and_places: the boot camp story

[and_places]

Slacker

Boys I have been slacking off. I haven't been working on bootcamp since wednesday. Still, I'm proud of myself for not just quitting. So tomorrow it's back to action.

 

[Oldboy]

cod3r: That's brutal, man, "Roll up the window!" :crackup:.

That's a great example of the 3 second rule in effect - you stare too long without talking, and their creep alarms go off.

and_places: It's awesome that you're staying in the game, despite the minor setbacks. Like that other dude was saying after Day 1: persist - in spite of obstacles, in spite of yourself. Just persist.

Well, speaking of slacking...

Day 3 (and 4 so far) conversations: 0
Total: 6/10

Sunday was a bust. Barely left the house. 'Course, I had been up til 4am the night before, but it's no excuse.

Today: Walked around after work, but wasn't able to rassle up any conversations.

But to hell with it: tonight at 11:30, I'm going out to a local bar alone - something I never do - to make this happen. I'm going to kill the AFC in me, whatever it takes.

Best,
Oldboy

 

[Heyjose25points]

OldBoy, ur doing pretty well! I'm on a college campus and there are girls always walking around. So far I'm able to sit down and eat with them at the cafeteria and talk but when they're walking by or standing somewhere in a day setting, its much harder to approach(even when u get the prolonged eye contact, as I can't come up with something to say either).
I got 6 conversations left. All I know is that once you do it the first time, it becomes so much easier. You just got to take that step.

I can post my results of the bootcamp on another thread, but i'll do that once this week ends.

 

[Oldboy]

Heyjose25points: I completely agree with you about the challenges of talking girls who are on the move (walking from place to place, etc). When they're on a mission, it seems much tougher to break into their frame. I still say Hi as often as I can, and try to project the big, warm, friendly vibe. Talking to them when they're sitting & eating seems much more reasonable, and it sounds like it's working for you. I've read about guys who have a lot of success in stores while shopping - like the cafeteria, that's an area where they're more likely to be on their own time, and not feel to have that kneejerk reaction that you're an unwelcome intrusion. Thanks for the ups, and I look forward to reading your FR!

Day 4: 1 conversation (yeah!)
Day 5: 1 conversation
Total: 8/10

Went to the bar last night like I promised myself, and it was pretty dead. BUT, ended up sitting at the end of the bar next to this Irish guy who was drinking his way through his jet lag. Turns out he's a filmmaker and we had a good 30 minute talk about the biz and different adventures around the world. A good time - and I'm glad I got out there. F*** you, AFC!

Today - had a convo with an old couple about spinach lasagna. Probably about as lame as it sounds, but they were sweet, and I enjoyed it.

Lesson 1: Get out to the hotspots. The best places to meet people and have conversations are places where they're on downtime - coffeeshops, bars, malls, other social areas.
Lesson 2: Meeting people is fun and valuable for its own sake. Last night, simply through the act of intentional friendliness, I met a guy who gave me insights into my intended career. Further adventures are sure to follow.
Lesson 3: I need more work & study on conversation skills. I feel like I'm about two steps away from being really great at it. I have the warm, friendly vibe going. More succinct stories, more push pull, more thought about my core beliefs and how communicate them clearly.
Lesson 4: Take more chances. It won't kill me.

Best,
Oldboy

 

[Oldboy]

Week 2, Day 7

Day 6: 1 Convo
Day 7: 1 Convo
Total: 10/10

Just barely scraped in under the wire here.

Went out to the bar by myself again and couldn't get myself to open a set - they all looked like little perfectly self-contained units that I didn't dare disturb. I stood by myself and pretended to talk on my cell phone. I hate this stupid little wormy AFC.

But: Talked to a couple of girls briefly at a coffeeshop after I asked them for a light.

And: At MacD's, had a nice long chat with an 88-year-old lady who used to work with the lawyer Johnny Cochran.

So I'm done with Week 2. Whew.

