Anger

[Sega Genesis]

That this woman gets aroused from men losing their sh!t shows that she's attracted to negative male aggression. And she thinks other women are the same, whereas most women feel unsafe when a man is not in control of his emotions, especially aggressive displays of anger.

As a woman, there can be a paradox when it comes to being sexually attracted and long term relationship.

Long term we want "safe" but that initial sexual attraction often stems from feeling uncertain and unsafe.

I watched the video and my sense was she isn't saying women are attracted to negative male aggression.

What she's saying is women are attracted to men who don't fear expressing anger when warranted, when he's bothered by a certain behavior to speak up, assertively and honestly making no apologies.

Versus acting aloof, withdrawing, employing "silence and distance" as is so often advocated here.

Personally I view the former as strong and the latter as weak.

Below is an article from Psychology Today discussing why some women (certainly not all) are sexually attracted to the darker sides of a man's personality. Which does include anger when warranted. Not "losing his shyt," that's extreme. There's a balance.

A good example is Jeff Bridges in the movie "Against All Odds," great flick!

Redirect Notice

 

[jhonny9546]

Women aren't attracted more to men they can manipulate into emotional outbursts

I'm with you on this, although it is repeated in some places that women do it to be punished. Sometimes they tease the man because he is "too lazy", to make him change, to make him become aggressive so that he can put them back in their place when they make a mistake. My grandmother told me this too, who did it a few times with my grandfather, but she did it to test if my grandfather was in control of the situation. Now I don't know if it's normal, but this is what she told me.

What she's saying is women are attracted to men who don't fear expressing anger when warranted, when he's bothered by a certain behavior to speak up, assertively and honestly making no apologies.

Versus acting aloof, withdrawing, employing "silence and distance" as is so often advocated here.

Personally I view the former as strong and the latter as weak.

That's exactly what I was talking about. They would you to be loud when you have to put them back. Not that you have an emotional outburst.

Now, what a man absolutely must have in his skillset, is the way he responds to different situations, so knowing when to use detachment and when to be direct.

Personally, I'm working on this since I'm really the "passive" version of the masculine energy, so I need to know when to reply with "tone" of voice.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

Welcome to the red pill, pvssy

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

I might be in the minority here, but sometimes you have to show anger, with certain woman.

If you don't show anger, with certain women, they will abuse you.

I have an Italian old lady - she was raised in an Italian household - and if I don't press her, then I will eventually regret it.

They're an outspoken people. They expect to be talked over.

Talk over them or be talked over, kid

 

[jhonny9546]

In my research on this topic , both from intangible resources and real, lived experiences , I came across this article:

https://therationalmale.com/2011/10/17/indignation/

Here’s the key part:

"Women’s biology predisposes them toward security, but they chafe in a condition of total security.
The wise Man will develop tactical, measured ways to make himself the focus of that need for indignation.*
You get fed up and pissed off, either at some boundary she’s crossed or some 3rd party has, and your anger flares up. Your usually patient countenance is gone and you go caveman. The reason this is shocking is that most men will tolerate far more personal indiscretions from their romantic interests, or want to present the appearance of humility or patience with others while she’s around, in an effort to convince his LTR interest that he is a good security provider. And while this may appeal to her provisioning instincts it directly conflicts with her more feral instincts of physical attraction."

(This is framed within the context of an LTR)


put it simply, a woman seeks stability and security, but at the same time, she may unconsciously create emotional disruption because too much security makes her feel stifled. She then seeks discomfort to stimulate her internal “hamster” , to make her feel like she needs to earn that security again. It’s a cycle.

Now, whether this is something that stems from a toxic woman or toxic relationship isn’t entirely clear, but the author claims it’s a biological or innate behavior.

From my own observations of some long term relationships that have lasted for many years, I’ve noticed that the men in these relationships tend to eventually snap when the drama exceeds a certain threshold. They are usually assertive, but when pushed too far, they blow up, raise their voices, and impose authority , almost like verbal aggression.

That said, we’re often told to stay calm , that a mature man doesn’t lose composure. Instead, he would communicate his boundaries clearly and explain how her behavior makes him feel. That would be the healthy model of a relationship. (non violent comunication)

In my own experience , 7 LTRs, each over 10 years long, which I personally consider toxic , I’ve noticed that the man’s emotional outbursts usually correspond to the amount of drama the woman brings into the relationship. And those LTR's have frequent outbursts where you see the man scolding the woman in a really "anger" way.

However, I’ve also seen another LTR where the woman would push boundaries, but the man calmly explained things and stood firm with calm “NOs.” That relationship was much healthier… but it ended after 10 years.

It would be really interesting to have a deep discussion on what the author calls the "cycle of indignation."


*A friend of mine has been in a relationship with his girlfriend for 12 years. As soon as I read this article, I thought of him, because during a bachelor party for one of his close friends, he made it seem like they were all going to "hook up" with other women, even though nothing actually happened. Basically, they went out dancing at a club and posted Instagram stories together and at the same time as some other girls. So, their girlfriends saw the posts on their phones and totally panicked. When the guys got back, they denied everything, and within a week, their girlfriends went from being furious to being all happy and loving again. On the same day they posted those stories, the mastermind behind it all messaged another friend who hadn’t gone to the bachelor party, saying: “Tactics”

 

[jhonny9546]

They expect to be talked over.

