"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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And so ends All that.

cfdagola

Don Juan
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Not sure if was a mistake in my interaction with this new HB or what. but things were going great. we were connecting. i kept conversation sparse. she did tell me at some point in the beginning that she had a b/f and things were terrible.

then she told me she broke up with him. and things were good. (since breakup almost nightly she's been going out to bars etc.. which is a red flag to me)

we ended up smoking a bowl last day of the semester. and usually when people who have done this for awhile smoke things tend to come out because its literally like a truth serum. Your just more comfortable. she asked me a lot about myself. i told her but i kept cool not wanting do divulge to much information.

i pointed out a CD in her car. i said what's that. she said its a greek cd. she put the CD in she wanted me to listen to a couple of tracks she liked. i said this is pretty good club music. she laughed and agreed and then the bomb hit.

she said a lot of friends think i only like this stuff because of my ex. (she refereed to him by name at this point) but i actually like it. i casually said what's going on with that.

she said casually we haven't even talked at all. she seemed uncaring about that part but the part which blew up at me was when she said "but it sucks because his grandfather just died".

I let that slide. didn't bring it up changed topics and had her drop me off at my car. strange thing was she was leaning in on me and i didn't notice because i was making fun of her pointing to some lady with 4 kids that's gonna be her. she laughed i turned around and her face was all in mine. i'm like welll.. thanks for the smoke have a good holiday.

come to find she's refrended the ex and is liking pictures on instagram.

there's a lot to assume here. but really i think the whole grandfather just dieing coupled with the holiday coming up was something i could never overcome. emotional impact between the two probably grew really strong once contact was made which i'm sure it was shortly after our interaction.

I advised myself to cease contact and just see her next semester as per usual. figured i'd share though. wanted to get it out to folks who can relate.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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glass half full

Master Don Juan
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One thing I've learned over the years, is that we have to take the move right then or it's gone. I can think of times past, and one here recently that I let an opportunity slip away because I didn't take advantage of the moment, usually because I felt surprised on unprepared for what ever reason, it stinks
 

cfdagola

Don Juan
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Yeah see the thing is. Her ex is a polar opposite of her. The only connection is their bond to family. I'm not really a family guy and I told her that. Me and her have almost everything in common even down to our major. Once the holiday is over the reality if it all will sink in.

Nonetheless I shoulda made a quick kiss close. Even if she wasn't expecting it. I didn't so its water under the bridge now.

Sucks I would have liked for something to have formed. But with the refriending there's not much I can do at this point but let it ride.
 
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