God, this week is going to be do-or-die. If I can get up the baulz to talk to ten attractive women this week, I'll really have the AFC on the run.

It starts tonight. I'm heading over to a coffeeshop in a little shopping district to meet a pal, but I'm going to go early and project confidence and say hello and try to make some conversations happen. And then do it again tomorrow, and the day after that, etc. How hard can it be? Very hard (for me), but it doesn't matter.

Advice and encouragement appreciated.

Best,
Oldboy

 

[izza]

You know, I did a boot camp once where we must have had 30 people revving up to go. But not even 5 finished week 1. It was absolutely sad. Me and some other guy kept going until week three, but it does get harder and harder with each week.

You can do it. The choice to succeed is always in your hand. Throw down the ball, and just do it.

I would say good luck, but you don't need luck. It's entirely up to you. Good will,

Izza

 

[Heyjose25points]

My bootcamp

Hey Old Boy, finished Week 2 on Wednesday.
This 3rd week starting tomorrow(Friday) will definitely be do or die for us.
We just got to stick with it...if we fail the week, we just do it over.

Let me introduce myself. I'm 20, go to a party school filled with mostly hot chicks, ratio is 60 girls:40 guys.

Funny, all the girls i've talked to have mostly been freshmen and I'm a junior.
But here's my 2nd week.
MY SECOND WEEK
Note: I had previously sat with girls at the dining hall eating with them for 4 weeks prior to this bootcamp, and saying hi to random girls walking by.

DAY 1:
Didn't do much during that day, had a surprise birthday party i attended to. Two girls i saw with in the cafeteria afew days previous came by and got DRUNK. They were with two guys, who I deeply respect and let them have their fun. I don't want to steal girls from guys, unless they are totally BOMBING out.

#1-Cafteria. 2 girls, one is a 7 brunette, cute, definitely gf material. Wants to study abroad, we talk about that for a while. Get her AIM, and even hug them.

DAY 2
Did really nothing, except go to the gym...afterwards...
#2-Eating Lounge. 2 Girls, one is a 7, and the other is a 7.5 blonde. The blonde asked me alot of questions, made them guess for the answers. Talked for a bit, got her AIM.

DAY 4:
Did quite a bit of conversations this day during the school day...

#3-Talked with a guy who was talking to someone else I knew. Talked about Frat stuff. Convo lasted about 3 minutes.

#4-Talked with a girl who was sitting to the left of me on the bus. She was cute, a 7 dirty blonde. She was a nursing major, and thats what we talked about on the ride. Lasted 5 minutes, didn't get her AIM tho.

#5-Walked to the bus to campus from my apartment. Said watsup to the guy who was walking behind me. He lived in the random apartments, talked about his roommate being in a frat. Lasted 2 minutes, as i had run out of things to say.

#6-Girl On the way to class. While walking to the building, she notices me...I smile, convo lasted at 2 minutes about what class she's doing. Didn't get her AIM as it was sudden.

#7-Sat with a group of 3 girls(Cheerleader, Snowboard girl, Skii Girl) at a mini-lounge/cafeteria. Each of them were 7s, except for the Snowboard girl who w a 7.5. Lasted atleast 10 minutes. They were receptive to my jokes and finding out about them.

DAY 6:
This day changed everything, now I know i can approach once again!

#8 the Girl-Talked to a girl in my Morning Health class in the gym, was on a treadmill…was able to keep conversation going, eventho she didn't say much.

#9-My first "outside" approach. She was a 7.5 . She was sitting outside a dorm hall waiting for a ride. She looked like she was thinking hard, commented about it. She was on the volleyball team and what they did for that. Convo lasted for about 2 minutes as she had an important call.

DAY 7:
Didn't do much this day, actually stayed back in the apartment.

