"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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And the day has come....

ChaoticGamer

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I met a girl like a year ago, and we instantly had chemistry, and that magic going on between us that rarely happens, Incredibly enough she's a model, and a top student in her college, Probably It all worked fine because I behaved all 'D'angelo' on her, like being ****y and funny all the time because I realized I had no chance.
Her response was amazing, And she kinda loves me, and it was obvious then that she was also very attracted to me. I believe we had a crush on each other, But since she had a boyfriend, I never told her I liked her, but I kinda subtletly told her....

Now the day has finally come, and she called me to say she missed me and that she took the decision to break up with her boyfriend.

The question is, How do I know If she broke up with him for Me or for some other guy?

and in general terms how should I proceed? because we have been best friends like since we met.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Bvbidd

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Almost every guy says this but it's almost never true. lol :crazy:

I doubt she's that into you.. but if ya think she is then make a move? Like I don't quite understand what your saying.

I just know your mental masturbating though.
 

ChaoticGamer

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Well, I guess it's impossible to know for certain how into me she can be, unless she says so herself, But If I had to bet on it, I would say yes.

and especially about How to make a move is where you experts should provide advice on.

And well, seeing that I could also be one that falls into the mistaken idea of believing she likes me, I suppose the dumbest thing to do would be Not to make a move. and what's that thing about mental masturbation?
 

Bvbidd

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Well if you really don't have any idea what to do right now.. then you can be certain you would lose that bet.

I mean your 24 have you never touched a girl before or what? I don't get it.
If you never have then she'd be able to tell buddy.

Take her out, and then get alone, and kiss her.. escalte from there I'd say. Kinda simple..
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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ChaoticGamer

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Well, I have been with girls and had sex and all that, I am no unexperienced guy, But you're not getting the picture here, I'm amazed...

You DonJuans should be able to tell me how to avoid her saying the... I just want you as a friend thing.

I could kiss her and stuff, But I suppose it would be better If I worked her mind a little bit before trying making a move, don't you think?
 

Bvbidd

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Sounds to me like your making it too complicated.
 

ChaoticGamer

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Could be... ha ha ha

I think I will have to do my usual thing on her and see. that is being totally mysterious, and give mixed messages, and suddenly try to kiss her,

Let's see If I could win this ladie's heart... thanks anyway... Sir.
 

Cableguy

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You could tease her a little. If a chick I had been wanting to hook up for a while called me and said she missed me and was single the first thing out of my mouth would be something along the lines of " I knew you'd eventually dump his sorry ass for me, I knew you wanted me!" Say it with a sense of humor and see what she says. If she's interested she'll make it a point to engage you about your comment.
 

Scorched

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Move slow, give her time to get over her ex...
Keep doing what you are doing!
The longer they went out the longer she'll need...
If she starts comparing you to him... She still loves him...
Talk about everything but him... If she brings him up I'd listen and identify with her... but then change the subject...

I wouldn't try to kiss her till the 3rd DATE... Every girl is differnt though and since you've know her so long... It is a unique sitation...

Good Luck
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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ChaoticGamer

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Well, thanks for that advice, especially cable guy, I say this because I totally identify with that way of acting towards this situation, I'm a girl teaser all the time, and generally it works, but given this unique situation when I'm actually trying to get some results, I tend to fail...

But that's an excelent line ! a very funny one too ! "I knew you'd dump that loser----"

I think I'll pull that one off, in a funny way

What should I do If she gets offended? I know I should never apologize, but perhaps she's still a lil' sensitive about the subject..

And yeah, I do think it would be a little too early to kiss her before the 3rd date.. however which IOI should I expect to make a move in this UnIquE situation? Could anybody tell me?

thanks DJs
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Beware of the rebound. :nono:
 

Kings_royalty

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The question is, How do I know If she broke up with him for Me or for some other guy?

and in general terms how should I proceed? because we have been best friends like since we met.


Don't concern yourself with the cause of her breakup; it's none of your business. Just keep doing what you have been doing, just amp it up a couple of notches (without making it to obvious), and watch how she responds. She may behave differently now that she's single.

Take Francisco’s advice, watch for the rebound effect.
 

ChaoticGamer

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Oh PLEASE Do Tell what the rebound effect is !

I'm more than intrigued... There are just so many terms I have to learn about this business...

and I agree that I should amplify what I have been doing.

by the way her behavior has already been different..

thanks for ALL the advice !
 

Cableguy

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She may be just looking for some poor sap to fawn over her and chase after her to make herself feel better after having failed in a relationship. Don't be a sure thing. Keep it fun. Tease her. Crack on her (if she has a good sense of humor) Just don't give her the impression that she already has you. Don't be an AFC. It sounds like there might be some general interest on her part and you need to play your cards right and cultivate it. Just beware of the rebound. The quickest way I get over a chick is to bang another one. Well chicks do the same thing only for them it's the emotional crap they want and not the physical. Don't be the guy who builds her self esteem back up kissing her ass so she can confidently bang any other guy but you.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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