And the penny drops....i can no longer converse

[evolvingnerd]

i used to be able to talk about any random sh!t whether it be with friends, family, chicks, dogs, you name it

but now, i've found i'm at a cmplete lack of what to say
for isntance, today, at the shops i did a cold approach, but after commenting on the shoes she was eyein, i was at a complete loss of what to say. complete mental blank, which i've never felt before. i just stopped dead in my tracks. so then i made as though i saw a familiar face, smiled and tried to walk away maintainin some sort of dignigty. after about 10 mins of convincing myself it was nothing, i tried another approach, asking for a chick's opinion on a shirt. boom, dead again.

wtf????

and even lately, when i'm with my friends, just chillin at a bar, or even at uni, i'm barely saying anything. i used to always hold the conversations together, but for the life of me, i can no longer think of what to say. unless someone else starts the topic, i do'nt know what to say, and even then, i only talk about the topic they mentioned, and i'm done.

please help me...

 

[felony]

Mate I feel your pain.

I think i'm going through something similar as you are describing too, however for me its only sometimes. On occassions. I hate it. It's the worst thing- i used to be able to (and still can) chat away like something crazy, being exciting, funny, smart, 'feeling' and so on.. just a darn good conversationalist. But sometimes your out and you are simply lost for words. Its not that you can't seem to think of anything to say, but nothing seems worth saying.

So funny i'm reading this post now, cos i just got home from being out at a dinner and party tonight and i was really lacking in conversation. Just dull. You know people that generally love to chat with you are feeling a bit disappointed when you aren't your usual self. I also hate it if everyone would rather be chatting with other people because they are more interesting. This isn't an insecurity. It's just one of those self improvement things- this isn't about being jealous about other guys etc its simply a matter of being hard enough on yourself to get better.

How can you improve? Or how can you come through the fog quicker? I'm not really sure. And i hate to think of this as one of those "i'm depressed helped threads" cos **** that stuff is unmanly and makes me want to puke. But i think ur conversation could be lacking for a couple of reasons:

a) You are bored with the people you're with. Yes, i know about being excited and interested in every special person, but lets face it, sometimes some people just don't do anything for you or you for them. Find new people to talk to.

b) something is stressing you in life and got your mind off the job. I know when i have a assignment due in a couple of days that i haven't started, its hard to party with that over your head, or knowing you need to study for the exam coming up, or you haven't got your mum a birthday gift yet and its her birthday tomorrow morning or whatever reason something is bugging you. So get your life in check and minimise those stessful or negative barriers that are messing with your 'mojo'.

c) You are keen to do something else. lately i've been all pumped up to get underway with some other tasks, but they have to wait until exams are over or whatever. Just a general sense of wanting something better in life. I believe this can be a very potent tester of your patience.

d) Similar to c but that its to do with a woman. Any form of one-itis surely has to hamper your ability to effectively deal with other women. As much as i hate to admit it, i have some dodgy mild abnormal one-itis on the side for a chic i know i shouldn't have any one-itis for. And although i'm still meeting new women and their pvssies: i know my game is not 100% like it could be, and knowing your not being the best you can be is undoubtedly tough.

I'm sure there are some other reasons, you might simply be battling a bacterial infection but i think over analysing or making a big deal of it is not going to help you get back on track.

Step up, relax and be the better man that you know you are. And know that in the future you will become a stronger and more capable man for overcoming this current hurdle.

f.

 

[Life-Trainee]

I'm a good conversationalist when I'm in a genuine happy mood. I joke nonstop and emit uplifting energy. Unfortunately, I don't come by the real happy mood much. Lately i've found myself in an emotional neutral or despair due to several life problems. So yea, i've had that happen. Not to that degree but I just lose all desire to talk to people and when I try to force it I just mess up. Try not to worry over things you can't control.

 

[thecraftylefty]

You are at a lack for words because you worry about what to say next.

What should I say?
How should I say it?
Does she like me?

Stop it now!

You worry about what will happen in 5 minutes, 30 minutes, even an hour later with this girl when your problem is obviously in the present.

You're focusing too much on the future outcome instead of having fun in the present. Don't put any pressure on how things will procede in the conversation. Say whatever you feel like saying and go with the flow. You'll be surprised how easy it is to shoot the sh!t when you don't force anything and let things procede in a natural way.

thecraftylefty

 

[evolvingnerd]

thanks a lot fellas
esp felony - i think u nailed it

i'm not erribly worried, cause it's happened before and i often get back to my normal self, although it took 2 weeks or so last time

i'll just say whatever i feel like when i next see em

cheers