Analyzing rejection

[becker]

Ok, it seems like many people here let the fear of rejection hold them back, based on some posts I've seen, so I figured that maybe it would be good to discuss why rejection is such a problem and to confront the fear so that we can see how it causes problems.

I personally don't mind rejection unless I have to see the girl again regularly, because then it creates this awkwardness when you do see her. You know, the type of feeling where you know a person, but then have to act like you have never seen them before in your life? That's just a strange feeling.

Other than that, rejection is not a problem, because we can always move on.

Another reason why we should not sit around and ponder our approach too much and just go up to a girl and ask her for her number, etc. is that the more buildup you create, the more it can come crashing down if things don't work out the way you hoped it would.

Anyways, any other theories or insights are welcome.

 

[legolas]

For me it's not rejection neccessarily, although that's a part of it. I think for me the center of it all, the force driving it all is embarrasment more than rejection, or to be more exact it it the fear of being embarrased by rejection Figure that one out!!

 

[Juan_Man]

Originally posted by legolas
For me it's not rejection neccessarily, although that's a part of it. I think for me the center of it all, the force driving it all is embarrasment more than rejection, or to be more exact it it the fear of being embarrased by rejection Figure that one out!!

Why should you be embarrassed by the fact that you have the balls to approach?

 

[becker]

Originally posted by legolas
For me it's not rejection neccessarily, although that's a part of it. I think for me the center of it all, the force driving it all is embarrasment more than rejection, or to be more exact it it the fear of being embarrased by rejection Figure that one out!!

But isn't the only embarrassment that you'll face, if any, is seeing the girl again, since she's really the only one that usually knows what happened since you were dissed?

 

[schulkfl]

I think that unless you seriously flubbed when you tried to mac on a girl, there shouldn't be any reason to be embarassed. If it's a girl that you will see many times afterwards, it can be very awkward the next time you see her-

HOWEVER, I think this is where you can still strut your stuff. Remember, actions speak louder than words. If you see her the next day and come off extremely cool and unphased, still treating her with respect, she will be surprised and this plays in your favor. It's almost like you passed a massive shyt test.

That is my personal experience- I've completely turned things around in the "aftermath" of a rejection by playing it cool- it shows some maturity and that your a stable person.

Come to think of it, the more you f*ck up, the more power you have in that sense, b/c she will be expecting you to avoid her all the more- at which point you don't, and then she is rather surprised, perplexed-

Understand what I am sayin? Trying to put all these jumbled thoughts together and it doesn't seem to be turning out too well- i'm only half awake . . . . .

 

[stewartlittle]

Wondering if a girl would like to go out on a date is far worse than actually ask a girl and get rejected. After rejection, you can move on. There are enough girls out there.

 

[SDBmania]

I can add to this

Rejection is a fact of life. You have to deal with it, not just with asking out girls. So, once I realised that things picked up. Also, I find that most guys who are afraid of rejection have little confidence and self-esteem in theselves. Once I improved my self image I was finally able to ask out a girl. I've done it twice so far and I do admit that after I get rejected a wait a long time before I try again. However, that is starting to change. I still have some growing to do, but at least I can approach now, even if I don't do it often.

 

[schulkfl]

ahhhh sh*t
I pretty much just got rejected

move on- dumb ***** - I'll prolly see her tonight too-
geez this game can get annoying sometimes . . .

 

[legolas]

Originally posted by becker
But isn't the only embarrassment that you'll face, if any, is seeing the girl again, since she's really the only one that usually knows what happened since you were dissed?

Sorry to dissappoint you mate but my brain is smarter than that. It can come up with so many different situations where for example she'll tell her friends and they'll laugh at me, whether or not I know the chick and things like that.

Damn I wish I was stupider! (not really)

Just kidding though, I must get over it somehow.