I don't think this is only related to italian people (@SW15 might have the real stats for this).. but why it happen?

Also, it is not healthy, since you want to put healthy boundaries and non violent comunication as your default medium

 

[Gamisch]

In my research on this topic , both from intangible resources and real, lived experiences , I came across this article:

https://therationalmale.com/2011/10/17/indignation/

Here’s the key part:


(This is framed within the context of an LTR)


put it simply, a woman seeks stability and security, but at the same time, she may unconsciously create emotional disruption because too much security makes her feel stifled. She then seeks discomfort to stimulate her internal “hamster” , to make her feel like she needs to earn that security again. It’s a cycle.

Now, whether this is something that stems from a toxic woman or toxic relationship isn’t entirely clear, but the author claims it’s a biological or innate behavior.

From my own observations of some long term relationships that have lasted for many years, I’ve noticed that the men in these relationships tend to eventually snap when the drama exceeds a certain threshold. They are usually assertive, but when pushed too far, they blow up, raise their voices, and impose authority , almost like verbal aggression.

That said, we’re often told to stay calm , that a mature man doesn’t lose composure. Instead, he would communicate his boundaries clearly and explain how her behavior makes him feel. That would be the healthy model of a relationship. (non violent comunication)

In my own experience , 7 LTRs, each over 10 years long, which I personally consider toxic , I’ve noticed that the man’s emotional outbursts usually correspond to the amount of drama the woman brings into the relationship. And those LTR's have frequent outbursts where you see the man scolding the woman in a really "anger" way.

However, I’ve also seen another LTR where the woman would push boundaries, but the man calmly explained things and stood firm with calm “NOs.” That relationship was much healthier… but it ended after 10 years.

It would be really interesting to have a deep discussion on what the author calls the "cycle of indignation."


*A friend of mine has been in a relationship with his girlfriend for 12 years. As soon as I read this article, I thought of him, because during a bachelor party for one of his close friends, he made it seem like they were all going to "hook up" with other women, even though nothing actually happened. Basically, they went out dancing at a club and posted Instagram stories together and at the same time as some other girls. So, their girlfriends saw the posts on their phones and totally panicked. When the guys got back, they denied everything, and within a week, their girlfriends went from being furious to being all happy and loving again. On the same day they posted those stories, the mastermind behind it all messaged another friend who hadn’t gone to the bachelor party, saying: “Tactics”

LOL

No matter how much mental gymnastics you put on it, the fact will remain that women bring turmoil into a man's life.

There is this "point of no return" where the rationality for a man gets overridden by the turmoil of a woman. If you have a mother....sister or any other female relative you'll know.

To keep it simple like baby food: we are drawn to female beauty and that urge on itself overrides all thr previous stated issues. A nice body and a pretty face will get us EVERY DAMN TIME.

Personally I haven't been in a steady relationship for like almost two years now ,and I'm thriving like never before...I am hitting pr's in every level: the gym, financially, spiritually. Just not sexually, but I geuss I peaked sexually many years ago not knowing the price I paid was literally again a financial, spiritual and physical debt.

Basically I was like a fireman 24 7 ready to put out both small and bigger fires caused by the constant "gf" I've had( because I monkey branched constantly).

Nowadays I simply laugh at dudes putting all their chips on women and love. It just shows me they have either zero experience or zero self worth or a combination of the two.

 

[jhonny9546]

I don't think betting on love is a wise move.


I'm glad you said that: instead, focusing on your own attributes and being a confident man can either make an insecure woman feel more secure — or even more insecure, in which case, next.


Moreover, in the post I also describe how a man can become insecure by being around a woman.
It's a journey of self-discovery.
A woman can make a confident man insecure, but can a confident man make an insecure woman feel secure?

 

[zekko]

Some women just like drama, and anger and fighting can feed into that. There is such a thing as "make up sex" that some people find satisfying. The other thing is that some women are damaged, having grown up in or around abusive relationships, and they are caught in that cycle, and want to be yelled at by an angry man. These are not healthy situations, however. If you can find a woman who doesn't put you through that drama, it is a great blessing.

 

[jhonny9546]

.

It's not that I can find a woman, it's that if I find one, I don't settle.
I don't care if a woman has a mental scheme of having to make a drama and be scolded to feel loved. Very good, next time.
Some manage to change and trust your security. In that case, great.

But what I describe is to understand if the strange ones are the confident ones, because in this world they are the minority, and you will see multiple relationships with dynamics described above, which will make it seem like it's "normal"..
Then if you have them in your group of friends, the strange one is you.

 

[jhonny9546]

Something more about anger, and how women respond to dread.

Handbook Posts: Tactics to Counter Common RP Strategies: DREAD | FemaleDatingStrategy

WARNING: These are HANDBOOK POSTS -- WRITTEN A LONG TIME AGO by some great women with great thoughts and deemed as handbook worthy by FDS mods for a reason. If you feel triggered or disagree with something -- THE SMART THING TO DO IS TO MOVE ON. Agree to disagree and go on your merry way. Stop tryin

www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com

In light of this, the best response to a man using the dread tactics on you, is simple. It involves a combination of imitating his actions and maintaining your stand.