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Annoying things your married/relationship friends do to you

Jake_Gyllenhaal69

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1). I am constantly having sex with different women- They think that my apartment is just a constant revolving door for women when it's actually I might see 2-3 women at once and either decide to date one or refresh after one drops

2). I'm out at a club 3-4 nights a week- Idk I feel like they have this fantasy of being suddenly single again and they are reminiscent of the good ole days in college.

3). Think that I don't have a meaningful life outside pleasure- Kind of pigging backing off of 2 but they just assume you live every day like the movie hangover. I workout, I have a career, I have bills, I have chores, so quit assuming I am down to randomly go out with you on a whim.

4). I am automatically interested in their single friend- No Amanda, I do not want your single mom party ***** friend that you talk shvt about behind her back. Just because I'm single does not mean I do not have standards.

5). They will constantly look down on you- There are two guys, Guy A and Guy B, and both guys go on a vacation to Spain and post about it on social media. Guy A receives praise and recognition for going to Spain. Guy B gets asked "Why are you in Spain" or "Shouldn't you be doing this instead", etc. It doesn't matter what you do, they will always secretly be jealous of you.

6). Judging your mate selection standards/trying to get you to hit on random women in public- We all have that one friend that will see a girl and bug the hell out of you to go and hit on her. If you do not then they will do it for you themselves, make it awkward, and then give you shvt about it the rest of the day.
 

SW15

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This is a nice starting of a discussion. I can't relate to a good portion of it but there are points I'll discuss further down in the post.

All of the friends I've made since moving to Dallas over a decade are in relationships now, as are the people who are friends of my friends and are merely acquaintances to me. The majority are married and the duration of these of "friend relationships" or "friend of friend relationships" is somewhere between 6-12 years at the time of this writing. These are mostly people in their 30s. The flurry of weddings in this social circle occurred between 2015-2020. One friend in an LTR is cohabiting still and doesn't seem likely to marry.

The Number 1 complaint that I have is related to invitations to in-person events. The events hosted in my social circle are very couples-oriented and couples-heavy. I don't want to be the only unattached person in a sea of couples. There have been many Super Bowl/4th of July/Labor Day/Halloween/New Years Eve parties over the years where I've been the only unattached or marginally attached guy with a girlfriend not present. I've turned down many of the requests, including all of the New Years Eve ones in years where I wasn't coupled. I did get caught at a couple of very uncomfortable and unpleasant Super Bowl parties that were all couples.

There have been fewer in-person events in my social circle since the pandemic started. However, the friend that hosted the most in-person events moved away about a year before the pandemic started. There was a 4th of July group get together in 2021 and that was the only group 2021 gathering I attended.

The Number 2 complaint is related to Number 1. There was a gathering once in 2018 or 2019. One of the friends of my friend showed up to a private residence party. I'd never met this person before. His fiance walks in and just starts blabbering about their engagement 2 weeks earlier. Blah, blah, blah, proposal thing, wedding planning that, bullshiit, bullshiit, bullshiit. Since this was in the middle of the wedding cycle of my social circle, a few of the newly married male friends' wives couldn't stop prattling on about it either. Couples-centric events have conversation topics that I can't relate to in any way.

3). Think that I don't have a meaningful life outside pleasure- Kind of pigging backing off of 2 but they just assume you live every day like the movie hangover. I workout, I have a career, I have bills, I have chores, so quit assuming I am down to randomly go out with you on a whim.
Over the years, I have found that to be more of a problem with co-workers than friends. In white collar working environments, childless, single males are considered dog shiit. The married people with kids get all the sympathy and breaks, followed by the single moms. If single men aren't careful, they can get a lot of work piled upon them and have to work late. Everything depends upon the company culture. I am very vocal about my time committments outside of work and I dispel any notion that I have more free time because I am not married and am childless.

4). I am automatically interested in their single friend- No Amanda, I do not want your single mom party ***** friend that you talk shvt about behind her back. Just because I'm single does not mean I do not have standards.
The friends I have made since moving to Dallas have been horrible about friend setups. As in, they don't do it for me. First off, their girlfriends/wives have rarely had single friends. On the occasions that I have sniffed out a single woman that a friend's girlfriend or wife has had, I have had to ask multiple times or beg to try to get me in the same room with them. It was ineffective. However, in a couple of cases, I found out later that I would have ended up being a bad match for the woman a friend's girlfriend/wife knew. In one case, the woman was rather sexually prudish. That's probably not a strong fit for a guy like me who has read PUA materials, has participated in SoSuave, has been an active approacher of strangers, etc.

5). They will constantly look down on you
There are probably times where a male friend's wife or girlfriend has looked down upon me for being unattached or marginally attached with a newer girlfriend. It's probably also happened among the set of people comprising the friends of my friends too.

Here's the main thing: Married people/established LTR people in general don't want to be around unattached or marginally attached men. Additionally, unattached or marginally attached men like myself don't want to be around couples either. That's why the in-person invitations were my Number 1 complaint.

It's possible for me to see my male friends in marriages/relationships separate from their girlfriends or wives. Partaking in common interests is a great way for this to happen. I've seen my male friends for playing tennis, going on bicycle rides, swimming laps together, and going fishing together. That stuff is good and those interactions are pleasant.

That leads me into my Number 3 complaint. I get annoyed when these married and cohabiting men say that they have to check with their wife or girlfriend before they can commit to getting together with me. One male friend is horrible about this. When he says he'll check with his wife before agreeing to see me, I get annoyed. It's a sign he's a biatch. A beta male biatch. The male friend who does this now used to have a lot of one night stands and casual sex in the past. I don't know how you go from being a skilled seducer to being a beta biatch, but it happens. I think a lot of men become more beta as romantic relationships continue. I'm sure some other men besides this one do talk to their wives/girlfriends about hanging out with me but at least they don't mention it in a text message or a phone call.
 
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