#10-Dining Hall, day time. Two girls, one 7.5 blonde, the other...a big girl. Was sitting down and eating right next to the blonde and was across form the big girl. The big girl did most of the talking, at which i would ask what blondie thought, and she'd laugh whenever i said a joke. But they didn't talk much, and seemed to then watch the TV that was there. Didn't get the convo flow I wanted, so didn't get her AIM.

What I definitely want to improve on is to continue approaching when i see the opportunity, even if I'm not sure what to say, continue conversation skills, and asking for their # instead of their AIMs, eventho AIMS are fine to me, not try to only limit myself to those approaches, try to do as much as I can within reason, and not get tense around the 8+ chicks. Week 3 will be difficult...10 approaches....time to no longer hold back.

Oldboy, i'm with you

 

[Oldboy]

Heyjose25points: You are a f***ing rockstar, dude. Nice work on Week 2!

go to a party school filled with mostly hot chicks, ratio is 60 girls:40 guys.

I like those odds! :yes:

Really good stuff this last week - even a few AIMs, which is cool. All these friendly contacts you're making as part of this BC are going to help you create a great social network for yourself at school.

Also, solid & thoughtful analysis of your own progress, and areas where you see yourself needing improvement.

Week 3 will be difficult...10 approaches....time to no longer hold back. Oldboy, i'm with you

You made my day. We're in this together, man. Let's do it!

Day 1 - 2
2 Conversations
Total: 2/10

1 - Spoke to a HB as we were waiting in line at a coffeeshop ... for the bathroom. We had a fun little chat about waiting for things, and had her laughing a couple of times. Then the bathroom door opened, and it was my turn. Alas.

2 - Saw a cute female standing in the Trader Joe's parking lot holding a clipboard and looking lost. Yes, she was doing a survey (and I know this is lame!) but I'm still counting it because I approached her. Had a short conversation about her job and the chiropractic profession. No close of any kind - should have pushed the interaction a bit.

Friday night was a bust - went to a party, but only people I knew there.

Now getting revved up for Saturday night. Here we go!

and_places: Looking forward to hearing from you, brother.

Best,
Oldboy

 

[Oldboy]

Week 3 Report
Goal: 10 Conversations with HBs
Total: 4 conversations

Well, this week did not go as well as I had hoped. The approach anxiety really kicked in here a few times - I was out at a coffeeshop or a bar, and couldn't bring myself to go over and talk to someone. Stupid AFC sheeit. So, I'm going to simply do Week 3 over. Starting tomorrow, I will begin again. And I know I can do it, because something pretty cool happened today, on the last day of my first Week 3...

I got my first #close from a complete stranger.

My car broke down on the way to work this morning ($350 bones for a fuel manifold, bummer) and after the tow I was waiting for the bus when an attractive woman sits down near me. Now, I'm not going to kid you and say she was an HB10, a little roundish for me, but still cute enough. So I said a line I got off of the DJ forum, a line so simple that it boggles my mind with its elegance:

"So, where are you going?"

We talk, and talk some more. She's a new agey therapist type, and I can dig it. The vibe is really good. We talked about how people are naturally polyamorous. She's clearly proud of her spiritual journey. So when we're almost at my destination, I tell her (straight outa Juggler), "You know, you have this wisdom about you that I think is really sexy. I'd like to get your number." Well, she lit up like Burning Man, and eagerly gave it to me.

Gotta tell you, fellas, this is the first time I've done this - just picked up a strange woman. It's a small step, but boy, it feels really good. I would have choked before, and let the conversation slide into completely safe areas, and ended with a handshake. Not this time. Now I've got some tools, thanks to all y'all.

But my use of these tools is still pretty limited. I've read a lot about DJ - maybe too much - but it's doing me no good up here tapping at my computer. I feel like a kid with a samurai sword. It's a f****** cool sword, but just having it don't make me a samurai. I've got to learn how to swing it, and the only place to learn is out there in the field.

So back to the task at hand: Week 3, Part Deux. Ten conversations with women. If I can get their numbers, yee-ha. But the important thing is to do it, break down that approach anxiety, and develop my abilities.

