause I hadn't hit her up), I'd love to, let's go in the morning - see you then!" On the day of the date, I was in her apartment making out with her by night fall.
So yeah, you can rush in if you want, but you should be waiting a minimum of 4 days to contact her again - and even then, it's only to ask for another date, not to get chit-chatty with her.
Now, there were two other things you did that could be considered mistakes by other people; but for me, it really depends on the situation...
#KIND-OF-MISTAKE #1: ASKING HER WHEN SHE'D BE FREE
It can come off wimpy-sounding and, in a way, puts her in control of when you two see each other. However, I've also dated lawyers, doctors, and other chicks in professions where their hours can get hay-wire, in which case I have no problem asking them when the best times are for me to plan dates with them. With that said, you didn't know what her schedule was yet, and the fact that she didn't counter-offer after your first request could be a red flag...
#KIND-OF-MISTAKE #2: ASKING HER OUT DURING A HOLIDAY WEEKEND
I touched on this during Christmas this past year, but trying to contact a girl you've just started dating during a holiday weekend is one of the WORST things you can do. Even if she has some kind of interest in you, you're just too new for her to put much thought into during the holidays. You would have been better off not contacting her all weekend and hitting her up today to ask for a date - chances are you would have gotten a faster response from her vs. wondering why she didn't hit you back right away. It's because she's at a BARBEQUE with people she already knows, duh!
At the same time, though... 24 hours is a LOONG time, and it doesn't take forever to send you what she sent you as a response.
All this said, it's too early to count her out yet, but it IS early enough for you to stop making stupid mistakes. She said "maybe Tuesday" so hopefully you're out with her right now. If not, wait until Sunday to hit her up again; when you do, ask her if she got her schedule figured out yet and ask her if one of two days will work for her (any day but Friday and Saturday - those are date nights for "serious" couples). If she gives you the ol' "Oh, um, I dunno, my schedule may flip flop" excuse, pack it up and go - she's not interested.
Hope this helps!
