Another Blowout?

[takeiteazy]

New here, so please be gentle, eh?

Anyway, I have seeing this girl for about three months (we were friends for about a year beforehand). Her levels of interest towards me was always high (whilst we were friends) and I was always pretty nonchalent about things.

Anyway, I finally succumb to her charms and we started casually seeing each other and sleeping together. Things were going fine but I noticed over a few weeks she began to cool towards me (I confess to getting a little too into her - bad move, I know).

She finally tells me that she doesn't want anything serious etc. I ask for some honest answers and she says I am the first man she has slept with for years (in all honesty I can believe it - she was very shy the first few times we got it together) and that she was developing feelings and could not handle them.

Like a fool I told her that I was also into her (its true) which did little to help.

Finally I took her out for a drink again the other night and she said the same (wants to quit and be friends etc). The thing is I can handle that (not happy but can handle it) but all the time we are playing 'footsie' under the table. I walked her home, said it was a shame it had to be like this and gave her a passionate kiss before leaving. She had no problem with it.

So I am confused?

I like her. She tells me that she wants to call it off but when I try a few moves I still get the feeling that I might be able to get back in.

Should I just cut all ties?, tell her she was right and that it would not work, be understanding and patient knowing that I'm her first in a long time?

I'm at a loss really. I do like her, but to be honest she is messing with my head a bit too much.

Any advice much appreciated.....

 

[Docs]

and gave her a passionate kiss before leaving.

Did she kiss back?...

Damn right, you should be confused. Why is she doing all of these things? Well, number one would be the loss of interest. Why else would she try to cut things off softly? Next, WHY did she loose interest? Is it because you never went out on dates, or you changed your attitudes towards her, your actions, etc? Has she been going out to clubs/bars/to see 'friends' a lot?

Those are all things you need to ponder for a few minutes. From here, you can pretty well guess on a dime, whether to try to keep it going, or breaking it off (in the best interest of the relationship, right??).

And, take everything you've discovered as a big lesson in what to change for next time.

 

[takeiteazy]

Well its finished now.

She tells me she didn't want to go on because she was falling for me and couldn't handle a relationship now. I felt the same but definitely wanted to get closer to her.

Gutted. I really liked her. I work with her (although on different shifts so do not see her that often) and have taken her number off my phone to avoid the temptation of phoning again.

Christ! I thought it was just men who were scared of committment!

 

[mrRuckus]

She's full of sh1t.

What kind of woman doesn't have sex for years? You don't want her anyway.

 

[takeiteazy]

She wasn't full of Sh1t. I am pretty sure she hadn't had sex for years. She was very shy and inexperienced when we first got it together.

Anyhow, its the emotional side of things she said she couldn't handle. She hadn't been close to someone for years and I think it kinda freaked her. Anyhow it don't matter now, cos its over.

And you are right. I don't need her.....

 

[skip2mylou781]

me - EXACT situation, girl is afraid she'll fall for me, except her problem is that shes ALWAYS had bf's and now she wants to be single and "not worry about any guy"

fuuuuuuuuuuck thattttttttttttt

 

[takeiteazy]

I'm sick of this....

There is no doubt that I really like this girl. So after she says she wants to quit etc I have a serious think. Decide that the footsie under the table and the kiss probably meant nothing to her (ie she was just playing along). So I text her this week. I say I agree with her and lets call it quits. I also mention that its better that we both know where we stand so we can meet other people. Finally I emphasise that in time I am sure we can become friends (and I really meant it).

That was five days ago. Today I see her at work. First time since the text. Nobody at work knew what was going on between us so we have always been a bit stand offish when others were about. But today she wouldn't even look me in the eye. Was very sharp in tone and clearly very pissed.

But I am still pretty sure she doesn't want to be with me. So why can she not just chill a little? Perhaps she is just trying to cut me completely out of her life? Its a definite possibility......

Women, a completely different species....No fvcking logic at all!