Hope y'all are well.

Best,

Oldboy

 

[Heyjose25points]

Sup old boy...Great to see you get a number close like that! After u do it the first time, it becomes much much easier. Just did it yesterday at an airport, even if i don't see the girl again...just that moment asking her, wasn't as bad as I thought. I was nervous while i was waiting for it though for a strange reason. Meh, it'll reduce.

The approach anxiety really kicked in here a few times

As expected, some of the greats are even more nervous than we are before they do it too. But all that nervous energy we can use to have a good energy level.

A little roundish for me, but still cute enough.

Yea bro, sometimes the ones with cute faces still win us over if they maybe a bit on the round site.

Don't worry about not being to do week 3 like u planned. I wasn't able to complete it either. As long as u eventually complete it, thats all that matters. U completing it and not giving up. Plus now u feel much more at ease asking for the number, right? Its greating hearing your progress.

Here's how my "first" week 3 went.

Day 1
---
Approach 1-Did a cold approach with a 6 curly haired blonde sitting down. Asked her where she got her sunglasses from, talked about how I saw those
same glasses at Sunglass Hut and i tried them on thinking i was cool. She was a theatre major, just regular talk. Decided to end the convo as it wasn't getting anywhere else.

Approach 2-At a bar that same night, but it was before they told people under 21 to leave. A 7 midlengthed haired blonde-brown haired girl was there
with 2 other girls and 1 guy. She gave me eye contact every now and then. Some other girls at the bar(Hot too, gave me good eye contact) After 10 minutes, i finally go up to the 4 set. Was playing darts and invited them to play with us(Course that was not the reason ;-) )
find out she is a teacher and we talk about how she likes it. I leave the set as I didn't get much else from there.

I approached another girl at a party we had at our crib, but I had a beer in me...not so sure it counts for the bootcamp....didn't go past a minute.

Day 4
---
Approach 3-Morning in the cafeteria, theres a 7.6 and a 7...both brunettes, find out they were in band. Talk about that. Got good vibes from them, should've gotten their AIMs but when the
conversation lagged...i gave up too easily as I felt that I didn't finish the convo well...so i left. Should've asked for hte AIM anyway.

Approach 4-Lunch at the cafeteria, there was a 3 set(1 of them was a dark brunette 7, but the other was a 7.8 brunette-blonde) the third was a cold girl. The cold girl was keeping attention away from me, but once she left...bingo...the two girls who I wanted to talk to in the first place were more open to talking to me at this point asked about how who i was and about me. Just a regular conversation. They left for tanning afterwards.

Approach 5-Sitting Area of the Bus, saw a 6 sitting there. Just talked about the bus and what not. Had a great ass tho. Just talked about what her plans were coming up with the business frat she was in.

Day 5
----
Approach 6-Dining Hall, Dinner, sat with a 8 dark long haired brunette and her 7 friend. She had a nice rack and cute face ;-). They were friendly and for the first time in a while, they both were older than I was. We just talked about how they were education majors and what not. They eventually have to go to a meeting, i try to get the 8's aim but she says it doesn't work on her comp real well(Doesn't matter, glad to have conversation)

Day 7
----
Approach 7-Dining Hall, Midafternoon, sat with a 3 set(two girls and one guy) one girl was a 7.5 from a far but put her down to around a 7 upclose...her friend next to her was a 7 too. Did the opener, "Mind if I sit here?" they all just looked at me for about 20 seconds straight and the guy said, "where about to leave" I laugh and say, "its all good" But you know what, after talking to them for 20 minutes...they don't leave. Broke down their shields. Felt good about that...but found out that one of them was taken and wasn't too interested in the other one.

Had 3 conversations left, but didn't finish them. I have decided to do a revisited week 3(On vacation) and begin week 4 back on campus.

See Bud, i told u we're doing this together! I want to hear your revisited Week 3!